i was the one

I try keep my eyes always open for you because before I was always asleep

at noon and up at two.

I still remember the sound of your voice so clear,

baby why are you never here?

You said it so soft,

so quiet,

making sure no one else would ever hear.

I was addicted to the loud houses of people who were all predicted to be

bottles of Whiskey and bags of mystery.

But baby, oh baby, I promise I'll change.

Remember the long walks and the deep talks that made us leap into the deep unknown

we later called love! 

You were 18, 

in and out of jail sending letters in the mail, 

walking a path you thought would lead you up, but only went down.

I remember the next time you went to jail. 

I was at a party waiting for your name to pop up as a text

when SHE said oh he's probably next to a cop in the shop. 

She, was right.

That was the start of what was thought to be the end. 

I fell in love with the messy writing and the rules we would always bend. 

On the phone I was your mom who they would not shun.

5 minutes to 10 minutes,

days to weekends,

more and more time we spent together, 

so much I started to rhyme.

But in time things went from a nine to a below freezing,

in my steps hoping you would never see me because I was a mess. 

Until one day you left, 

and I no longer understood the rhyme

I had to say

to stay away 

from the bay

where you lay 

making it impossible for me to say, 

please stay.

I have been the one who has loved you all along.