Chapter 3

 

            My dad agreed to drive me to Mill Park, we hadn’t talked much since Jacob left the hospital because he’d been so busy arguing with my mom about how irresponsible and uncaring she was to her own family.

“It’s good that you’re meeting up with this girl,” He said to me as we pulled out of the driveway.

I craned my neck to glance up at Jacob’s window; he was sitting there looking solemnly down at the car.

“Jacob, he should get therapy or something.” I laid my head against the warm window pane.

“It’s been only been a week Logan, he’s still struggling-don’t worry, he’ll get better eventually.” He replied back like it was the smallest problem in the world.

“He’s always crying though,” I watched the grass as it whizzed by the car, creating a rush of green outside the window.

“Yeah, that’s hard to hear all the time isn’t it?”

            I closed my eyes and focused on the tiny spots floating through the red and black expanse of my eye lids. “Is mom ever coming back?” I asked it with a tight smile on my face because I knew it was such a silly question to ask.

“Your mom is better off in her other life, she’s not fit to be with mature men like us.” My dad laughed.

My stomach dropped. He laughed.

**

I noticed Lily sitting on the swing as I climbed out of the car.

“Call me when you want to be picked up alright?” My dad called at me as he made a U-turn out of the lot to leave.

I shoved my hands into my pockets and made my way over to her. She noticed me from a few feet away.

“Hey,” She grinned. I hadn’t notice how beautiful her complexion was until that day I saw her in the evening sunlight.

“Hi,” I sat down next to her trying not to be sucked into her pretty brown eyes.

“Did you do something to your hair?” She leaned forward to get a better look.

            I brushed my hand through my messy strands of black hair. I hadn’t done anything to it since the third grade when I got a small trim off the front. “Um, no, it’s just messy.” I laughed nervously. 

She smiled. I smiled.

She hopped off of the swing. “Wanna walk over to the lake?”

“Yeah,” I replied.

            We walked silently towards the brush of trees and bushes that surrounded the lake. The gravel beneath our feet crunched loudly as we strode along the pathway that wrapped around the water.

“You have friends right?” She asked me then.

I nodded.

“Have you talked to any of them about Jacob?”

I shook my head. “They’ve been calling and texting me but I don’t really want to talk to them right now.”

She nodded. “Yeah, I get it; I’ve been avoiding my friends too.”

We stopped to walk down to into an opening that lead to the edge of the lake. When we reached, I looked down in the water at my warped reflection.

“That’s how I feel,” I whispered to myself as the ripples further distorted my features.

Lily glanced down into the water. “You feel like water?”

“I feel messed up.”

She looked up at me again.

“I feel useless, just like a reflection in the water; unnecessary.” I continued.

“You’re not unnecessary,” She begun, but I wasn’t listening.

            I picked up a rock and threw it into the water as a surge of anger ran through me. “Screw everything!” I screamed angrily. I was even shocked that I had exploded so randomly like that, but I was angry, I just needed to scream.

Lily wrapped her arms around herself protectively at my outburst.

“Screw my mom, screw my brother, screw my dad,” I heaved kicking the rocks nearby me into the water as well. “Just screw it!”

“Logan stop, it’s alright.” She whispered.

I squatted down and clenched my fists, rubbing them hard against my eyes. “I’m sorry, I-I don’t know what just happened,” I croaked into my palms.

            I felt Lily kneel down beside me. She wrapped her arms around my body and laid her head on my shoulder. I removed my hands from my eyes and gazed down at her. Her eyes were closed and her lips were pressed tightly together as if she was concentrating on something. I wasn’t really sure if I should hug her back or not so I just put my hands on her waist, awkwardly I might add. She burst out laughing and pulled away.

“Are you okay now?” She cocked her head as she asked.

“Um, yeah, thanks.” I already knew I was probably blushing really hard.

She ruffled my hair and stood up. I followed her lead and stood up as well.

“Let’s keep walking,” She went ahead of me back onto the path.

I looked back at the water once more before I followed her. There were two skies, one in the actual sky and another sitting fuzzy and still in the water. Together they created something out of this world.

**

“Dad? I’m ready now, yeah, I’m waiting by the parking lot.” I said calmly into the speaker of my phone as I twisted a dandelion between fingers.

Lily sat behind me on a picnic benches, swinging her sandal wrapped feet back and forth in the cool air.

            I clicked my phone off and shoved it back into my sweater pocket. The clouds in the sky were turning a dreamy blue colour and were lined with a soft pink on their outside as the sun started to go down beyond the horizon. Me, Lily, and the chirping grasshoppers were the only ones up and audible in the park as the world began to settle down around us. I closed my eyes and breathed in the cool air that smelled of freshly cut grass and sweet coconut water.

“Today was nice,” Lily spoke up from behind me. I opened my eyes. “Kinda wish we didn’t have to go home,” She laughed softly.

I turned around to face her. Her head was hanging low and I knew she was trying to hide her emotions from me.

“I’ll call you tomorrow OK?” I said easily to her.

She lifted her head a bit, but not enough for me to see her face. “I-I don’t want you to leave,” She stuttered.

I stared at her for a long time before replying. “I’m sorry; I can’t stay out all night.”

“Yeah, I know,” She nodded frantically as if she knew what she’d said before sounded completely ridiculous.

I walked towards her and ruffled her hair like she had done to me before when I was freaking out. “Don’t worry, everything will be alright.” I smiled with the last bit of hope I could scourge out of my body.

She gave me a tight smile in return; a smile that made me unconvinced that she truly believed everything would be alright.