And that was how...

10/23/13

 

 

Oh, child...

Has anybody told you a tale of a love once true?

 

 

 

 

Well, it all began one summer

in a coffee shop next town.

It was Friday. It was sunset.

She was writing. He was smiling...

And that was how I met your father.

 

 

Every Friday sunset, we went to the cafe.

In between cappucinos and chocolate cookies,

we smiled and talked

and laughed and dreamed...

And that was how I loved your father.

 

 

Then came winter Fridays

but he still had his summer smile.

I was sure he was "The One"

so I introduced him to my best friend...

And that was how I lost your father.

Author's Note

It's been more than a week since I last wrote a poem. I've been very busy in school these past few days...

This is my first draft.. I think I somehow had forgotten the art of editing... But I like it the way it is so...put up with it. Haha.

Anyway, thanks for reading! :)

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

i like it a lot ... the turn is spot on .. a perspective i would not ever think of.. and the pic is perfect
E.

[FlatLineBeauty]

Wow... all I can say is ouch! Some friend! I loved it though. xo Winter

[Kate H]

Wow....I'm not even quite sure what to say here....it's a very good piece, to say the least. It's most definitely breath taking. Great job!

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

And that was how you moved me with this piece, Blue. This poem somehow reveals a sad love story which is now playing in my mind. My imagination is dominating somehow...

It's really painful when what is happening is different from what we expect. We learn to trust, to admire or to love, but sometimes it needs careful identification of the person who really worth it.

"She was writing. He was smiling...
And that was how I met your father."---I just thought it's better to be consistent in using the first person point of view (She to I). LOL. Just a suggestion. You're still the master of your poem.

I like how you end this piece.

BTW, I hope you're through with your demo-teaching with the best result.

Smile always!

[Keith LaFountaine]

Darkly romantic, with sadness injected expertly. Nice work!

[rutherford]

A true slice of romance. Wonderful scenery in the coffee shop.

[Emerald Seas]

Such a sweet beginning and the twist leaves a moment of speechlessness. Tragic
Well written!

[Mike Emil]

like this
despite the lack of brandy
or irish coffee
HAI!!!

[I Am Svetlana]

It's scary to have to lose the ones closest to us in the simplest of ways. We never bother to think of the bad that might come from it because we believe the ones with us would know better and respect us enough. But some men, sadly, can be fooled and led into temptation in ways we women really won't understand. Men play love a different way and see everywhere as a hunting ground for potential. Sad, but too true! Thanks for sharing!

[Eddie Davis]

Nice twist of plot at the end, very neatly controlled to surprise us.