The Theory of Mr Right.

Over the past decade, there has been an increase in the number of relationships that fail. It's also a well known fact that fewer people are getting married. Pretty soon, in about twenty years time, there will be a whole generation of us, who go about on our own because we were 'too busy' or otherwise engaged to make a lasting relationship.

And then what?

My name is Patty Burns. I'm thirtyfour, single, and I work as a secretary in England. You might say I'm the kind of girl who has it all. I'm succesfull, I own my own home, my own car. But I also have something else which is less desirable than the latter. I have a whole string of failed relationships, one after the other. And a mom who nags me constantly with questions like "when do I plan to settle down?"

At my time of life, I'm pretty worried that I have to think about stuff like that. Now as I have a succesfull career and everything I wanted to attain, then whatever I else I want- should just be there; right?

Sometimes, things don't turn out the way you'd expect.

I've reached a certain stage where I'm starting to question my whole purpose in life. I mean; I'm familiar with many of the theories on how the universe works. But when it comes to simple things, like getting a man, none of that seems to help.

What is it that people look for in their 'ideal partner?' Is it looks, morals, loyalty... education maybe? I suppose to all people it can be many different things, depending on their lifestyle or how they were brought up.

Then there's this whole business of getting to know what they're about. What kind of things do they like, or not. With my busy schedule, I wonder when I will get time for that.

I remember once I'd been dating this guy for ages, about five months. I thought I knew everything about him and nothing was gonna convince me otherwise. Until eventually, I let him spend the night at my place. Everything went great, until the day after, when we went down stairs to breakfast. I made some egg on toast, when he asked me whether I had any jam to go with it. I just stared at him. I mean, is it even possible for somebody to like such a concoction? Eww! After that, I could never look him in the eye again.

Sometimes, even when we've found what we are looking for, all of a sudden, we have the realisation that the time isn't right or we want something different.

Take my friend Betty as a good example. All she ever wanted to do was get married. She went from one person right to the next, each time just hoping she would find 'Mr Right. Although, her standards were way to high, we were all pretty sure that no guy could ever match them; until one time she met someone who was just like her. He was witty and passionate about everything; they had the same interests,- he had a good job. Hell, they even had the same laugh! One day she said to me "That's him, that's the man of my dreams." So I asked her you know, "do you plan to marry this guy and settle down?" She paused for a moment, and then she turned to me and said "Patty, if I was to marry that man, my life would get way too complicated. I want to have some fun first. For a start, I would have to adjust to his way of life, then settle down, learn how to cook and get fat. I just don't feel I'm ready for that kind of a commitment yet."

I gazed at her in astonishment. Although I didn't totally agree with her way of thinking... in the end I could only conclude that she was in fact right.

Life shouldn't be about constantly looking for 'the one,' or trying to get laid in the meantime. Far from it. It's about doing what you want and when you want... before it's too late!


Approximately different

As a species, we each have a basic layer which is needed for the classification of our 'being' on this planet.  In other words- we all have a "fundamental likeness"  with which each can identify, for instance; we eat, we drink and we breathe the same air.  But this "likeness" also extends to the metaphysical, i.e. we all have dreams; we all have a need for human interaction; all of us- throughout our lives, strive to find a definition between the physical and metaphysical; but, what exists in reality, and what exists in the human mind, varies from one person to the next.

When I think of the human brain- I think diversity- a mini universe all of it's own.

How do we explain then, the coincidence of having a soulmate? Someone we know inside out; share the same feelings with, have the same interests.

If I was to study a flower (just for example) very quickly I discover that the look and texture are all to my liking;- but then I ask somebody else to study it and express to me their thoughts- normally I would find that they like it too, but; the difference in how we percieve and how we will recall that moment leaves something only to the imagination.

This is what I describe as being- "approximately different."

July 3rd, 1997.

Myself and a friend of mine, Claire, met up for coffee at a bar in Widnes. We were just sat chatting, when suddenly she noticed a guy who took the seat opposite. He began to order something from the menu; they peered up and in an instant their eyes were fixed on each other. His hair was shoulder length, jet black and flowed from his brow as he flicked it back occasionally; his features were sharp and symmetrical, and huge biceps bulged from his tight-fitting shirt. I can recall looking at both of them as they- in turn glanced at each other;- It was at that moment when I realised they both held something in common; he thought he was great- and she thought so too.

Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This is ridiculous! lol. I swear I feel like shes sitting here talking to me. You did a wonderful job of bringing this woman to life. I love the way she rationalizes everything. I've grown attached to this character.

[R J Askew]

I am Ron Askew, 50 something married with 3 kids. And I feel increasingly unusual in that I am married, and married but the once. It is sad to have to say this simply because so many kids have complex and confusing parental backgrounds now. It is arguable whether monogomy, marriage and the nuclear family are good models. But I for one wld hate to have a portfolio of my mother's 'boyfriends' as my father figure. The scope for abuse increases. And there is no way I wld feel the same about another man's kids were I a floating father. So you put your finger on a key trend. Studies suggest that Beta males are better mates, have more children, and are more likely to stick around than Alpha males, who often have a queue of women after them. And as you know women are at there best for childbearing when they are about 18-28. But we all live exciting, varied lives now. Seek a Beta male who is comfortable in his own skin and does something interesting which he loves. Avoid alpha males like the plague. And re-examine 'what you want when you want' perhaps. Eeeeek, I sound like an old git now ... exit review stage right ... >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>