A Knock Unanswered

“Hey! Aren’t you the girl with the lip piercing?”

“Yes, so?”

“I just wanted to say it looked awesome. It really suits you.”

“Thank you.”

“By the way, I am Elija..”

And the alarm went off.

It’s 08:15 am. I am no longer asleep. I stay in the bed a little longer, trying to reconstruct how the dream could have carried on. How I could have talked to that girl whom I saw yesterday. But I could not think of anything. I check my phone for any messages. There are none. Maybe everybody is asleep. I leave my bed for breakfast. I am back in my room in fifteen minutes. I sit in my bed scrolling and liking the social media posts of my virtual friends and drowse off.

I am awoken by a knock on the door. It’s 12 pm. My friends ask me if I wanted to join them for lunch in a restaurant. Yes, I do have friends. But the last time I was with them in a restaurant, I was unable to connect to them. They are nice and warm people, but still I feel left out and alone amidst them. Maybe they are not my type. If I agree to go with them, would they even enjoy my company? I replied, “No, you go ahead”. I did not hear a response. Maybe I replied too late. Maybe they already left.

Sitting in my room I remembered a movie in which the character suffered from schizophrenia. Yes, maybe this is the answer. The cure to my loneliness. I surf the net searching about induced schizophrenia. All I find is its symptoms, causes and cures. There is no viable way in which I could victimize myself with it in a short time. The dim light of hope fades away into the darkness.

I wonder, in a world of more than 7 billion people, how one could be so lonely. I wonder why do I not find people who could connect to me. I wonder if there is anyone who feels as I feel. I was not like this always. I wonder what changed. Was it the new technological advent? Am I a prisoner of my own device? Or was it the frequent shifting around? I wonder why I think so much of the situations that I am not even in. I wonder what have I become.

It’s 11 pm. Another knock on the door disturbs the solemn sound of silence of my room. It is again my friends asking if I want to join them for a party tonight in a nearby club. But what would I reply if they ask me why did I not come with them for lunch. Or what if I say something silly in the club, what would they think of me then. I think I am not strong enough to face the turmoil of the outside world. I squeeze into my quilt silently replying “no” and daze off into my world, a loneliness of my own creation, as another knock goes unanswered.

Author's Note

A perspective study of the story may shed some light on the state of mind of Elijah.

Reviews

[APOORVA]

story that captivates.
liked it

[Ashish]

thank you Apoorva :)