Untitled.

Okay, read in between the lines. Deeply.

 

             I'm lost or stolen, broken... bound.

             I'll be stuck in Hell forever, I guess..

             Too much of a chore to be found...

 

 

You are my little angel, you know...

 I hear him speaking softly

 to me, but I cannot respond,

 and my spirit overcomes my body.

 

Angels are pure, a pure purpose as well...

 I am list'ning to his madness?

 Those whispering lips, that passionate kiss,

 I'm stuck in this f*****g abyss.

 

My eyes can see, but barely,

  So how do I see your sin?

  My nerves cannot feel, my skin does not peel,

  I wish I could shed my skin.

 

Try to be pure, cleaning that filth

 that's blanketing my body.

 But all I get are deeper wounds

 And towels that are bloody.

 

Then it hits like a razor blade

 Against a virgin wrist.

 They say it's wrong, but you don't agree;

 you continue to persist.

 

The voices fade, my vision blurs

 I'm in a state of Zen.

As the last speck melts into the black...

 

 

 

 I am pure yet again.

Author's Note

I'd really like to know what you guys think it is about.
It's a little confusing, but that's the point, hehe.

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

I think this results from a dream, or a discussion
about abortion.

Unanswered questions about taking a human
life can be disturbing at least. Sometimes the
question can become maddening.

The poem is excellent. The structure is
attractive and the story binding.

Excellent writing !

My rating ------100 %

------ Eagle cruagh

[Aaron Felix]

I'm not sure about the actual authorial intent, I won't even try. To me the poem rings with incest, or at least the taboo mood. I like how there's a You (He), a Me, and a They. The authority figure is well crafted, unclear, big, male, suffocating, wrongly enthroned. The speaker is young or paralyzed (socially, subjectively, materially, emotionally). The They bring the hell, they colour the scenario with a whole stable of imagery, sense-making binaries of purity and filth, sin and innocence. The zen state fascinates me---oneness/numbness as a quiet post-violence. There is a moment separating the moment of death and the end State. I like this poem a lot, it's growing more complex and intense with each reading.

Also, thanks for your review of my poem--appreciate it. AF

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

this sounds to me like one who is a cutter... something about it makes me think of this ..
i like the poem and it's mystery.
Very well written ..

Chloe
xoxo

[Poeticpiers]

seeking the still centre allowing thoughts to pass unnoticed answers most questions
Ienjoyed the ambiguity which allowed me to place my own interpretation
Nicely presented in free form poetic Prose

[JRB]

Passion runs wild, resulting in second thoughts, doubt and confusion haunt the being, casting hope into a world of lost dreams, not yet brought forth from deep inside the heart, awaken in darkness not seeing the light she believes in herself, yet holds fear for another. Jan

[Bran the Broken]

Love, Passion. Confusion. Betrayal. Purpose. innocence. Guilt. Confusing, but free to interpretation. good phrasing, tight and sharp.

[Ayumi Minji]

nice poem and it's very well written ;]

[deeps]

My eyes can see, but barely,
So how do I see your sin?
My nerves cannot feel, my skin does not peel,
I wish I could shed my skin.

These are some amazing lines here
This is a really well written write.
Wonderful wording and well presented.