my perfect sin

poem #6 (still going) ally vs. denny :)

your nothing but trouble,

always down never up,

your teers may fall,

but cought in a cup,

bad from the start,

me and him,

never meant to be,

my perfect sin,

i pushed you pulled,

you started to care,

i wondered off,

wind in my hair,

life is better now,

your not around,

havent said one word to me,

not even a sound,

but even the worst,

have highlights,

not you,

nothings right,

i moved on,

made my own den,

never would work,

my perfect little sin.

 

Reviews

[Looouise]

Whenever you write 'your' it's meant to be you're
Capitalize your i's
teer = tear
cought = caught
havent = haven't

And like Brittany W said, there are a few grammatical mistakes. I think you should read the poem out loud to yourself and see where there should be full stops or commas. Things like that, because this is actually a neat poem. It sounds really good, and the idea is pretty neat.

[Brittany W]

Good job on this, there are some grammar mistakes, but overall its a nice poem.

[KayDennyy!(:]

Damn that's hot !:)
its on!