Looking up

Why don't you smile
On seeing me?
Are you so lost in thoughts
Of things to come
That you are heedless
Of what is happening?

Why don't you hold my head
In your arms and tell me
It is alright to cry sometimes?
Have you forgotten all the days
Of all the sunshine
You gave to my heart?

Why don't you ruffle my hair
For a bit, till you set straight every
Strand of imperfection hidden beneath?
Now will you look at how
Grimy it has become from
The dust of the day?

Why are you looking up
While lying in your bed?
Your hand is not pulseless.
Not to me!
Why don't you now
Sit and wipe my silent tears?

Why don't you wake up?

Reviews

[Adelia Alighieri]

This is very good, very emotive and subtle in terms of the theme. It touched me and reminded me of all the people I've lost - not just to death but to fate.
Great job done.

[deeps]

This is such a sad write here.
I like it. Very well written as well.

[FlawedByDesign]

That was quite sad indeed :(

You had me going thinking happy and then, whoosh* - washed with sadness. I'll assume this was intended, because at the end, you come to the realization that life has left her; no holding of the hand, no ruffling of the hair, no more sunshine emanating from her...

Well done and it did not follow a meter or rhyme - hehe

[KatiePie]

I actually gasped and put my hand over my mouth around the end of this, like in one one of those black and white films where the actors are all over dramatic.
(well I guess that tells you something about me)
But the thing is I'm not usually over dramatic so I think you've just mastered the art of completely shocking me, I really didn't see that ending coming and I think that made it all the more sad and painful, like death you never know when it's coming to your loved ones and when it does all you can think of is 'no seriously bro why is mom still sleeping' well at least that's what I'd say... But then again I am a weird one.. =/ oh well... See I'm rambling again!!
Amazing write though ^-^
I loved reading it
-Cathrine

[ScarlettTheDreamer]

That.was.sad. But good.

[R E Tree]

We all ask questions and we ask again if we don't get a answer. We want to know the answer to why people do things what they do. To find out it takes more then a conversation but a deep one and interesting one. A conversation from the heart, it was well written.

[Victoria]

Wow. I don't think there's anything else I can say. I totally felt the struggle you felt through this poem. The emotions were deep and thoughtful and very sad at the same time. You did very good capturing this image. Well written. :D