Slowly Unravel

In the process of peeling his layers

He hoped he’d find something in there

First he shed the layer of Ego

Then his Fear, trembling, with slow steps

Then his Anger, with his fist clenched

Then Hurt, slowly so he would not further tease it

Then Sorrow showed itself

He wiped it too with a big sigh

There in the core

He stood alone

In contempt

Because there was nothing

But a big hollow space of emptiness

He wept, he wailed

Every emotion raised their hands

Failed to give him strength

And Love was nowhere to be found

Suddenly in bemusement he shifts his sight

He hears something was still there

Alas! What does he find?

A child gasping for breath

He asks “who are you?!”

The reply was “I am Innocence”.

Reviews

[SpokenWord]

LOL oh I love this poem, and I thought he would find love but in truth it is innocence burred under all the junk we put on top of it holding them with more value than innocence itself. It is hard to let go of fear and insecurities to allow our true self to shine through, too easy to put on a mask and hide or pretend to be something we are not. Wonderful write!

[Joiedevivre]

Excellent poem. It speaks to me in the language of growth loss and spirituality. Made me think!

[Diane ♥ Kay]

very well written! how cute to end with the beginning :)

[sushi]

Lovely....

U left me speechless with this write. It was that good....

Thanks for sharing...

[.shalynn.009.]

Another characterization poem. I love that innocence is the core, and everything else just a dead layer. So true, and such an interesting way to put your idea out there. And I love the contrast between the man's words and the words of the child, the first with a lot of punctuation, the other with just the period to show the calm, almost wise words of innocence. And I like that the child was gasping for air, both like the layers were choking him, and like he has just been born. Stripping away the layers gave the man a kind of rebirth.

Just one note. In this line "Suddenly in bemusement he shifts his site" I think "site" was supposed to be "sight".

Good poem. And thank you for the RR.

[Ruth]

Excellent love! I am in awe of the surprise at the end :) There is innocence in all, we just have to nrelate the measure of it to ourselves, brilliant poem! xx

[Deviant Works]

I was completely not expecting the ending. I watched the entire poem unfolding, the powerful process of freeing himself. I felt his contempt when he had finished shredding himself down and it made heart skip when he wept, but the close simply blew me away. Having to shed so very much only to return to the beginning of it all. What an absolutely unique, brilliant read and yet in so many ways this can be taken as a moral story as well. Incredible, Ashesh!

[Brad]

meloncholy madness, the ending was killer

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

wistful ending, beautifully delivered as delivered is he, back to the beginning~ wonderful