I thought...

11/25/13

I thought...

 

 

I thought God was an old man

with a long white beard

stranded in the vast unknown

of what mortals believe to be heaven,

always watching, always judging,

weighing offenses against the scale of righteousness.

 

I thought poems had to rhyme

and songs were meant to be sung dramatically

so I silenced the unwritten melodies in me

in the chasm of insignificance

and I conformed my voice

to the dissonant noise of the crowd.

 

I thought wisdom was contained

in the pages of books

with the imprint of revered geniuses

so I spent most of my waking hours

in the private world of words

leaving behind uninteresting realities.

 

I thought happiness could be achieved

by pleasing universal eyes

so I shaped myself

to the stereotypes of society,

nameless, voiceless,

and was manipulated like a puppet.

 

I thought love was a fairytale

(and there's nothing more cliche than that)

so I allowed my fantasies to reign

and kissed more than a dozen frogs

in the vain pursuit

of a Disneylike romance.

 

I thought I was a nobody,

never amounting to anything much,

so I repressed my golden dreams

and I lived not to my potentials,

not knowing that in the process,

I lost opportunities and I lost myself.

 

I thought just because things made sense

they were absolute truths

governing the existence of humanity

so I lived my life in ignorance,

breathing lies and feasting upon misconceptions...

just like everybody else.

Author's Note

I'm sick of all the lies.

Reviews

[NeiL ArandA]

Thanks Blue for the second read request. You have finally achieved your dream of writing a free verse. You have far exceeded my expectations here. Everything flows and not just that. The meaning and the thoughts conveyed was profoundly deep. I can tell that you've put a lot of deep thought on this piece.

1st stanza " I thought God was an old man " ... Perhaps just like what Greek mythology portrayed in a person of Zeus. A god sitting in a stone throne. Eating grapes and drinking nectar. Distant and disengage from the cares and affairs of mankind. And when humans mess up, he sends lightning bolts and natural calamities until his anger is quenched. Release the Kraken!
Well this is exactly the opposite of what the God of the Bible did. He came into this world and pitched His tent among us. He left His glorious realm in heaven and identified Himself among us.
2nd stanza " I thought poems had to rhyme " ... Well don't we all think so ? then along came Haiku, Senryu, Tanka and Free Verse ...
3nd stanza " I thought wisdom was contained in the pages of books" ... Its amazing that you have already asked and thought about this word. How I wish I could get a book to acquire wisdom. Solomon was the wisest person that lived the face of the earth. His wisdom was second only to Jesus Christ. Yet Solomon did not go to prestigious school or university to acquire it. It was handed to him by God in a silver plate.
Who told him that was the best request to ask from God ? His father King David must have told him so.
4th stanza " I thought happiness could be achieved" ...There's a wise saying that no matter how hard you try. You just can't please everybody.
5th stanza " I thought love was a fairytale " ... Yes that is why Hollywood makes plenty of money . Titanic made a record box office hit. They turned a national tragedy into romantic story and it was a hit ! And don't we all love happy ending ? But love is not pure fantasy. Its work, marriage or any relationship is work. Love is sacrificial. Love at its highest level always look at the greatest interest or greater good of others . The best thing in life whether its a job, relationship, someone or something is not easily obtained without effort. Love is such an overused words. It takes effort and if its not, then its cheap love.
6th stanza " I thought I was a nobody " ... I would answer this stanza with a question. Who am I ? Why I am here ? What's my purpose ? ... If God created us to be a nobody then we might just as well be a grass or a plankton.
7th stanza " I thought just because things made sense they were absolute truths " ... Ah very clever of you. You have pondered the idea of absolute truth. You ever wondered why there's so many different religious denominations ? Somehow society has embrace the idea of relativism and discarded the fact that their is absolute truth. Why its so ? If we do believe and accept that there is such. Then we're afraid that we will have to answer and be accountable to Someone higher than us .

[Blue]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! You really know what you are doing! Your reviews are pleasurable and insightful to read!

[NeiL ArandA]

So you finally got the chance and the time to read this because of your busy school schedule. Hope I have inspired you. You also write religious poems . Please keep going !

[NeiL ArandA]

This is very nice. I could not even muster to penned such words. You have a vocabulary of a professor .

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Wow. To be equaled to a professor is SOMETHING. Thank you, thank you. :)

[Cassie]

This is extremely beautiful, I loved loved it. I also thought so about love and have kissed so many frogs along the way. Absolutely beautiful.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Many thanks, Cassie. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

There is no real truth or real lies. It is where you are standing. I believe we must live our life and hope we walk the good road and was kind. With old age. I look at the world with different eyes. I believe young people need to dream. Need to test life. You must learn the truth from a lie. I enjoyed the poem. I told my kids travel, have fun and test life. Life is hard work. Need to be young and hopeful as long as possible. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Coyote, stunning. Your review is stunning. I learned a lot from it. Thank you so much. :)

[Catherine Frain]

This is a good way of expressing what is "true" and what we are to expect with it. Marvelous job Blue. :D

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you, Katie. :)

[Pryde Foltz]

The lie blue is the overriding one of which this poem exposes with immense insight … there is no simple right and wrong; there is no one way of doing; the world is full of ironies; the best we can do is accept that and do the best we can all the same. Most excellent write.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Insightful review, Pryde. Thank you for the enlightenment. :)

[Eddie Davis]

It is amazing how we are strongly encouraged to conform to what people tell us the truth is, and most don't question or dare to rebel. The news media is probably the worst, for they tell us how to feel when something happens, who to love and who to villainize. Certainly there are universal truths, but these truths are best discovered rather than explained.

As usual you have expressed yourself flawlessly, Blue. The poem reminds me both of Super Tramp's 'Logical Song' and the book of Ecclesiastes. 'Meaningless, meaningless; everything is meaningless, says the teacher.'. It is a symptom of increasing wisdom, believe me. You'll go from 'I thought' to 'I know'. A perfect poem.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you, Eddie. I appreciate your reference to Ecclesiastes. :)

[Matt Sayer]

This is fantastic. From birth we are told by others how to behave, how to think, how to dream. Too many people take that as gospel, and never strike out to explore the contradictions of their own heart. You've eloquently expressed the nature of this situation, and the flaws of social stigma and moral guidelines resonates so effectively through your words. Just brilliant :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Wonderful review, Matt. Thank you so much. :)

[Laura Harrison]

This is a very strong and emotional write. I think that everybody thinks they need to live up to the standards set to us by society, but I think we should just be ourselves. I really enjoyed reading this, Blue :)

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

You have summed it up in accurate sentence, thank you so much! :)

[sonnie ibadah]

this is trully amazing...something i can relate to...

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Thank you, Sonnie. :)

[sonnie ibadah]

ur welcome :)