The Lawns - episode 6 - the final episode in the series

ADIÓS, ADIEU, ARRIVEDERCI, SEE YA!

The Lawns �" tales from a summer school

by T M ATKINSON

EPISODE SIX �" ADI�"S, ADIEU, ARRIVEDERCI, SEE YA!

(Cut to show the students in the main hall celebrating.

Some are on the phone, some are hugging)

NARRATOR:

Its results day and all of the students' hard work has

paid off. These are some of the most successful exam

results that a group has ever achieved at Stepan-Briggs.

Of the one hundred and three students, only one failed

and despite the 99.8% success rate, its the 0.2% that

annoys Katie Stevens.

(Cut to a talking head of Katie)

KATIE:

I just feel so bad for her. There's all her friends

celebrating around and there she is with a fail to

her name.

CAMERAMAN:

What did she fail on?

KATIE:

She passed the written exam, but failed by three marks

on the speaking.

CAMERAMAN:

So, what happens now?

KATIE:

Well, because its only one person, we can give her a

second chance, but if she fails it this time, that's it.

CAMERAMAN:

Do you know who she is?

KATIE:

Yeah, its one of Carl's students, Julia Maldini.

(Cut to show Julia sat down looking sad)

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END OF SCENE

(Cut to staff briefing where all are gathered)

NARRATOR:

At staff briefing, the news about the results is filtering

in. Norman Bridge is informing all staff of their duties on

the last day that the students will spend at the school.

NORMAN:

Teachers, its normal classes today, but what I thought would

be nice is if they could prepare a presentation about their time

here. Favourite activities, excursions, staff, that sort of thing.

At 11am, bring them to the main hall and they can show us

what they came up. I want all members of staff there to show

our support...this afternoon, activity staff, you take them into

Hull for a final shopping spree and then tonight...everyone

get your dancing shoes on because Mike here has arranged

a leavers disco with a very special DJ...Example!

(Staff murmur happily. Mike comes up to Norman)

MIKE:

Actually Norman, that's not quite right.

NORMAN:

What do you mean? I gave you his agents number and

got the money together. What happened?

MIKE:

He said he was busy, but don't worry. I booked the country's

best Example tribute act.

NORMAN:

Great. What's he called?

MIKE:

Prototype...he's just as good.

NORMAN:

(Pause) Great. Get to it, everyone.

(Katie enters and goes up to Carl)

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KATIE:

Carl, the student that failed was one of yours. A

Julia Maldini.

CARL:

Oh no. She'll be terrified about telling her parents.

KATIE:

How so?

CARL:

The other day, I caught her crying on the field because she'd

just been on the phone with father and he told her that if she

failed, she'd let the entire family down.

KATIE:

Wow, poor kid. Listen, I'm going to pull her out of your class

and re-test and then, I'm going to get her to phone her father

and tell her the good news. Sound good?

CARL:

Sounds excellent.

KATIE:

Good. Have a great last day everyone.

(Katie leaves)

END OF SCENE

(Cut to Tom's class. The students are preparing

their presentations. Sarah walks in)

SARAH:

Hey.

TOM:

Hi. What are you doing here?

SARAH:

Seeing as we've got nothing to do until this afternoon, I thought

I come and see if you need any help.

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TOM:

Cool. If you want to work with those students over

there and just sort of drop hints about how great I am.

SARAH:

I don't need to do that. You're great anyway...

(Sarah goes over to the students. Tom watches

her go over)

TOM:

(To students) Come on everyone. I want this to be the

best presentation. Better than any other class, especially Carl's...

END OF SCENE

(Cut to Carl's class where they are doing exactly the same

as Tom's. Katie enters)

NARRATOR:

While all the groups are enjoying creating their presentations,

for Julia, her chance for redemption is about to happen.

KATIE:

Good morning everyone. Carl, can I just borrow Julia please?

CARL:

Of course. Julia, can you go with Katie please.

(Julia gets up. The camera follows her. The door closes behind

them)

KATIE:

Julia, you know that you failed the speaking exam?

