Old Thoughts

How many of our elderly feel

As one grain of sand washes away

without being seen on the beach

So too do I, by imperceptible change,

dissolve into air beyond this earth’s reach

Moment by moment I am diminished

by the eyes I no longer awaken

I am fading into the far distant realm

of the lonely forsaken

 

Your eyes do not see nor can they discern

You cannot perceive I am reflecting less light

As I decline and vanish up into the mist

I subtly wane from your heedless sight

Until I no longer exist and no one can see

that infinitesimal spark of unending hope

is all that remains of me

Author's Note

In the American society, our elderly are the least thought of segment of people. I've noted in fundraising efforts, animals ranked #1, children #2 and the elderly were lost somewhere way down on the list. They need to be valued for their contributions and knowledge.

Reviews

[Kai Rollins]

That gave me a different kind of chill...but it was definitely needed. Thanks for putting things in perspective

[Giggling Star]

I hoped it would provoke some thoughts. Thank you for your nice review.

[Brittany Zedalis]

This is beautiful and thought provoking. I hate that older people are so often forgotten. It really bothers me.

[Giggling Star]

Thank you so much for your kind words. It obviously bothers me too :)

[Lover Of Words]

This is so beautiful my friend

[Giggling Star]

Thanks for the kind words Kelsey.

[Sel Sense]

Something for the world to think about. Thank you for the reminder.

[Giggling Star]

Thank you so much for stopping by. I appreciate it!

[Chris]

Isn't just the elderly... by any imagining. All people have worth and deserve notice.

I believe I understood your thought flow and intent but when reading this aloud a few flaws continually surface and I think they detract and distract. Line 3 to or too? Sometime implied words really need to be present - the last two lines lack a word that really is there ...least to me.

[Giggling Star]

Okay - thanks. I'll take another look at it. Just so I'm clear - I was detracting from anyone, of course I agree with your first line. :)

[Giggling Star]

Ok, I give. Is the missing word "unending"?

[Chris]

Unending works actually, AND it is YOUR choice... but you felt and heard what I was saying. And I know you weren't downplaying or detracting. The more attention we pay the less hurtful we are.

[Giggling Star]

curious though, what was your word?

[Chris]

That or the... either fits though each is in a different line and place, but it is all in the rhythm of the spoken tones as the reader speaks it aloud. The natural tendency to pause for effect or breath makes the difference - least to me.

[Giggling Star]

thanks for your comments - and insights. I appreciate it.

[Sami Khalil]

A great poem with a great message. Thank you for penning and shedding light on their plight in this or other societies...Bravo..................

[Giggling Star]

Thank you for stopping by Sami!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)..................

[Scott Metro]

We've been engineered to serve..once our value to the masters wanes..we have little use........
Old people are not wise..they have nothing to gift to the youth..and this is all so sad.
A very touching write....spot on !!!!

Scott

[Giggling Star]

Thank you for those kind words. I hope people will hear and act!

[Scott Metro]

:)
Scott......

[Giggling Star]

:)
Star ......

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

I love this and it is penned so beautifully that I have to read it again!
You truly captured the essence of it.
Thanks for sharing.

[Giggling Star]

Thanks Josie! This is a cause I carry close to my heart - we're all headed in the same direction ... no getting away from that :)

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

YOU ARE WELCOME MY FRIEND~WE CAN ONLY GO UP FROM HERE....CAN'T WE?

[Giggling Star]

For sure ... all of us ... looking forward to having all the answers!

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

Me too! The older get wiser and have more experience...to the future!

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

This is moving. I remember the story told by my sister- her experience with those old ones in a home for the aged. Different persons, different stories...but all brought tears to me especially when I watched the interviews and documentaries made by my sister. Why wouldn't you cry when you notice that one of them were the mother of a celebrity...or a former rich man but because of being abusive in the family, the revenge was done during his old age..or a great mother who sacrificed to support the studies of her child and her future, only to be left when the young woman met a rich guy and now the mother is only a part of an unknown story?

You're right. They need to be valued. They were left by their families. They need to be taken care of. They need help. More home for the aged are in need of funds. If the animals were ranked #1, how about these humans?

One of the relevant pieces I've read tonight. Thanks for sharing this, Star.

[Giggling Star]

Thanks Dhaye! And your sister's documentary is exactly what I was trying to get across. Good evening to you - hope you had a very nice day. :)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

You're welcome...and good am to you there, Star!