A Chapter by ashesonfire

Tezcatlipoca: Walking with Jaguars

"When an Aztec god wants you for a mate... He will do anything to have you"

The forest was always her sanctuary.

The fresh early morning dew clung to the leaves for dear life, at risk of cascading to the earth to their inevitable demise.  First morning light broke through the treetops, creating a prism of colors through the droplets.

Circe Kasmir's bare feet squished lightly on the soft wet grass, tickling between her toes.  She wasn't sure where she was going, but something kept her legs moving onward.  She could not remember how she had gotten there, but the place was familiar enough, that she was not concerned.

The underbrush had worn away in familiar paths, where both people and wildlife traveled.  Thick pines reached high and tall towards the pink sky, and birds were starting to sing their first song of the day.

Circe made sure to step onto the logs, and not directly over; something she had learned long ago in order to avoid snake bites.  mulberry bushes were just starting to bloom, and she ran her fingertips over the soft white buds.

Keep Walking.

Something in her head told her.  She obeyed without question; very unlike her.

Cihuātlàtoāni to my Tlàtoāni.

Circe's foot snapped a twig in two, startled by a voice in her head, the twig making a loud popping noise.  The birds suddenly stopped their persistent singing, animals stopped rustling through the treetops, and Circe noticed even the wind had stopped blowing.

She noticed she was no longer in a familiar forest, but now surrounded by trees unfamiliar to her.  The humidity was thicker, the trees taller.  Was she in a rainforest?  No, but something different than the forest she was from.

The silence was eerie.

So much so that momentarily Circe questioned whether or not she had temporarily lost her hearing.  That was until she heard a soft padding directionally in front of her.

Hazel eyes stared forwards to meet yellow slitted eyes that belonged to what was unmistakingly an enormous spotted jaguar.

It was uncommon; although, not unheard of, to hear sightings of the creatures this far north of the border, though she remembered she was no longer in her own home.  Regardless, there was something very different about him.  He was larger than any jaguar should be: almost twice as large.  His gleaming yellow eyes watched her with an intelligence that no animal possessed.

Circe should have been terrified in the presence of such a large magnificent beast, but instead, she felt a sense of calm, as if a blanket of protection was wrapped around her.

A deep voice boomed inside her head as the jaguar approached her.

You are the one.  

Then it bit her, hard, right on her collarbone.

© 2014 ashesonfire

Author's Note

Mmmm.. not 100% pleased with it, but this story is a huge work in progress. The idea is not fully formed yet. I hope you guys enjoy the start to what I hope will be an interesting story full of mythology :D

My Review

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I think this is a good start! I realize now that you posted this two years ago... have you continued with it? Are you still looking for feedback?

There's some great imagery here. I love the personification of the dew drops—maybe a tone issue, though? "Clinging for dear life," "inevitable demise," -- these kind of counter the idea of a sanctuary.

I also love the unique setting. I haven’t come across too many books centered around Aztec culture, so I’m intrigued on that level alone to read something new.

You explain the strangeness of her sense of calm about the jaguar so that’s fine, but what about her reaction to finding herself suddenly transported to a different forest?

I'm a mythology nerd, so I'm definitely intrigued by this. I hope you continue with it!

Posted 3 Years Ago


3 Years Ago

Thank you! I just moved, so I was going through my notes today and organized a folder with my mythol.. read more
One mistake that I spotted... Circe came across the jaguar, but in the paragraph following that you said it was larger than a 'leopard' should be. So, did she come across a leopard or a jaguar? Oh and also when she sees the jaguar you have it capitalized and it should be lowercase... unless you are referring to the car? Haha.

Your descriptions are very vivid and I felt as if I were walking through the forest with Circe. I hope you continue with this story, because I'm very intrigued.


Posted 6 Years Ago


6 Years Ago

Ah thanks!

In the original story I made with these two, Dominic was a leopard, and when.. read more
This opening reminds of a manga I read once. Only, the main character was marked to be claimed by a demon. Looking good so far.

Posted 6 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Anna L

6 Years Ago

Lmao! :D

I've read them all! I own eight volumes of Black Bird. The one with the tengu .. read more

6 Years Ago

Haha! That's hilarious. I really like Black Bird so far, yes the one with the tengu.

I.. read more
Anna L

6 Years Ago

Hot Gimmick kind of gets frustrating at some points. If you read and loved Boys Over Flowers, you mi.. read more

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3 Reviews
Added on June 4, 2014
Last Updated on June 7, 2014
Tags: tezcatlipoca, indian, native, american, mexico, texas, modern, ancient, aztec, mythology, fantasy, romance, love, jaguars




I grew up in Texas, lived in Illinois for 2 years, and just moved to Kansas City :D I'm 24, married, with two dogs. I love rock music, I knit and crochet, and love movies of all types. I can be .. more..