The Lawns - episode 4

The Lawns �" tales from a summer school

by T M ATKINSON

EPISODE 4 �" ALWAYS BE PREPARED

(Cut to show everyone in the dining hall getting breakfast.

Usual queuing up. The staff table has David, Ian, Andy,

Adam and Sarah on. They are chatting amongst themselves.)

NARRATOR:

Its the morning after the night before. Certain members of

the staff are nursing some sore heads, but they have to be

on their game, as all day is devoted to exam preparation.

Even the activity leaders have to pitch in to help. Its seems like

some staff though, may have a problem getting through the day.

(Carl approaches the table with his breakfast)

DAVID:

Oh my! He comes the grim reaper!

SARAH:

Were you taken advance of last night Carl?

CARL:

I don't want to talk about it.

IAN:

Did Marco rock your world?

(Tom approaches with his breakfast)

ANDY:

Did he make you a cup of tea when you got up?

TOM:

Did you push his stool up? What are we playing?

SARAH:

Its called 'What happened to Carl last night?'

TOM:

I'll have a guess and say he went into his room and

passed out and went to sleep. No sex. Am I close?

1

CARL:

Like I said, I don't want to talk about it.

TOM:

One nil Tom.

SARAH:

(To Tom) What happened to you? I'd thought you were coming

back out.

TOM:

You'd gone to your room with Mike.

SARAH:

He came in to borrow a DVD and left. I went back into

the kitchen to see if you and Nina...

(The camera pans in on Nina who is in the breakfast line)

SARAH:

were still up, but you'd both gone off to bed.

TOM:

(Looking a bit shocked) Right...would you excuse me

for a second?

(Tom gets up and walks over to Nina. The camera

follows him)

TOM:

Nina, could I talk to you? I just want to talk to you about

last night.

NINA:

It was nothing special.

TOM:

Good, now can I ask you to...nothing special?

NINA:

I've had better.

TOM:

That's what I was going for.

2

NINA:

And if you want me to stay quiet about it to Sarah, then

yes of course I will.

TOM:

Thanks. The bacon's good today. I've had better but...

(Tom and Nina smile at each other. Tom walks back to

his table and sits next to Sarah.)

TOM:

So, tonight then...

END OF SCENE

(Cut to Mike, Zack, Verona, Katie and Norman in the staff room

chaotically working)

NARRATOR:

Its the final preparation day before the students exam and

the staff have a mightily busy day ahead of them. The teachers

have exam practice and the activity staff will be performing a speed

dating night to further help the students with their English speaking.

KATIE:

That's all the exam papers ready. We need to sort out a seating

plan and teacher times for the speaking exam. I'll get on that,

Norman, can you arrange that all the group leaders know the times

of their students exams please?

NORMAN:

OK, what happens if they want to see the exam paper?

KATIE:

Not a chance! We don't want to be accused of cheating! They see it

when their students see it! End of!

NORMAN:

Right. I'll go make sure everyone is class.

(Norman leaves)

3

KATIE:

Now, Mike and Zack, this speed dating thing. All you have to

do is make sure that they're all talking about their topic for

their exam and that they are all practising their English.

Only an hour, then set up a disco or karaoke for them to

finish the night.

MIKE:

You can count on us Katie. We'll never let you down.

(Mike and Zack leaves)

KATIE:

Yep, that's what I'm afraid of. Verona, can you check the lined paper count?

END OF SCENE

(Cut to a talking head of Norman)

NORMAN:

This is always the most stressful time of the holiday.

Its the main reason they come here, to get a good grade

in an English exam. Its a sausage factory really. We churn

the students in and out and once these have done theirs,

the next group come in. We do this for six weeks. That's

a lot of sausages.

(Cut to show students going into the class. Cut to David's

class. The students are all sat down with paper in front

of them)

DAVID:

OK, this practice paper lasts two hours. We have exam

rules. No talking and no putting people off their work.

Every other class is doing the same as you right now,

as we speak.

(Cut to Carl's class who are doing the same thing)

CARL:

OK, this is what tomorrow will be like, so lets get this

past paper done and then this afternoon, we can mark them and see

what grade you would get if this were your real exam. No talking

and no distractions please. Your time starts now

4

(Silence as the students start writing. A noise

is heard like someone texting and then a game noise

is heard. The students look up and see Carl playing on

his phone)

STUDENT:

Teacher, could you stop playing? We're trying to

concentrate.

