My Glass Jar

My pain, my anger goes inside the glass jar

Drop by drop by drop

It has been trickling inside

So many years, my glass jar has been my faithful companion

Holding dearly the emotions I don’t like to express

It’s been so long since I found my jar

That I no longer notice how my emotions pour inside it

The cap is always tightly forced,

Those emotions constantly threatening to release themselves

Its been so long

So very long

That those emotions are running together

Forming one incoherent mass

The strength of all those moments of emotional weakness
Together, they crack my precious jar

A drop of anger slips through the cracks
I grind my teeth at an insignificant mistake

A drop of sadness slips through the cracks

I bite my lips to keep from crying

More drops slide through,

Mixing together the salty tears and burning anger left unexpressed

I fold my knees to my chest, cradling my fragmenting jar

I don’t want it to explode

I don’t know how to handle it

If I cover the cracks with my fingers,

Maybe

Maybe I can save it

Maybe my emotions will stay inside

Where they won’t damage anyone

Where the pain will only be in my bloody fingers,

Cut by my own shattering jar

My heart will remain unharmed, if only I leave the pain in my hands

The pressure inside my jar continues building

My hands strain, blood mixing with the escaping emotions

There’s nothing else I can do

My jar will burst soon, cutting those around me with glass and dark emotions

I fold into myself, trying to prevent the inevitable

In my desperation to block the cracks, the lid of my jar bursts off

The pressure inside my hands dissipates as emotions rush outward

I flinch in horror at the destruction my jar has caused

I look inward, at my hands

With all the pain and anger released, my jar is empty but intact

My own blood has scabbed over, sealing the cracks

I should have learned that my jar is not my savior

That perhaps it is the true weapon of the surrounding destruction

Yet still I cradle it inside my arms,

Drops of pain begin to fall inside

I never learn

Reviews

[ScarletButterfly]

This poem really speaks to me. I understand exactly what you are talking about, as I have a jar of my own. The buildup in the poem was great, and I liked the imagery. It made your point very clear. I know how hard it is when the jar starts to explode. And then the end, keeping the pain inside again, it's sad but unfortunately true: we sometimes end up repeating our own failures. I know in my case, it is my attempt to be "strong," but all I'm doing is hurting myself and keeping everything that hurts inside rather than actually letting it go. I think that's what we need to do, those of us who have glass jars.

[Whiterose]

I am a person that has kept bottling up emotions for such a long time that I forget I'm doing it, so to finally express this was different. I believe the first step in letting go is to express those emotions and letting others in. We would rely less on our bottles if we realized that there are people around us that would accept our emotions.
Thanks for reading and reviewing. :)