All Along...

Written during a boooooring class in school..

All Along my life...
In the monotonous strife,
with pupil of many a type,
slowly my mind begins to ripe,
why these ideas begins to wipe?
Amidst the daily talking hype,
why those memories fade in vibe,
Why they act as a bribe,
Shallow evil; committed crime!
Slowly passing; for needs sublime!
Like screaming of a mime,
Sans a word, flowing with time,
not one, ready to rhyme!
Going away as "others" line!!
                                   ------- Amar laksh

Author's Note

please try to keep the rhyming scheme at the back... and the message at the front! :D :P

Reviews

[Ohhhwillow]

I tried to do so and I'm actually very impressed by this piece. You certainly have talent, be assertive with your ideas, if you don't want rhym to intervene with meaning then choose a style that compliments the atmosphere you wish to induce. :) No idea how you managed to write in class Amarlaksh, to me that's impossible! :P

[David Scott]

Good rhyme iffy meter... Interesting humor.

[Baby Ricochet]

Good rhythm and rhyme

[Salar Majak]

the rhyming is AMAZING!!! i loooove it! sometimes boring lectures can be inspiring ;) i can see from the poem. great one Ammar!!

[quinfinn]

i agree that your rhyming is indeed superb, but i agree with John and Leslie that a free verse might be tons of fun for you because you have such a way with words and it would grant you so much leverage ....wonderful write!

[Annabelle Lee]

not bad at all, amarlaksh.

[critic h]

very well written. I see you have got the talent of manipulation. and yes of course a constant rhyming scheme and a perfect flow of words. well done.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Readable piece Amar and I can see it springing from a boring lecture. Try some free poetry without rhyme you will be awesome and enjoy its freedom.

[Leslie Philibert]

I think this is a good poem, but you have set yourself a difficult job with a constant rhyme scheme. Try couplets or a quatrain. You have a lot of talent, well done.