prologue

introduction to the world of jaki

After the great war of Maruchi , there was peace in the eight heavenly kingdoms because according to the prophecy a great man will be born every eight hundred years to maintain the balance of good and evil. And every great man is known is jishikukachi or jikachi.

After the king jimota the former jikachi have died the people thought it will be peace for another 800 years but the arikita the man who was considered as the strongest man in the world after jimota was planning something evil.

And chaos was spreading all over the heavenly kingdoms and the eight heavenly kings were searching for the jimota’s arimeimoshite (the knife of jikachi)

Because one who have the knife can gain and possess the divine powers of jikachi.

It was considered that arikita was the next rikatalu that means half jikachi

After the king his kingdom was ruled by the eight godfathers

Eight godfathers were considered to be one who trains a jikachi and they are master of the noshikato art (martial art of jika)

They rule over the great heavenly kingdoms.

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© 2015 Aatharva Banaitkar

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Featured Review

Bushra Naqshbandi

Nice start. Sounds interesting and definitely something I'd like to read. :) It's intriguing and capturing and is exactly what a prologue should be like for a book to be sold. Great job! :)

I noticed that you'd changed the tense at some places and would like to tell you that the story is supposed to be in one tense only. Let me elaborate according to the story.
After the great war of Maruchi , there ''was'' peace in the eight heavenly kingdoms because according to the prophecy a great man ''will'' be born every eight hundred years.........
A good beginning sentence. However, you've changed the tense in the sentence. If you say 'there ''was'' peace' then it should be 'a great man ''would'' be born'. Otherwise if you want it to be 'a great man ''will'' be born' then the beginning should be 'there ''is'' peace' so that the sentence has the same tense as grammar requires.

jikachi have died the people thought it will be peace for another 800 years
Jikachi is a single person so it should be Jikachi ''has'' died or jikachi ''had'' died according to the tense you choose for the first sentence which I've explained above.

And chaos was spreading all over
I simply loved this line and the ripples of tension it created. :)

Because one who have the knife can gain ........
Again, you're talking about a single person i.e. one so it should be 'one who ''has'' the knife' or
'one who ''had'' the knife' (according to the tense chosen).

who trains a jikachi and they are master of.........
Now here you're talking about eight godfathers so it should be 'who ''train'' a jikachi and they are ''masters'' of'........or ''who ''trained a jikachi and they ''were masters'' of........

On the whole, it's creative and nice. :)