Questions

1. What are the things you do to numb yourself to avoid facing your trauma?

Numbing myself from trauma is the endless self hatred and empathy giver to the point of emptiness, ruin and depletion of energy, love, or life in a effort to avoid my own pain to help others to better their lives with no regard to self love.

2. What is something you’ve done that you still have not forgiven yourself for, and why?

Actions taken has always been to better myself, be something, success and to never fail. Failure is death and only one option. To survive. success is destruction, painfully feels undeserved to be successful. Give to others and knowing that I can be empty with severe depletion in life has a life of survival.

3. As a child, what is something you wish your parents would said to you more and what is something you wish they would done less.

parents were a abusive toxic marriage, divorced and always left to survive. learned to not trust or conditioned to negative, painful hard lessons, developed a mentality of survival and grew as a child alone. Wish my parents realized darkness and growth.

4. If someone was talking behind your back, what is the thing they could say that would hurt your feelings the most, and why?

Absolutely nothing. Learned from years of disgust to never warrant my energy attentions to others,

5. If you were to get an apology from that person, do you want the apology because you actually want to hear those words from them, or because you feel,like your validation is tied up into what they think, and why?

Neither. appreciation on how strong this person has become and hard it was to apologize. Took a lot and that alone is strength.

6. What is the thing about your life right now that the younger you would be the most surprised by? Would they be proud of the life you have now or disappointed?

the hardness, cold, distant self I became. proud that overcoming a path of complacency and educated to be self reliant but with knowledge of the loneliness that became from sacrifice.

7. What is a promise to yourself that you keep continuing to break and why haven’t you stopped?

Giving. Heart to love and give when vulnerable , to shatter my well-being to another for them to not live life in darkness.