(Julia nods)

KATIE:

OK, we don't normally do this, but I'm going to give you

another chance to pass. I'm going to do the speaking test

with you and you're going to pass this time. OK?

Come on then...(to camera) Could you guys not...

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CAMERAMAN:

Sure.

(The camera films Katie and Julia walking away)

END OF SCENE

(Cut to show the students walking into the main hall.

The teachers are organising them when they get in)

NARRATOR:

With preparation time over, its time to see what the students

have come up with.

CARL:

Can everyone stay in their classes please? Thank you.

IAN:

(To Carl) Have we've got a running order for this?

CARL:

Lets go yours, David's, Jack's, Tom's then mine. Leave

the best till last.

(All staff are gathered as Carl takes to the stage)

CARL:

Welcome everyone. We're looking forward to your

presentations, but before we start, I'd like to say

something. On behalf of all the teachers, you have been

an absolute pleasure to teach and we are going to miss

all of you.

(Students cheer and applaud)

CARL:

So, without wasting any time, lets get on with the show. Lets

start with Ian's class, who's going to present it?

(A male student gets up with their presentation which

is drawn onto A3 paper. He gets on stage.)

CARL:

Introduce yourself.

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PAOLO:

Hello, my name is Paolo and I was in teacher Ian's

class. He is a very good teacher, who is very funny and

we will miss him, but we won't miss all the work and the

exam. Our favourite thing was ABBA, it was very funny and

I think Carl is very funny as a girl...thank you very much

for all the memories and we will never forget you.

(Students cheer as Paolo sits down. Carl comes

back on stage)

CARL:

Fantastic. Thank you very much. I do enjoy dressing up.

Next up, we have David's class. Can we have your

representative please?

(A female student gets up with a piece of A3 onto the stage)

MARIA:

My name is Maria. David has been our teacher. He is very

good and lovely, but he supports Liverpool, so he's not

all perfect. Our favourite moment has been coming into the

lessons, because, in Italy, our lessons are very boring, but

David made our lessons fun. Thank you for a wonderful

time.

(Students cheer. Carl gets back up)

CARL:

Great stuff. Next up, we have Jack's class.

(A male student gets up)

FLIPPIO:

My name is Flippio and I have been in Jack's class.

We have two favourite things, first, we love the activity

staff, especially Sarah, she is very funny and very

beautiful, and secondly, we think that Jack and Verona

should get married. They always kiss. Thank you all.

(Students cheer as Carl get back up)

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CARL:

I think Jack and Verona should get married, but they're

always glued to each others faces! Two more to go, can

we have Tom's class please?

(A male student gets up)

BRUNO:

My name is Bruno and I am in Tom's class. He is the best.

He knows a lot about football, but he thinks England are a

good team. His lessons are excellent and we will miss him.

Our favourite time was our trip to York. Its a very beautiful

city and we want to say that Hull is a very beautiful city too.

We will miss it very much. Thank you.

(Students cheer as Carl get back up)

CARL:

Wonderful and now we come to my class. I'd like to

invite Jessica up here to deliver our presentation.

(Jessica gets up. As Carl is speaking, the camera cuts

to show Katie and Julia coming back into the hall)

JESSICA:

As Carl says, we have been in his class and he is

very funny and a great teacher. We will miss him.

Our favourite bit was seeing the HBKs win with their

sexy dance and also, we enjoyed seeing ABBA.

Carl told me not to say anything, but everyone really

thought Carl pretending to be Pacman was very funny.

We love you and we will miss you.

(Jessica sits down as students applaud. Carl gets

back up and Katie comes up behind Carl)

CARL:

Very funny for you. Not so funny for me so now...

KATIE:

Excuse me Carl, sorry for interrupting. I just wanted to

say congratulations to everyone on passing their exam...and

I'd like to say a special congratulations to Julia, who has just

past her exam this morning. 100%!

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(All students whoop and cheer and chant Julia)

CARL:

That is absolutely fantastic! Everyone passed. Don't tell

Michael Gove because he'll say the exam is too easy!