CARL:

Just a sec. I've never got past this Candy Crush level.

(Carl continues to play)

END OF SCENE

(Cut to Tom's class who are working in silence)

NARRATOR:

In any school, exam periods are tough. Its a time for the

teachers to reflect on their own exam experiences and how

its important that they give everything they have to the students

in order that they pass.

(Cut to talking head of Tom)

TOM:

Ultimately, this is what you're judged on. We're like football

managers, if the results aren't good enough, you've failed and

you've got to deal with consequences. That's not me...I know

sometimes, I may come across as someone who really gives

a crap about what I do, but I do. Being the best in the world at

what you do always comes with its series of challengers, and if

you can back up what you say, no-one's taking that title from me.

CARL:

(Talking head) I remember one incident in school. It was a

Science exam and the girl who sat in front of me had a nasty

accident and wet herself. God knows what she had been

drinking because it smelt like something a monkey had drank

first. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I was sick all over my

Science paper. Carrot chunks. I don't even eat carrot!

END OF SCENE

5

(Show the students coming out of their classes. They are

running and playing. Show Jack, Ian, David, Tom and Carl

in a classroom talking)

NARRATOR:

The first half of the practice exam is over. The students

get a rest and something to eat, before the second part, the

always dreaded speaking exam and the teachers have to prepare

the questions themselves.

JACK:

We could have a serious of generic questions and then ad-lib

once we know what they're talking about.

IAN:

My class are fairly scattered with their topics. Everything from

football to music to film, even what transport will be like in the

future.

TOM:

A student with a vision? We'll have to freeze them up and

save them for every exam!

(Some laughs)

CARL:

Well, I've gave my students the option to choose topics which I have

a good knowledge on, so I could help them?

DAVID:

You never did?

CARL:

Yeah. I want to give my students the best chance to succeed.

IAN:

What were their options?

CARL:

The best of American's next top model, the films of

Audrey Hepburn and classic ABBA.

JACK:

And what did they go with?

6

CARL:

(Short pause) Football, music and films.

(Others laugh)

CARL:

It doesn't matter because I'm sure they'll do well. I rise up to

any occasion.

(Enter Marco)

MARCO:

CU-EE. How are we all today? I just need a word

with Carl.

CARL:

Oh...(looks surprised and turns to the teachers) If you want

to leave us so we can have a private word?

MARCO:

No, let them stay. They are your friends and they can help

you with your little problem...(he turns to the others) Little

TinkyWinky couldn't get started, but its OK. We won't rush

it. We'll just go again another night. I just wanted to

come in and say its normal and I understand.

(Others all smile and stare at Carl who is in disbelief.

Marco kisses Carl on the forehead)

MARCO:

I'll see you later sweetie. Bye bye teachers.

(Teachers wave in unison as Marco leaves. Carl is

still in disbelief)

JACK:

Did that just happen?

IAN:

Surely not you Carl. You, who rises up to any occasion?

CARL:

Just stop it!

7

DAVID:

Maybe this is something you can bring up at your

next performance management meeting!

(All laugh)

CARL:

I said stop it! You don't breathe a word of this to anyone.

Is that understood?

(All agree and walk towards the door)

IAN:

Anyway, I'm starving.

DAVID:

Sausage and mash today.

TOM:

Just a little chipolata for Carl.

(All laugh except Carl as they all exit)

END OF SCENE

(Cut to Mike and Zack walking through the staff room

where the activity staff are waiting)

NARRATOR:

Mike and Zack are ready with the speed dating. They just

require the main hall set up ready to go and the job of

manual labour falls onto Mike's team.

MIKE:

Right, listen up. The speed dating activity tonight. I want it set

up accordingly: two seats facing each other with a table, a candle

in the centre and the table decorated with some crap, your job Nina,

romantic music playing on a continuous loop, but no One Direction.

Your job is to make sure that the students are on task and focused

and doing what they should be doing. Once the hour is up, we move

the tables and then its a disco/karaoke until tenish. This is so

simple, a giraffe with learning difficulties could understand it, so

lets see...have you got it Adam?

8

ADAM:

Loud and clear.

MIKE:

I've got Zack to draw out a floor plan of how I want

the hall to look. People, I'm not Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen,

I'm much better. Zack, give them the lowdown.

