I thought...

11/25/13

I thought...

 

 

I thought God was an old man

with a long white beard

stranded in the vast unknown

of what mortals believe to be heaven,

always watching, always judging,

weighing offenses against the scale of righteousness.

 

I thought poems had to rhyme

and songs were meant to be sung dramatically

so I silenced the unwritten melodies in me

in the chasm of insignificance

and I conformed my voice

to the dissonant noise of the crowd.

 

I thought wisdom was contained

in the pages of books

with the imprint of revered geniuses

so I spent most of my waking hours

in the private world of words

leaving behind uninteresting realities.

 

I thought happiness could be achieved

by pleasing universal eyes

so I shaped myself

to the stereotypes of society,

nameless, voiceless,

and was manipulated like a puppet.

 

I thought love was a fairytale

(and there's nothing more cliche than that)

so I allowed my fantasies to reign

and kissed more than a dozen frogs

in the vain pursuit

of a Disneylike romance.

 

I thought I was a nobody,

never amounting to anything much,

so I repressed my golden dreams

and I lived not to my potentials,

not knowing that in the process,

I lost opportunities and I lost myself.

 

I thought just because things made sense

they were absolute truths

governing the existence of humanity

so I lived my life in ignorance,

breathing lies and feasting upon misconceptions...

just like everybody else.

Author's Note

I'm sick of all the lies.

Reviews

[NeiL ArandA]

Thanks Blue for the second read request. You have finally achieved your dream of writing a free verse. You have far exceeded my expectations here. Everything flows and not just that. The meaning and the thoughts conveyed was profoundly deep. I can tell that you've put a lot of deep thought on this piece.

1st stanza " I thought God was an old man " ... Perhaps just like what Greek mythology portrayed in a person of Zeus. A god sitting in a stone throne. Eating grapes and drinking nectar. Distant and disengage from the cares and affairs of mankind. And when humans mess up, he sends lightning bolts and natural calamities until his anger is quenched. Release the Kraken!
Well this is exactly the opposite of what the God of the Bible did. He came into this world and pitched His tent among us. He left His glorious realm in heaven and identified Himself among us.
2nd stanza " I thought poems had to rhyme " ... Well don't we all think so ? then along came Haiku, Senryu, Tanka and Free Verse ...
3nd stanza " I thought wisdom was contained in the pages of books" ... Its amazing that you have already asked and thought about this word. How I wish I could get a book to acquire wisdom. Solomon was the wisest person that lived the face of the earth. His wisdom was second only to Jesus Christ. Yet Solomon did not go to prestigious school or university to acquire it. It was handed to him by God in a silver plate.
Who told him that was the best request to ask from God ? His father King David must have told him so.
4th stanza " I thought happiness could be achieved" ...There's a wise saying that no matter how hard you try. You just can't please everybody.
5th stanza " I thought love was a fairytale " ... Yes that is why Hollywood makes plenty of money . Titanic made a record box office hit. They turned a national tragedy into romantic story and it was a hit ! And don't we all love happy ending ? But love is not pure fantasy. Its work, marriage or any relationship is work. Love is sacrificial. Love at its highest level always look at the greatest interest or greater good of others . The best thing in life whether its a job, relationship, someone or something is not easily obtained without effort. Love is such an overused words. It takes effort and if its not, then its cheap love.
6th stanza " I thought I was a nobody " ... I would answer this stanza with a question. Who am I ? Why I am here ? What's my purpose ? ... If God created us to be a nobody then we might just as well be a grass or a plankton.
7th stanza " I thought just because things made sense they were absolute truths " ... Ah very clever of you. You have pondered the idea of absolute truth. You ever wondered why there's so many different religious denominations ? Somehow society has embrace the idea of relativism and discarded the fact that their is absolute truth. Why its so ? If we do believe and accept that there is such. Then we're afraid that we will have to answer and be accountable to Someone higher than us .

[Blue]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! You really know what you are doing! Your reviews are pleasurable and insightful to read!

[NeiL ArandA]

So you finally got the chance and the time to read this because of your busy school schedule. Hope I have inspired you. You also write religious poems . Please keep going !

[joshua deathdealer]

This is brilliant. Touching on the many questions and showing the wisdom of an artist. I absolutely adore this poem!! xx

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thanks,Joshua. :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

amen to that...all the lies and stereotypes we are supposed to live up to...

and if we end up living our lives too scared that we will disappoint...we become stagnant and waste our lives.

we need to ignore the expectations of others and just live up to our own.

a really well penned piece...with very keen insight.

jacob

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

You had me at your words of wisdom,Jacob... Thank you for your beautiful words. :)

[gabrielle]

we live in a world that sets standards in almost everything but we are given wisdom and reason to know whether the standard set by man would be good for us or not. spoken so eloquently, blue.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

True. Thanks a lot, Gabrielle. :)

[costa siwale]

Blue! You should never stop writing, you have inspired me to view things differently with this poem, am glad you wrote this poem

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Costa, thank you for reviewing my works.People like you inspire me to continue my craft. Best wishes. :)

[costa siwale]

You very much welcome

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

This poem is an absolute treasure. It bespeaks the inner turmoil of one who has conformed to society, one who has been a follower instead of trailblazer, who has looked back in regret over all the missed opportunities in life. The words are poignant and true, ringing clearer than a bell.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

One of the best compliments I received for this piece. Thank you for that,Linda. :)

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

You're very welcome. I lived this poem up until I was 28 years old. One day, I just realized that I was sick and tired of trying to please everyone else, which only resulted in them being happy and me being miserable. I decided I was going to aim to make me happy from now on, and I have been much happier ever since. I grew up trying to please a very critical, emotionally insecure, and abusive mother who did not have the ability to love. As a child, I was always trying to please her, to evoke that small semblance of love that I never received. This carried over into adulthood with the net total of love received being zero. Being a giver in a sea of takers will only leave you empty; and when you have nothing left to offer, they just walk away. I think the earlier that lesson is learned the better.

[Bob Sherunkle]

That was beautifully written Blue.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Aww, Bob. Thank you. :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

This is awesome!!!!!We change the things that we believe because the masses say we should.Bending to accomodate society's idea of what is truth.You have written a truly lovely poem.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Vidya, thank you so much! :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are most welcome

[Anita Singh]

I loved reading your poem. Truly, we have preclaimed notions in our mind about many things but in reality, when they turn out to be different we feel disappointed and disheartened. Each and every word made sense to me. Well composed! :-)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you so much, Annabella. Nice to hear these kind words from you. :)

[aneeqa]

Ooooooooh dear, I feel like u have jxt placed a mirror before me...... great work.... the great thing is dat de inspiration behind ur writing is experiences of life to which everyone cn relate..... really appreciable :).... well done

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

I'm glad you can relate, too. Thank you for telling me your thoughts, Aneeqa. :)

[aneeqa]

Ur welcome...