Crucified...

Oh! Christ,

I was marching with the torch of Truth,

Burning Bright,

Convincing the coterie.

And they shunned Me.

I was Crucified...

Oh! Christ,

I was wading in my dreams

Through the tunnel of Aspirations,

Eyeing the Zenith.

And the reality killed Me.

I was Crucified...

Oh! Christ,

I swooned over Women and Wine,

Fell prey to materialism,

To suffice the mortal desires.

And It eternally left Me.

I was crucified...

Oh! Christ,

I Broke the shackles of Me,

Burdened the humanity on my toes,

In quest of peace and soul.

And the history betrayed Me.

I was crucified...

Oh! Christ,

I know why thou Lord, You

And Me were Crucified.

I tread the Path My Heart said.

And thou Lord, You

Tread the Path the God Laid.

And the World Blinded It.

We were Crucified...

02 Feb 2007, by Abhilash Hegde

Reviews

[Beren]

im speechless. How cleverly, successfully and spiritually written. There is a holy message in every line. talking about important places in religious history and then saying "And the history betrayed Me." The fact that every "Me" starts with a capital letter gains a very big meaning in the end.

HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME THAT YOU ARE A GREAT POET? I thought you only wrote about pants falling off without belts. This is a huge betrayal. I'll let them crucify you.

I am not even at the level to comment on your poems, I will just leave my support. Can you leave me an autograph? thanks i am a fan

[A.H.]

This poem is about realizing that although the path of truth, sacrifice, selflessness, goodness is treacherous, we must still strive to be on that path to ultimately better ourselves. In the process, we might get Crucified but atleast we would have had the satisfaction of leading a worthwhile life that counted for something. yes, true this write is somewhat spiritual and delves into exploring the self. Also, I was experimenting with the structure of this write, where I could juxtapose and draw parallels to find insights and meanings from the past history.

You’re too kind with your words here! Honestly, I don't know what to say. Haha, may be I'm just the writer with falling off pants without belts. lol, jokes aside, I truly appreciate your kind words, support and encouragement for my work.

And, c'mon, you're doing just as great writing your heart and mind! you have a keen eye for perspectives, an insightful way of reading and encouraging the writers on this cafe. That's truly heartwarming. Thank you for that and be that amazing presence always.

[Beren]

It’s even more meaningful when you talk about your own work… thank you for your time.
read moreIt’s even more meaningful when you talk about your own work… thank you for your time.

So is that means I can have a autograph?

[A.H.]

Thank you for appreciating my work, that means a lot.

Your autograph is on its way! :)
Though I have to admit, this feels a little bit embarrassing ...

[Beren]

Okay. You don’t have to do anything you don’t feel safe. I just like your work, and want you to be happy!

[A.H.]

Oh no, I didn’t mean that! Sorry if it came across the wrong way. It honestly makes me happy to know my writing resonates with you. Thank you so much for that.

[alanwgraham]

This is incredibly intense. I guess that there is a lot of personal stuff in there. From your poem its hard to tell whether it reflects your own religious beliefs or it is simply a a work of fiction. Is it significant that you use a capital letter for Me (and certain other words) ? I thought your repetitive structure gives the piece a real religious feel - very good! There area few lines that don't work for me such as 'Burdened the humanity on my toes' - what does it mean? I'm not sure what the last verse is really saying. Is the poem about following the way of Christ. It sounds like you are crucified for following he path of your heart. I may be wrong but is that the message of Christianity - is christ not the saviour?
Apologies if I am reading too much into your work but it is because it is worthy of a serious review.
Keep up your writing!
Alan
If you have any time would you please look at my story called 'Matryoshka - Russian doll' - I will warn you - it is very dark! (it's on the 4th page).

[A.H.]

I read this review carefully and it deserves a well thought out response. I have been a bit late on responding to the review, my bad!
At the outset, this write is a work of fiction. And, I'm not sure if I qualify to write anything on religious matters but certainly that wasn't my intent.
Yes, I have the *Capital letter* intentionally, just the structure of the write.
'Burdened the humanity on my toes' - is a mere reference, it's meant to signify that the "I" here has lived his life for the good of others and shared their burden as if they were his own.
For here, I'm not questioning the message of Christianity. I'm drawing a reference to 'Christ' and try to find parallels to the life we live in this world.
The whole structure of the poem is based on juxtaposition. Drawing parallels and displaying side-by-side how "I" perceives himself in the way of 'Christ'
This poem is all about, how we may stray from the path of 'truth, sacrifice, selflessness, goodness' due to cruel ways of the world. It takes a lot of strength to be not disheartened and follow the path of True righteousness. That's the point I intend to make through this write.
The references to 'Christ' are made here to draw strength from all HIS goodness and HIS experiences. However, at times "I" perceives the injustice and finds solace through the life of 'Christ'.

I will definitely spend sometime on your write and share my thoughts :)
I appreciate you sharing such pertinent thoughts on this write. Thanks so much Alan, for your insights :)

[alanwgraham]

Thanks for taking the time for this. My mistake is often to take a piece of writing too literally!read moreThanks for taking the time for this. My mistake is often to take a piece of writing too literally!
Alan

[alanwgraham]

Apologies - I've no idea how the last part of that message got garbled!
Thanks again,
Alan

[A.H.]

Oh! no. not at all. Alan, I think you had great insights here... I truly value it! Thanks so much :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes we just can't find our way, no matter what we do in life, trying to tread the right lines there will be opposers...those who see us in negative light and bash us for it...crucify, as your poem says---

kind of proves that we have to sometimes reach the worst in order to stretch ourselves to the best...

j.

[A.H.]

very nicely put through. I'm glad to hear your thoughts on this one.
Thanks Jacob, for dropping by and leaving a review :)