(Mike leaves)

ZACK:

Basically, the s**t has got to look like this.

END OF SCENE

(Cut to the teachers table in the dining hall)

KATIE:

So, how did this morning do. Did the students do OK?

DAVID:

Think so. They seemed to perform really well.

(Carl reacts)

JACK:

Yeah. They all put in a good level of effort.

(Carl reacts again)

IAN:

They even managed to get hard questions correct.

(Carl reacts again)

TOM:

They were pounding away at the work that you could

feel their knowledge pulsating, ready to explode!

(Carl stands and slams his cutlery)

CARL:

Right, enough! I asked you not to say a word and

you go blabbing off about it at the first opportunity.

9

(The camera pans around the dining hall. Everyone

is now staring at Carl)

CARL:

Last night, I was wanting to perform and a certain

part of me decided to stay at home. So I passed out

and went to sleep and the ironic thing is that when I

woke up this morning, he decided to show up, like a

date who had better things to do and showed up late

to party and still expected me to be happy to see him.

There, happy now? Everyone knows!

(Everyone is silent. Marco comes up to Carl and puts

his arm around him)

MARCO:

(Quietly) Carl, maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore.

You're obviously tired from working hard...and the students

progress comes first, so lets leave it as it is. I'll friend you

on FaceBook.

(Marco walks off. Carl walks off a few seconds later.

The cameras pans on him as he leaves)

JACK:

Should we go after him?

TOM:

Leave him. Let him cool down.

(Pause as everyone goes back to eating)

KATIE:

I'm confused. Either Carl went to play with friends or he

couldn't get an erection?

IAN:

That one.

KATIE:

(pause) Well, that's no biggie. Norman can barely raise a smile.

(Everyone looks at Katie)

END OF SCENE

10

(Cut to the main hall where the activity staff are

setting up for the speed dating. Show them working.

Cut to Sarah who is decorating a table. Tom

enters and walks up to Sarah)

TOM:

Hey you.

SARAH:

Hey. So what's the plan tonight then?

TOM:

I've booked us a table at the Blue Bell for eight, then a few drinks

after, then if you're drunk enough, I'm going to give you the

sexist three and a half minutes of your life.

SARAH:

Ha! Just three and a half minutes?

TOM:

OK, four minutes including foreplay!

SARAH:

OK! I'll see you at ten to and you can take me down.

TOM:

Great! Wear something s****y!

(Tom walks off. Nina and Mike come over)

SARAH:

Standard! (To Nina) So, that's my evening planned.

I like Tom, but...

NINA:

But what?

SARAH:

(Short pause) I can't think of anything to finish that sentence with.

NINA:

Maybe that's telling you something.

11

MIKE:

You know that you'll have a better night out with me.

SARAH:

Chicken Nuggets followed by a tongue in my ear. Yeah, great!

NINA:

HA! Where's he taking you?

SARAH:

Blue bell for a nice meal, then a few drinks after.

NINA:

Aren't you lucky? With our Steve, its a bag of Maltesers, then

ready, brace yourself!

(Both girls laugh)

MIKE:

Sarah, could you go grab us some more candles from the office?

(Sarah leaves. Mike goes next to Nina)

MIKE:

So, Tom's taking Sarah to the Blue Bell?

NINA:

Seems that way. They act like a nice couple.

MIKE:

What do you think of Tom? You were talking to him a lot

last night.

NINA:

He's a nice guy, good to talk to...(short pause)

No good in bed.

MIKE:

Pardon me?

NINA:

(Realising what she's said) Oh my God...I...don't tell anyone

I said that...especially not Sarah.

12

MIKE:

My lips are sealed.

NINA:

Good. Thanks Mike. I'll go see where Sarah is with those

candles.

(Nina leaves. Mike smiles and pulls his phone out of his

pocket and makes a phone call)

MIKE:

Hi, is that Rosie's escorts? I need a dinner date for tonight

please...

END OF SCENE

(Cut to show Ian's class. He is talking to a student.)

NARRATOR:

Back in the classrooms, the teachers are helping the students

prepare for the speaking part of the exam, a final opportunity for

fine tuning and grammar selection.

IAN:

Well done Cecilia. If you speak as clearly and confidently

in the exam tomorrow, you're going to pass easily.

CECILIA:

Thank you teacher. I'm more confident now.

