In your presence

The morning sun evaporates in your presence.
And in the day, it snows away
Small shimmering pieces of helium.

They fall at your feet
And glow a while
While you tread towards the evening.

It is then the bed of blue above you
Turns a violent green,
Before it fills with fluffy white.

The heavens cry before you sleep
And gift you their rainbows
To wear them as you may.

With a final sigh,
The horizon explodes into a sea of light
As you smile your pretty smile.

The moon arrives to share your shine
But hides itself with shame
When you cover yourself
With your quilt knitted with auroras.

The stars glimmer,
One for every lustrous strand
Of your silken auburn hair.

Dawn creaks into existence
With the first rays of the eager morning sun
Who wants to evaporate again.

Why do you say you aren't beautiful?

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I think it's beautiful, your comparison of the woman to nature and how she is more beautiful than nature. What made her even more beautiful was her modesty. "Why do you say you aren't beautiful?" It reminds me of something that a man told a woman about me before. He said that the most beautiful thing about me was that I didn't know how pretty I really was.

A blush on a woman's face is as beautiful as the blush of a rose.

Linda Marie

[Rose Tyler]

This is amazing. Beautifully written!

[Julijana Velichkovska]

Why do you say you aren't beautiful? ... it was all the fam - fatal till this line... The cosmic beauty compared with the beauty of a woman was amazing, and romantic... but the ending gives it a sad note, we women are strange beings, we need to be told that we are loved, we need to be told that we are beautiful... that is what makes us weak, no matter how strong we really are.... great poem, makes you think... and wonder...

[Radha Jaisingh]

Awww Awsome!!!!

[ScarlettTheDreamer]

This is my first try at reading your work and its awesome! The line 'why do you say you are not beautiful?' distinguished this piece from all the others. I luv it!

[Lucy Joan]

"The morning sun evaporates in your presence."
The very first line of the poem, and it seems to capture a very bright, allusory image. As if the very beauty of the woman surpasses the radiance of the sun.
"The horizon explodes into a sea of light
As you smile your pretty smile."
Again, your comparison with the light of the horizon and a simple smile is brilliant!
"The moon arrives to share your shine
But hides itself with shame"
Great personification! All your comparisons just emanate images of great beauty, which makes your final query as a conclusion to your poem allegorical and powerful. Another wonderful poem. ^^

[faryn wolff]

This is a beautiful, romantic piece...Such lovely imagery and the overall sense of passion is breathtaking. It is the job of a poet to notice such things and capture them in writing, and you did that perfectly.

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

I think this was lovely.One of your best writings.Your words were like first few rays of sun merging with the vast blue of the sky..so very lovely and poignant.
I liked the first stanza a lot..
The morning sun evaporates in your presence.
And in the day, it snows away
Small shimmering pieces of helium.
I t was very original..

[R E Tree]

I adore how you have brought colours into this. It really does boost up someones self-esteem and any woman would love to read this when they feel that there beauty isn't as good as they want it to be. But I do agree with Dupree on this if it won't for men caring so much about themselves then women won't lack in self-esteem so much.

[Dupree]

THis poem is great. This is the type of thing every boyfriend should tell their girlfriends when the girl is bein insecure. This is a great piece. Very descriptive, and amazing descriptions at that.

[Dinesh Sairam]

Damn you dude! I really envy you for your imagery and metric talent! What should I say about this one? It's splendid from all angles!