Katrina

When the water first began to pool,

creeping like sweat on a child's back,

it went unnoticed

until it breached the crack of light below our front door

and cast it, momentarily shattered,

so it painted the kitchen with

amorphous reds and blues.

Then mama began to scream.

     The photographs! The money! We have to go, we have to go!

Go Go Go Go Go

For the two hours we went

we were shown the purest forms of ourselves

stacked precariously (and mostly wet)

on our respective beds.

This was our judgement day.

The clouds collected and collided

whipped by sentient winds 

(soldiers of the rapture).

How could I be afraid?

I lifted the cross to my lips and pretended to pray

but mama said God had a different plan

The Ark! (our minivan)

my heart warmed despite the splitting cold 

that seeped into my feet's bones

from water now three inches high and well above my ankles

When we finally set our collected belongings

upon the dining room table

I thought they were so small,

that we are all so small

in the eye of a storm.

I said

   But mama, we can't fit all the animals in the car

She didn't even smile,

the expression was fragmented;

a moving-box trembling slightly in her frozen hands,

eyes glued to the window. 

In my head I heard choirs singing

saw their mouths open in slow motion,

saliva raining from their lips,

They sang of salvation and sacrifice

as our minivan drifted by in brackish water

Author's Note

The poem is about denouncing faith in God (I am an atheist). Just wanted to make that clear.

Reviews

[Aisha Mnd]

I loved this poem. I grew up in a religious household and I too am an atheist (well, more so an apathetic agnostic), so I can very much relate to this piece here; and of course, you write beautifully and you're very talented.

I adored this line:

I thought they were so small,
that we are all so small
in the eye of a storm.

So true!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Oh wow...this is fantastic. I love the ideas and emotions that you have so expertly created with so much beautiful imagery. I'm in awe of some of your lines, truly. There is little to say except for that I found this absolutely beautiful.

[Acucena G.]

Its just unbelievably fantastic, well done

[John Lauterbach]

Are the parenthesis totally necessary? I don't usually write poetry, but I try to avoid them in storytelling. They take the reader out of the story to give a side-note, like the chatty dick in a movie theater.

I like the unfulfilled metaphor of being saved that the little girl gets. In a chaotic time like that, a child of religion might be the most calm out of everyone - believing that God will come down to save everybody. You captured that grim reality, but also that blind faith from the mother with "God has a different plan."

What I like the most about this piece is that it is what it is. The child is trying to impose symbolism and metaphors, but in the end, it's just a hurricane destroying homes and lives and people trying to survive.

[Gerald Parker]

Given your base in CA, I suspect that you were not present at this cataclysmic event but you have imagined it? Fine, a strong piece of writing, but, it's harsh of me, it's not all poetry, more of prose account, and that's fine, too. 'Soldiers of the rapture' - that's interesting - rapture, not soldiers of the rape? Rapture in the religious sense? I need help here.

[anamezic]

Rapture in the religious sense. The entire poem is a metaphor for denouncing your faith. The little girl sees the hurricane as "the rapture" but believes she will be saved by god, in her ark (the minivan), but in the end it drifts and she is not saved.

[Gerald Parker]

OK but there's saved and there's saved.

[Kristin Lee]

WOW. There is such power in this. I cannot imagine what you must have went through. I love the parallels that you draw to the ark, God's wrath and God's plan. The use of imagery is astounding. Talking about how not all the animals will fit in the van, and then the van floats by...just WOW. I'm stunned. Thank you for sharing this. This was very touching.