closer than veins

A girl i feel for

Days of grief, densed with plead
Burning desires, hopeless days.
Prayed so hard, only asked her heed
She live it large though, got many ways.
Im alive, every breath i die in dismay
Like a coldblood, suffocating in the blues.
Be closer, exhale letme gasp that air
My life in a dark, like its the only hue.
I saw a dream of my shorten days
Who even wants to live without her gaze.
Someone tell her to say my name
Before my poor life goes in vain.


They say she got a man ,her life is his reign
But her words to me are closer than my veins.
How come my heart got into this halberded game
I have seen her eyes, them are not same
May be she long for me in his absence and my fame...

Reviews

[uNmAsKeD-dEluSiOns]

Nicely done and a great way to put it. I like your style of writing. I really loved that line you used "closer than my veins" I think it describes that feeling perfectly, and is very unique. I really like this, it flowed very well too.

[amrit]

thanx a lot ! thanx for taking your time out to check it :)

[Steve L.]

very well done! sometimes the ones we love slip through our fingers>