That's the end of the presentations, do any of you teachers

and activity staff have anything to say?

SARAH:

Just to say what you said Carl. Its been a privilege to try

and make your holiday memorable. Thank you.

(Applause)

TOM:

Just echoing what everyone has said. I said to the camera

at the start of this that I was the best in the world. I was wrong.

You guys are, thank you.

(Applause and cheering)

CARL:

And finally, how about we get your activity manager up

here, Mike Black!

(Mike comes forward)

MIKE:

(Short pause) Your holiday has been great because

I made it great. Thank you.

(He starts blowing kisses to some applause)

CARL:

OK, thanks Mike. What would we do without you?!

That's all. Go get something to eat because it'll soon be

time for a final shopping spree. Go power our economy!

(Applause and cheering as all head towards the exit)

CARL:

(To Sarah and Tom) I didn't think he could get any more

narcissistic, then he proves me wrong!

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SARAH:

Don't let it bother you Carl. We know who they'll remember.

END OF SCENE

(Cut to the students waiting for the bus. The cameraman

walks up towards a group of students)

NARRATOR:

In the making of this documentary, we've seen the teachers

and the activities leaders working very hard, but what do the

students actually think about those charged with making their

holiday at the summer school a memorable one.

CAMERAMAN:

Excuse me, can we just ask you a few questions about

your time here?

(Students agree)

CAMERAMAN:

Which member of staff do you think is the best?

(Students say Sarah and Tom. Some say Carl)

CAMERAMAN:

What do you think of Mike Black?

(Short pause)

STUDENT 1:

Well, I'm sure he's nice, but here, I think he loves himself.

STUDENT 2:

He tries hard, but I think he doesn't really cares about his staff.

STUDENT 1:

We all thought that Sarah was in charge.

CAMERAMAN:

Really? OK, and one last question, what do you think

about Norman and Katie?

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STUDENT 1:

They are the best.

STUDENT 2:

They are like mums and dads to us. They look after us

and make sure we are OK. We will miss them very much.

(Camera pans round to show the activity staff, plus

Tom and Carl approaching the bus)

SARAH:

OK, everyone on the bus!

(All students get on to the two buses that are there)

CAMERAMAN:

(To Carl) I'd have thought that you would have wanted

a rest!

CARL:

I was going to have one, but then Tom said that he was going

to have a coffee with Sarah and the rest of them, so I decided

I fancied a latte!

(Carl gets on. Tom follows behind him)

TOM:

(sarcastically to cameraman) I can't tell you how delighted we are

that he's coming!

(Sarah laughs and gets on. The buses drive off)

END OF SCENE

(Cut to Mike and Zack in the main hall)

NARRATOR:

While some are off for a caffeine hit, for Zack and

Mike, its their job to make sure that the disco hall

is set up for the night. Prototype is expected any minute

and Mike wants to be there to greet him personally.

ZACK:

Do we need any tables Mike?

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MIKE:

No, just a few chairs in case we've got some lightweights

who need a sit down.

CAMERAMAN:

How are things going Mike?

MIKE:

Fantastic. Couldn't be better. Looking forward to tonight.

I'm sure the students are as well.

CAMERAMAN:

How do you think the students see you?

MIKE:

As a great guy who knows how to have a good time!

CAMERAMAN:

Right...its just that we've been talking to the students and

what if we said that they don't view you in a good light?

MIKE:

I'd call you a f*****g liar! What did they say?

CAMERAMAN:

They said that you don't care about your staff and that you

are too in love with yourself.

MIKE:

(Reacts like he doesn't care) Don't care really. Not that

bothered...(Short pause) What else did they say?

CAMERAMAN:

That they thought Sarah was in charge?

MIKE:

(Reacts shocked) Sarah? She couldn't run a bath.

Last year, she was all over me like a rash and now she's

not bothered? Well, I'm not bothered either...(short pause)

I bet they don't like Tom and Carl do they?

CAMERAMAN:

Well actually, they called them the best staff members here.

