Reckless

Darkness...

Reckless

I am reckless
Invisible
Running like the wind
Through the black of night
It is a rush
That is all I hear
That is all there is

Suddenly I fall to my knees
I get cut when I fall
Feeling blood run down my leg
Is how I know
I feel tears
Running down from my eyes

From the inside I feel
Myself crumble
Like an old ruin
That is me
Lying in ruins
A pile that everyone passes by

They do not see me
Do not care for me
I am a pile of ruins

Author's Note

Just a vision. Don't know where it came from.

Reviews

[Kelsey]

I do like this, but I feel like it could use a bit more. I can't quite put my tongue on it, but I feel like it is missing something. I feel like it is a bit choppy; Getting a cut on your leg from falling while running to just completely crumbling into ruins. I really like the idea behind the poem, going from running recklessly and just that feeling of being free, to falling to your knees. I like the idea behind it and everything, I think it could just use a little work.

[TheElfPrincess]

A very interesting poem, with good flow and format. Sad yet beautiful. Well done.

[Ripple of Aqua]

Not only is this a deep and meaningful poem but it also is a little all over the place.Your first paragraph was very fluid and uplifting, and then you get to your second and you get a little bumpy, but I think that it should stay like that, only because of what I believe to be the meaning for your vision.
From a little bit of guessing, I can tell that you were having the time of your life, until something suddenly pulled you up short and stopped you in your tracks, hurting you. Making you fall to pieces inside. It's very dark, but it also is very eye opening; in most parts of our lives we find ourselves to do this exact thing over and over again. Really informational.