IAN:

Keep practising with your friends and at the speed dating tonight.

If its fresh in your head, you'll be so good, you could be speaking

better English than me.

(Cecilia smiles)

IAN:

Can you send the next student up please?

(Cecilia gets up. Camera focuses on Ian)

CAMERAMAN:

That must feel very satisfying.

13

IAN:

Without a doubt. Just hope she can repeat it tomorrow.

CAMERAMAN:

So, tomorrow should be a lot easier for you all?

IAN:

Hardly. We've got to mark the exam papers when they're finished

and then get then results sorted ready for them the following

morning, so we really earn our pay.

(Another student comes up to Ian)

STUDENT:

Excuse me, do you mind not filming this? I'm a little

nervous.

CAMERAMAN:

Of course. No problem.

(The cameraman leaves as the student begins to practice)

END OF SCENE

(Cut to show Carl walking over the field, when he notices

one of his students sat on the field looking like she is

crying. He goes up to her, the camera follows)

CARL:

Julia? Is everything OK?

(Julia sobs and doesn't answer)

CARL:

What's making you so upset? Is it the exam?

(Julia nods)

CARL:

What is it that you're so worried about? Tell me...

JULIA:

I'm scared of not doing well.

14

CARL:

Why are you scared? You've been doing really well.

JULIA:

I phoned my papa and he's says I have to pass or I can't

go to College to be a doctor.

(Marco sees the two of them)

CARL:

So, you feel that you are being pressured by your family,

that you're scared you're going to fail?

JULIA:

It sounds silly doesn't it?

CARL:

It doesn't sound silly at all...when I was taking my exams

at school, my mum was very supportive, but my dad was

always on at me that if I failed, I would never

amount to anything. Do you know what I did?

I didn't listen to him...and I passed.

Julia, your father isn't taking the exam, you are. He's

over four thousand miles away, don't listen to him.

You're a great student and you're going to pass easily.

And you're going to go on to be the best doctor Italy has

ever produced.

(Julia smiles)

CARL:

Now, why don't you stop with this silliness and go and

enjoy the speed dating.

(Julia gets up, smiles at Carl and runs away. Marco

walks up to Carl)

MARCO:

That was very nice Carl.

CARL:

It was nothing, just my job.

15

MARCO:

I was thinking, we could start again. Go for a drink,

does that sound OK?

CARL:

(short pause) That sounds good.

(Carl and Marco walk off together)

END OF SCENE

(Cut to show the students entering the main hall for the

speed dating activity. All the activity staff are in, except

Sarah and Mike. Some of the teachers are in there too)

NARRATOR:

Its speed dating time and a final opportunity to

prepare their speeches for the exam tomorrow. This will

be followed by karaoke, however, for one member of staff,

he'll be hoping to be prepared for his own date.

(Tom enters with the camera following him)

CAMERAMAN:

Tom, is it OK if we film your date with Sarah? We think the

viewers may want to see how it turns out.

TOM:

Sure. Must warn you though, don't expect a load of

orange people falling drunkenly out of nightclubs.

(Tom goes up to some of the teachers and Activity

leaders)

NINA:

It looks great doesn't it.

ZACK:

(To the students) OK everyone, here are the rules:

You have three minutes to talk to the person next to you

in English. You talk about the topic you have chosen for your

speaking exam. I will ring a bell after three minutes and only the

person on the inside chairs move down. Any questions?

16

ZACK:

Enjoy yourselves. Begin.

(All the students begin. The camera pans between a few

of them. Carl and Sarah enter together.)

TOM:

You look beautiful.

CARL:

Thanks. Just something I threw on.

TOM:

I wasn't talking to you dumbass!

SARAH:

Carl has a date as well.

CARL:

And I need your advice. I'm off out with Marco

and I need to know how not to screw it up.

TOM:

Simple. Make sure you get an erection! Have fun.

(Tom and Sarah leave)

END OF SCENE

(Cut to inside the restaurant. A few people are dining.

Cut to Sarah and Tom)

NARRATOR:

After a hard four days, finally, Tom and Sarah can enjoy

their night together without any distractions.

TOM:

The calm before the storm.

SARAH:

Tomorrow is going to be crazy. Still, soon all be over.

TOM:

Till the next lot come in...

17

(Short pause)

TOM:

Thanks for agreeing to come out.

