Chapter 1 - The Full Moon

Move to the Village

Chapter 1

All I see here are trees and more trees. We’ve been driving for hours only taking stops to use the bathroom and buy snacks at near-by gas stations. Mom, dad, my sisters and I are moving to Welbane in Transylvania because dad got a job as Chief Financial Adviser at Collins LTD. It’s a small town far away from society which means for me away from my friends and technology. My name is Adkah Raphman. I am an average nineteen year old girl…..well at least I was.  As we finally arrived I look at the two storey vintage wooden house. It stood in the middle of the property enclosed by trees. The house had three bedrooms and two bathrooms. The bedrooms and one bathroom were upstairs and the other bathroom was downstairs all covered in white. There were no individuality among the rooms and most places were in need of renovating and cleaning.

My room is located at the west side of the house (which is also the entrance of the property). As I entered the room my gaze was drawn to the window. I crossed the floor and peered out of the window looking at the wild life and the landscape, which I could barely see due to the large oak tree in front of the window. As my eyes wondered around my circumspection was drawn to a huge mansion at the top of the mountain. The mansion was vintage and scary; it reminded me of one of the haunted houses in the old movies I would watch on television with my sisters. Though it appeared to be gray, years has somewhat affected its appearance and moss has demanded a place of its own along its walls. As I examined the house more intensely I noticed boarded windows and a black metal door. Was this place abandoned? This intriguing revelation had my undivided attention and I marveled at the beauty of the structure and how the trees around it provided a shade but not enough to conceal it from the rays of the sun coming through its leaves. I was appalled at the state in which this magnificent mansion was in, surely someone had to see its value and wanted to preserve it. Just as I questioned the loyalty of its owners, someone or something flitted across the yard. I was taken aback and sought to investigate but my mother beckoned to me to unpack my boxes downstairs. I was pulled back into reality. I ran downstairs to see what was taking place.

My mother was hastily unpacking the moving boxes. “Adkah; honey come help me with this”.      

“Sure mom”, I replied. I emptied the moving boxes robotically, arranging and rearranging furniture, appliances and clothes in the house while my mind replayed what I saw, prompting me for an explanation.

Author's Note

Please review description and flow of story line.

Reviews

[David Jae]

I love the sense of intrigue and suspense that you create, and the way that you reveal Adkah's character. If there is an improvement I could suggest, it is to put your dialogue on a separate line each time there is a new speaker.

You should be proud of this.

[A.K. Simon]

Thank you so much, This is my first novel i wrote when I was younger. Thank you for your suggestions also.

[David Jae]

You're welcome.