The Reverie of Silence

a 30 minutes write, in a crowded cafe! enjoy, please be honest!

 

The Reverie of Silence

 

Silence...
i can hear it beyond the distorted rhymes of fate...
silence...
i can see it beyond the vicious mist of hate...
silence...
its haunts me!
through it the whispers of my mind...
and its... perpetual!
fragments of the past...
and flames... dark flames...
from the future...
light my way...
my fear of sunlight...
my fear of the coming day...
when the darkness covering my sin crawls back...
and all my virtue fades away!

the leaping scepters sooth me far to yesteryear...
into thy skyish[1] land of warmeth[2] love and blue...
from within my abyss of tragedy...
arises through...
and the memory of thy love long lost!
the memory... my phantom... and witness thy love!
as the curfew tolls the neareth[3] of night...
the rocks crumble in depth of sight...
and the bells of deep morn echo...
for ever broken melody... i've let go...
and gracefully...
the memory fades again!

---

[1] Skyish: High as the sky

[2] Warmeth: warming.

[3] Neareth: distance coming closer, nearer.

Reviews

[Mpotavin]

Too many exclamation marks and ... It's all you use, try some commas and single periods. When you are exclaiming everything, it loses its impact. Capitalize i, sorry but only e.e. cummings can use the little i, unless of course you are trying to be compared to him :) Not a fan of the Old English language, its a little over the top, I mean footnotes? I have yet to see a poet that writes in another era who becomes popularized. Its a hack plain and simple. Use modern language. It's hard to get past all this extraneous stuff to really get to the meat of the poem. Try being less poetic and just have a conversation, I'd be interested to see how that turns out.

[Cece]

i want to understand

[Cece]

silence is overwhelming
lost in my senses
trying to understand

silence floored me
too loud the screams
for understanding

silence needs
understanding
of the darkness

[Burr the Story Sorceres..]

Wooooo!! Another great poem from my dear friend. I do love reading your work!!
"its hauts me!"
I get that feeling all the time. I hate silences, except when it is one of those compainionable silences that speak with out words between friends. Those are okay, but only when chatting in person. They don't work over the phone very well.
Two thumbs up!