The anxiety poem

I wrote this in my notes last Autumn when my anxiety got me feeling meh. Just an insight of what it may feel like.

I want to go outside and do what everyone else is doing
I want to go to coffee shops
I want to go for an autumn walk
I want to go to Starbucks for a pumpkin spice latte
I want to sit through a film and not feel bad
I want to eat
I want to be able to breathe
I want to feel okay again and be able to see my family

Author's Note

Better days come x

Reviews

[emipoemi]

I don't know who I would be dealing with when I comment on this, but if I may be blunt, the best lines in this piece are the 1st and last (even Line 5 isn't too bad). But the progression is wobbly and you can make this a gem of a piece with some tweaks that would allow the progression to keep going up and then slide cathartically down the mountain. The idea is great, the purpose is clear, but the craft could use some work. (I say so because I know this feeling, and I know that because you feel it too, or able to properly do it justice).

[Ames]

Thankyou for reading I really appreciat it, I literally scribble feelings down in my notes when I feel them so I thought it would be more powerful and honest if I left it as it were originally!:)

[emipoemi]

Poetry is powerful when honest and raw, no doubt about that. But if you craft it in a way that shows the reader what you're trying to convey, they feel it too (even if they've never experienced such a feeling before). As a poet you have to paint with your words, and if they carry pain, you have to find a way to stab the readers with that pain otherwise they can't empathize. If the words carry happiness or anger or even love, jab jab and jab in a way the readers understand. Poetry is felt with all five senses (that's what makes poetry unique; that's what makes writing unique). Because if you leave it as is, this type of writing is more a call for help and a desire for attention than it is a serious attempt at expression (forgive my somewhat harsh wording, it was for lack of a better explanation).

[Ames]

Nothing to forgive, that's great advice, thankyou.

[emipoemi]

my pleasure.