The Tragic Story of Alyssa

This is a short story I wrote out of boredom. Hope you like it!

As Alyssa looked at her weathered reflection in the bathroom mirror, she noticed the hollowness of her gray eyes. A skeleton, she thought. Always, had she hated skeletons.  They reminded her of death, terror, and of mayhem.  Her raven black hair was short, muddled, and dirty. She needed a shower. She needed to feel the warm embrace of water, washing all the stains of dirt away. Yes, a shower was what she needed.

She slowly took of her torn clothes of. When she was naked, she studied it. As it all lay there on the floor, it looked like a pile of mud. A pile of dirt. God, how she hated dirt. It reminded her of graves and dead people. She didn’t like death very much. Some would even say she despised it.

When she was finally embraced by hot, soothing water, Alyssa started screaming. Her body seemed to turn the lovely feeling into agony. You don’t deserve soothing. Not after what you’ve done. It seemed to tell her.

Alyssa jumped out the shower and looked at her reflection once again: her before raven hair was now gray as an old lady’s. Her skin clean, but filled with bruises.

She screamed once again, but was abruptly stopped by something. Something was in her throat. It felt like knives. She took up a hand to feel it, but there was nothing. There was no trace of anything in her throat.

She hurried down to the kitchen, only to see a burned down ruin. And when she turned around to enter the bathroom again, it was burned and filled with smoke, as well. She closed her eyes and wished it all  away. And when she opened them again, it was. It was all gone. The world was gone. Everything was gone. She was gone, she noticed when she looked down at where her body had once been. What was happening to her?

 

In a hospital bed, a girl is lying. Motionless with her eyes open wide. If you come close to her, you will notice the trace of scars on her skin. She scars she was cursed with in the fire. The fire of her childhood home. 

If you come even closer, you can smell the horrible scent of smoke, also from the fire.

And if you do some research on her, you can read that she was the one causing the fire. She was trapped in that house. Her father raping her, her mother torturing her, and her brother lying at her side, doing nothing, you can read about that, as well.

The tragic story of how she killed them all, and later, after the bodies had begun to rot, she turned on the stove, causing gas to fill the rotten air. Alyssa herself entered the shower, swallowed broken glass, and lit some matches.

How she is still in one piece, is not to be known, but one thing is: she has a haunted soul.

Author's Note

what do you think?

Reviews

[Domo]

Again, a dark piece from your young mind. There are a few typos to be seen but do not make the story oblivious in any way. Using such words and products like fire, glass, knives, grave, dirt, all in the same story, can determine the exact mood all in themselves, which in this case, is horror. For a story you put into eleven paragraphs, you were able to put a lot of imagery into the readers mind and help them believe that this girl was traumatized and soon became sensitized to all around her. The closure, from "In a hospital bed..." to "...she has a haunted soul." summed up the pain that was possessed by what is indirectly described as a ghost. This story definitely has potential for what could be a legendary ghost story. Keep up the good work Amanda.

[Amanda J. S.]

Thank you! :-)