SARAH:

No worries. Its nice to be able to chill out and have a good

night without having to organise activities.

TOM:

Or having to sort out problems.

SARAH:

I sometimes wish that I never signed up to do this year.

TOM:

Why?

SARAH:

The whole Mike thing.

TOM:

Why don't we have a Mike free zone and just concentrate

on having a nice time?

SARAH:

(Smiling) OK.

(Both drink wine)

NARRATOR:

Unfortunately, their night is about to be ruined as less than

five minutes later, Mike walks in with a date...

(Show Sarah noticing Mike. Mike and his date are talking

to a waitress)

SARAH:

I don't believe it. He never stops!

(Tom turns around to see Mike who is walking over.

He acts surprised)

18

MIKE:

Well what a coincidence! You two dining on the same night

as me and...you haven't met Destiny have you?

(Waitress shows them to the table next to Sarah and Tom)

MIKE:

All friends together.

END OF SCENE

(Cut back to the main hall where karaoke is now

happening)

NARRATOR:

The speed dating over, the students and the staff can now show

off their singing talents.

(Norman and Katie walk in. Students applaud the person

who has just finished singing)

ZACK:

That was brilliant, but I tell you what would be more brilliant,

what if we can get Katie up to sing?

(All students cheer)

KATIE:

No, no. I'm just here to watch.

ZACK:

What about if we start a chant? She may sing for us.

(All students cheer. Katie protests)

ZACK:

Everyone after three, one-two-three...Katie, Katie...

(All students chant Katie. Katie turns to Norman

who tells to get up and sing.)

KATIE:

Alright...

19

(All students cheer. Katie talks to Zack briefly about

what music she wants on. Zack loads it up.

Katie starts singing 'The wind beneath my wings' and points

to Norman as she does it. One verse and chorus)

NARRATOR:

As one romance blossoms, one is on the verge of being

interrupted.

END OF SCENE

(Cut back to the restaurant. Mike and Destiny are drinking wine,

while Sarah and Tom are sat in silence trying to eat their meal.)

MIKE:

So, Destiny, I work out four times a week. That's why you

will always have front row tickets to my gun show!

SARAH:

Mike, can you shut up please?

MIKE:

Do you mind Sarah? This is a private conversation!

SARAH:

Well maybe you could practice keeping it a bit more private!

MIKE:

Steady on there Sarah. If you want to be a part of this

conversation, then join the table. Tom, sort your woman out!

TOM:

Mike, how about you leave us alone and you get back to...

whatever that is.

DESTINY:

And what's that suppose to mean?

TOM:

Nothing...just wondering how much he's paying you

for tonight.

MIKE:

That is outrageous! I've known Destiny for all of...three years.

20

SARAH:

Yeah? How did you meet?

DESTINY:

At University. Mike's sister introduced us.

SARAH:

Mike doesn't have a sister.

(Brief silence)

DESTINY:

(To Mike) You're on your own. I'm off for a dump.

(Sarah looks upset)

SARAH:

Come on Tom. We'll go have a drink in your room.

(Sarah and Tom get up to leave)

MIKE:

Nice work Tom. Sarah tonight, Nina last night. Notching up

more women than me.

SARAH:

What?

MIKE:

Oh didn't you know? Tom thought you were shagging me

last night, so he shagged Nina. Bit s**t by all accounts!

(Sarah looks shocked and turns to Tom)

SARAH:

Tell me you didn't do that...

(Tom looks down)

SARAH:

(Short pause) I thought you were different.

(Sarah leaves. Tom looks back at Mike

who holds his glass up to him)

21

(Cut to a talking head of Norman. As he speaks, the film

shows Carl and Marco having a drink and a laugh, Sarah

walking back by herself, Tom stood alone, Mike and Destiny

sharing a drink and the students enjoying the karaoke)

NORMAN:

The thing about being prepared is you can over prepare

and forget what it is you're meant to be doing and you can

fail, but nine times out of ten, you always do your best and

achieve what you want to achieve.

But sometimes, life throws some unexpected stuff...and its

how you react to that, that makes you what you are.

Some are born to succeed, some are born to cause

trouble and some are born to just go through life

unnoticed. I guess you can prepare and prepare and prepare,

but if you are caught off guard, just for a second, it will cost

you big time...luckily, there's no-one like that here...

(Norman smiles)

END OF SCENE

THE END

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