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(Prototype enters)

MIKE:

Well...(short pause) I...I'm not bothered.

PROTOTYPE:

(To Mike) Hi, I'm Prototype.

MIKE:

(Angrily) I'm fucked off!

(Mike storms off. Prototype looks shocked.

He turns to Zack at the far end of the hall)

PROTOTYPE:

Do you know where I can set up mate?

ZACK:

Over here mate.

END OF SCENE

(Cut to Hull City centre. The students are all shopping)

NARRATOR:

In Hull, the students are enjoying themselves on their

last full day in England. Overall, the impression that everyone

has enjoyed themselves, but how do the staff feel about losing

a group that they've gotten so attached to in such a short

space of time?

(Cut to outside a coffee shop where Carl, Tom, Nina,

Andy and Adam are sat drinking and talking)

SARAH:

Its always sad when a group leaves isn't it?

NINA:

Its just when you're getting used to them and getting to

know them a lot better.

ANDY:

Carl got to know Marco a lot better!

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CARL:

I don't kiss and tell.

TOM:

No, you just f**k and tell all! What was it, five times?

CARL:

Thank you Tom. That was told to you in the strictest confidence.

TOM:

No it wasn't. I didn't want to know.

NINA:

Five times?! Didn't it hurt?

CARL:

No. Once you create a hole, its there for a good while after.

Like a glove puppet!

(All look aghast)

SARAH:

Do you mind if we change the subject please?

NINA:

Definitely. There's something I want to ask you three,

how can you just say goodbye to people you've just met?

Does it get easier?

TOM:

Its no different than going on holiday and making friends

while you're there, with the staff, with the shop owners...

CARL:

With the reps.

SARAH:

Carl, no 18-30 flashbacks please! You do get emotional

attached to them, but if you tell yourself that they're only here

for a week right from the start, its a lot easier to say bye then.

CARL:

I don't know how I'm going to say goodbye to Marco.

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TOM:

Get your glove puppet out!

(All laugh)

END OF SCENE

(Cut back to Prototype setting up. Norman and

Mike enter)

NORMAN:

So this is the Prototype.

PROTOTYPE:

Hi there. Its Norman isn't it?

NORMAN:

Last time I checked and what do I call you, I trust

you weren't christened Prototype when you were

born?

PROTOTYPE:

No. Its Tarquin Percival Randall Junior.

NORMAN:

(Short Pause) Somehow, Prototype sounds better.

You've met Mike haven't you?

PROTOTYPE:

Yes, you were very angry.

MIKE:

Yeah. Sorry about that. It was a bad time.

NORMAN:

Well, Mike is here to to help you with anything you need.

I'll leave you both to it.

(Norman leaves. Prototype continues to set up)

MIKE:

So dawg, are you going to be dropping some beats?

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PROTOTYPE:

Pardon me?

MIKE:

I was just saying, will you be playing some good music

tonight?

PROTOTYPE:

Of course. That's why I've been booked. To play some

good music.

MIKE:

Yeah Fa-shizzle. Bang tidy.

PROTOTYPE:

I'm sorry?

MIKE:

I was just saying...dizzle on a big dawg's bizzle.Lizzle Rizzle.

PROTOTYPE:

Do you have any idea what you've just said?

MIKE:

Not in the slightest.

PROTOTYPE:

You just called me a diabetic dolphin who is currently

in a sexual relationship with my own mother...

MIKE:

Oh God, I'm so sorry.

PROTOTYPE:

You come here with your cool black hip hop lingo,

when you're the whitest person I've ever seen. Now,

if you really want to help me, you'll get out of my face!

(Mike leaves quickly. Zack appears to Prototype)

ZACK:

Did that stuff really mean what you just said?

15

PROTOTYPE:

Of course not. I just like messing with people who think

they're cool.

(Zack laughs as Prototype continues setting up)

END OF SCENE

(Dance music starts playing. The scene slowly fades in

to show the students dancing)

PROTOTYPE:

(Over the microphone) Lawns Centre, make some noise!

