Ashley♥

this is dedicated to the girl i loved most.....we break up last two weeks...

Ashley♥


I dont know what to say...
i am sorry, are you okay?
i wish this is a fairy tale
if not, i might be caught in a black mail

If i hurt you, i did not mean it
you know i love you and you know thats it
what is wrong with you my love?
tell me, sacred girl, whats the prob?

There comes day and night, your crying
Please tell me, i am dying
The reason why your tears falling
Sheesh, my love, im pleasing

Valentines day is near
the mellow music, the fear
my love for you slowly fades away
i am sorry, i dont know what i have to say

Maybe its time to say "goodbye"
My love for you, says "bye"
until now, im trying to say sorry
for the girl i love, my Ashley

Reviews

[Andrea.]

Aww... you make very nice poems :)) Love it! But I still wonder who's Ashley :P :)

[R.W. Blue]

The poem was okay, but it seems to me that you were just a bit too focused on rhyming and not focused enough on getting your thoughts across. Like the final line of the third paragraph just seemed a bit awkward. Some capitalization errors, but in the end, it was decent. Just need to fix some ragged ends.

[B.E. Gonzales]

I almost cried after reading this poem. I was crying a little when I got to school a few hours ago. I was ready to give up on this girl I like. The painful wound I got a few hours ago while I was organizing the books on the bookshelves bothered my mind and I said to myself: "I couldn't hurt myself even though I want to." I love that girl so much but she loves someone else and I was becoming a burden to her. I want to leave the memory of her behind and start all over again. But my heart keeps telling me to stay. Everyday, I hear stories about her and her guy and it hurts so bad that a while ago, I almost got myself killed because I was thinking about it when I was crossing the street. I slipped on a rock on the road and I was almost hit by a tricycle. Then after that close encounter with Death, I said to myself: "If I was killed then, let the reason be suicide." Now I realize that committing suicide will not change the fact that she loves somebody else. Death won't give you a chance to live again. Only Life can give chances and opportunity to change. Well, this is my life. I have to live with it. I have encountered rejection many times in the past and that those rejections were of the worst kind: they won't tell you that they don't like you but you can see that their actions speak that. It's hard but I have to move on. I have to give new meaning to my life. I still live the girl but I'm staying at a distance.

[Coyote Poetry]

Ain't no easy way to separate. Many questions in your poem unanswered. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Yani De Los Reyes]

Aww Aljude. :c