What not to do at a New Year's Party

Happy New Year!

What not to do at a New Year’s Party

1. It is best for yourself, and everyone else, if you do not attempt to impersonate Lady Gaga. Even when she comes on the screen. You will end up being thrown into the punch bowl.

2. Do not be the one to spike the punch bowl, because you are not aware of how many other people have already spiked the punch bowl and therefore could end up with an enormous mess in your house come morning. And many strange people you have never seen before.

3. Don’t. Eat. The. Brownies.

4. If you are politely invited to a group game of “truth or dare” fun, kindly refuse. The police and alcohol don’t mix well together. At all.

5. Make sure that when it is time to pop the streamer popper things, that they are pointed away from your face. True story.

6. You will inevitably have one friend, at least, who is an absolute idiot of the highest degree, and should not allow him near the fireplace. Friends such as these have a tendency to throw their half-empty beer bottle into said fireplace for an unwanted chemistry class session.  

7. Don’t be the one person that absolutely EVERYONE sees nude.

8. Don’t. Eat. The. Gummy. Bears.

9. And, most importantly, do not be the one who hosts the New Year’s Party. Cleaning up teddy bears, vomit, severed limbs, glass shards, and streamers the next morning is the absolute worst, and the hangover will not make it any more bearable. Instead, go trash someone else’s home for the upcoming year.

 

Cheers! 2014 is on the horizon.

Author's Note

This is just me being silly, I know absolutely none of this from experience (except maybe number 5...), but came up with it and thought it was kind of funny. Happy New Year! Review and I will review back.

Reviews

[BClancy]

This is hilarious! So well written and so funny! Great job!

[Frieda P]

This is outrageously funny, I've never attended a party where there were severed limbs, not so far anyway! I think I might go for the brownies, since it sounds like it might be a necessary evil at the end of this night but I'll pass on naked and gummy bears! Ha, thanks for the laff!

[ZeniaK]

haha I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[Jared Michael Smith]

Well, it was certainly funny, and while you may not have experienced all of this firsthand, it sounds like a very reasonable to-don't list for New Years Eve. Thanks for sharing! :)

[ZeniaK]

lol thanks jared!

[Jared Michael Smith]

You're welcome, Zenia. :)

[K]

Come to think of it, maybe I should stay home this New Year... :-)