(Students start screaming and carry on dancing)

NARRATOR:

The farewell party is in full swing. For the students, its a

final chance to enjoy themselves and have a dance.

For the staff, its time to let their hair down, have a drink

and remember what they've achieved this week.

(Show Tom, Sarah, Nina and Carl are sat down

talking and drinking. Marco comes over)

MARCO:

Carl. Its my last night. Won't you come and have

a dance with me?

CARL:

Of course, but you owe me for this.

MARCO:

Yes. We will play our special game.

(Marco leads Carl off.)

NINA:

What type of game is it Carl?

TOM:

My money's on Operation.

16

SARAH:

No. Definitely got to be buckeroo!

NINA:

(Laughing) Listen, I'm really sorry about what happened to

you two. For what its worth, I think you'd have made a good

couple.

SARAH:

Not to worry. I'm sure Kate and William will be relieved.

TOM:

And anyway, we have to play second fiddle to the real couple

of the Lawns.

NINA:

Jack and Verona?

TOM:

Nope.

SARAH:

Its gotta be Carl and Marco.

TOM:

The glove puppets? Nope.

NINA:

Then its got to be the original. Norman and Katie.

TOM:

Our survey says (makes noise) Mike and his right hand!

(All laugh)

NINA:

I'll get us some more drinks.

(Nina gets up. Sarah and Tom smile at each other)

(The camera cuts to show the students dancing on the floor,

Carl and Marco dancing, Andy, Adam and Zack dancing with the

students. Norman and Katie enter)

17

NORMAN:

This is what I'm talking about. Young, vibrant

music. Gets the blood flowing.

KATIE:

Would you like me to remind you of your age?

NORMAN:

Oh come on Katie, where's your sense of adventure?

Of youth and spirit?

KATIE:

I'm just happy watching from here. I have no desire to

dance to this. I'll just look stupid and as a director of

studies, I want to keep a level of professionalism and so

should you.

NORMAN:

(sighs) Yeah, you're right. Managers have to remain professional.

(Mike bursts in behind them with a tie wrapped around his

head)

MIKE:

(To Mike and Katie) PARTY!

(Mike runs onto the dancefloor. Norman and Katie

look at each other, smile and then run onto the

dancefloor as well)

(Camera shows a full shot of the dancefloor. Tom and Sarah

drink up and go onto the dancefloor. A full pan shot of everyone

as the narrator speaks)

NARRATOR:

The end of a memorable week spent at the Lawns. A summer

school that does go the extra mile. There have been fallouts

and troubles, but ultimately, its been successful.

We have meet some interesting characters along the way, but

who is the main star of the Lawns?

(Cut to a talking head of Norman. As he begins to

speak, the camera still show the dancefloor)

18

NORMAN:

Its the students. They're the stars. We are just the workforce.

You see, the students we get here have only an image

of England through television and the internet. Not just

that, but people have a very negative view of Hull, but those

that think that, I honestly believe have never been.

We have Italian and Spanish students from some of the most

beautiful cities in the world crying because they don't want

to leave. That's what we do.

We can't change the world, we'd be foolish if we think we

could, but if we can change opinions and change the way

that certain people view the world...then we've done our job.

(Norman smiles)

(Cut back to the main hall and the dancefloor as the

camera slowly fades out)

END OF SCENE

(Picture fades back to show a panned view of outside

the Lawns)

NARRATOR:

Its been six weeks since we finished filming at the Lawns

and the staff have finished their stint and are all packed

up ready to go home. Katie and Norman have asked the

staff to gather in the staff room for a final farewell and

thank you's.

(Cut to the staff room where all the staff are. Jack

and Verona are cuddled up to each other. Some are

sat down while others are stood up. All are talking to

each other. Norman and Katie walk in.)

KATIE:

OK, settle down. We won't keep you long. I know

some of you have trains to catch.

NORMAN:

We just wanted to spend a few minutes just saying thank you

and also surprise you with...

19

BOTH KATIE AND NORMAN:

The summer school awards!

