A Day Without Computer games

This is a poem about a single day of a computer addict. Let's see what he discovers new in the absence of computer games.

A DAY WITHOUT COMPUTER GAMES

It was so early when I -

woke up from my bed.

For 8 hours I have been waiting -

to switch on my computer.

Without even taking bath 

I sat in front of my PC.

I spent that day with my PC

by playing games and more.

Need For Speed , Grand Theft Auto,

Total Overdose, Prince of Persia.

Driving cars and Killing enemies,

Sword attack and Combo list.

Without talking to anyone

I became Blacklist No.1.

The next day, I woke up early

But my PC wasn't good.

So I went up to the balcony

And just sat there like a cat.

But when my eyes took a -

Flight to the zenith

I saw the reddish sky.

One or two stars were seen

but everywhere else was red.

As the dial turns round and round

The sun rose up from the horizon.

Reddish colour was disappearing

or transforming to blue.

Now, it is blue - blue everywhere.

Not dark blue, light blue, aqua blue

Everywhere was sky blue.

At first just there was blue only, but -

something came out of the blue.

Clouds…white foggy cloud …

It was like an elephant, no no ,

an angel or a beast , I don’t know

How could I say that ? because

It was making shapes of its own.

The sun is now above my head

Up in the zenith,  firing his fire bullets.

Dazzling light of the sun

Made me blind - literally.

But my eyes were tired so

I gave them a rest for a while.

The sky was once again red

when my eyes woke up from sleep.

red -not blood red , it was

evening red,  red as evening sun.

The sun’s one day’s journey

Ended there, handing over

his job to the moon.

The moon- half naked, half

concealed with black curtain

like a boat it floated in the sky.

Its light was not enough

for this dark…black night.

There was no dazzling light

only a cool moonlight.

Stars as a dust spread over -

the dark grey sky , it was no longer grey.

It is black now… Black everywhere.

Tiny dots of stars twinkled at me.

The half faced moon smiled at me.

I don’t know why but they were

all looking at me………

Birds were flying away……

Yellow dead leaves were falling 

down in the western wind.

The machine bird went on cutting

the silence of the night by its groaning ….

After all ….it was silence…..

Dead silence…..

Nature is in sleep….world is in sleep

It's time to sleep, I’m in sleep………..

I don’t know what will I choose 

Computer game or the sky.

Really I was in sleep till now -

In deep sleep…….

It’s time to wake up to 

A new world - my own world.

* * * * *

Author's Note

My first poem in English.

Reviews

[Jennie Baron]

A unique idea and beautiful images. Yes, you may have strayed a little from the theme of video games, but beautiful just the same. I'm impressed with your first poem in English. One suggestion, and it's a very small thing, is to make the verb tense consistent throughout. Also, since the English is so good elsewhere, line 5, "without even taking bath," should be "without even taking a bath," since the article is required here. Very nice write!

[The ArK]

Thank u Jennie. Glad that u liked my first poem...... :)

[Jennie Baron]

You're very welcome. I'm happy to read your poetry anytime, just send me a RR.

[Thea]

Well, that was very unique! And I can somehow understand the fact that yes, computer games have this strong influence to us. I remember myself getting so addicted with online games. LMAO. This poem reminded me of it. What a very nice work. I liked it.

[Penny]

Can't believe its your ffirst poem. Beautiful almost pictorial depiction though you missed the theme somewhere (about computer games) but its all good if a poem is so amazing. Keep writing like this.

[Nena]

I liked the description of the night the most :)

[Eric Pudalov]

If this is your first poem in English, ARK, I'm highly impressed! Especially because, as I understand it, the languages that you've grown up with are probably quite different.

I can relate to being rather "hooked" on the computer...perhaps not games, necessarily, but just the internet in general. It can be very liberating to just enjoy nature, or to read or write.

And again, I give you kudos for your imaginative descriptions, especially in verses like: "But when my eyes took a/flight to the Zenith/I saw the reddish sky." That alone conjured all kinds of poetic images in my mind.

The lines "The moon half naked half/concealed with black curtain/like a boat it floated in the sky." I must say, I'm normally very critical with grammar and cliches, and things like that - but because this is your first poem in English, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

The only "technical" critique I might offer is that it looks as though you copied and pasted the poem out of another program. In some spots where there are (") - it looks like there were supposed to be dashes or commas.

For example, in the line 'But when my eyes took a " ' - there's a quote at the end. Of course, you don't have to change it, but I might suggest going through it again and finding those spots to fix it up a bit.

Overall, I think it's amazing!!

[The ArK]

Thanks Eric, for pointing out the "technical" error. And I'm honored by your review.

[Utkarsh Singh]

dude ur frst para matches my daily schedule of summer holidays ......u make me remember ma sweet summer holidays .luved it very much .gud one

[The ArK]

thnx dude. That was my holiday shedule too.

[Utkarsh Singh]

i think every indian teenager have the same schedule....

[Rachelle]

What? No Minecraft? Tekken, Assassin's Creed and CoD?
Seriously, though, gamers need to get a life and… some sunshine. Vitamin D can't manufacture itself.

This piece resonates, ARK. Gamers also have to discover that there is a world out there beyond the screen.

….. but Minecraft always lures me back…..