Fever Dream of a Mom

thoughts about my family and stuff

our family was doomed from the start

botched genes mixing with each other

only bound to create a mess

i wish they would’ve thought this through

I have my mother’s cold skinny hands

just like her, I never had to get them dirty

that’s only because they’ve been dirty since i was born

mulch and blood dried up in my fingertips

if she knew i faced the same fate as her

i think she would’ve made a different decision

or maybe not, who knows

she wasn’t the most rational person i’ve known. 

trying to find traces of her life she left behind

is like trying to find gold in a elementary playground

she’s like this mysterious figment of my life

truly, did she ever really exist, or was she just a fever dream?