(Murmurs and cheers from the staff)

KATIE:

The first award is to the person who managed to be

too friendly with one of our group leaders. Now, last

year, Mike Black won this clearly, but this year, how can

I put this, its been drier than the Sahara!

(Cheers)

NORMAN:

This year, the worthy winner is Carl David!

(Carl gets up and celebrates)

CARL:

There's only one thing I'd like to thank for this...

DAVID:

(Shouting) Your bottom!

CARL:

Ha! No, its undoubtedly my charm! Thank you.

(Applause)

KATIE:

Only two more awards now. The next is for couple

of the year, the nominations are Sarah and Tom,

myself and Norman and Jack and Verona...

NORMAN:

And the winner is...none of those its Zack and Mike!

(Huge cheers as Mike and Zack get up)

MIKE:

Ha ! Very funny. There's no way I'd go with that!

Look at him...not even if I was that way!

20

(Zack looks sad, waits for Mike and then grabs him

and kisses him on the lips. Everyone whoops)

MIKE:

I didn't tongue him and I didn't enjoy it.

KATIE:

Yeah yeah, get a room you two...finally the award for

staff member of the summer. Now, throughout the summer,

we asked all groups to vote for the member of staff that they

liked the most.

NORMAN:

Its been a very close call this year, but I can tell you

that the staff member of the year is...

Its tied between Tom and Sarah.

(Both get up to applause)

TOM:

Thank you, but I think Sarah deserves this outright. She's

awesome, brilliant, fantastic and I'm running out of adjectives.

She deserves this.

SARAH:

Thank you, but likewise, I think Tom deserves this because

he's the most dedicated person I've ever met. Kind and

loving and always puts others before him. He's just...

amazing.

(Both look at each other)

CARL:

Oh for God's sake, if neither of you want it, I'll have it!

(All laugh)

KATIE:

Right that's it. We start recruiting again in March, if you'd

like to come back, we'd love to have you back. But for now,

its arrivederci!

(All hug and shake hands with each other)

21

(Cut to a talking head of Ian)

IAN:

I'll be coming back next year for sure. I love it.

(Camera cuts back to what's happening in the staff room)

MIKE:

I can't believe I got best couple with Zack. I just want to

set the record straight that I put my key in a pink front door,

I never go round the back to the blue front door. Ladies,

I'm free and available.

(Camera cuts back to what's happening in the staff room)

CARL:

I believe that I was the best. You know, you saw it with

your own eyes. It doesn't matter what they say. I know

I'm good...I'll definitely be back next year.

(Camera cuts back to what's happening in the staff room)

TOM:

You've witnessed that, even in a short period of time,

how close people can get, but nothing lasts forever.

The most rewarding thing about what we do is that we

can see the difference we make happening before our

very eyes..and that's a good feeling.

(Camera cuts back to what's happening in the staff room)

SARAH:

I'm actually very emotional because I don't want to go, but I've

got Uni so I have no choice. I'm leaving behind some special

friends...and its s**t to know that I won't get to see them for a

whole year.

(Camera cuts back to what's happening in the staff room.

The picture goes to split screen between Sarah and Tom)

CAMERAMAN:

If you could, would you stay here for the sake of someone

you care for?

22

SARAH AND TOM:

Yes...I would.

(Camera cuts back to what's happening in the staff room)

NORMAN:

Yes, we'd love to have you back next year. We hope

to have grown a lot and got even bigger.

KATIE:

But if you want to find out, you'll have to come back.

CAMERAMAN:

So, what's next for you two?

KATIE:

I go back to teaching, while Norman goes round

trying to drum up business for next year.

NORMAN:

As a wise man once said, its the end of something for us

now, its no big deal. We've just got to go away and dream it

all up again.

KATIE:

Yeah.

(Norman puts his arm around Katie)

(Cut back to the outside pan shot of the Lawns)

NARRATOR:

Stepan-Briggs summer school. A place where for six

weeks of the year, helps European studies to pass exams

on the English language. A little bit of paradise that will

always be remembered fondly by all who have been there...

This has been the Lawns.

END OF SCENE

THE END

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