the sixth ELEMENT

the sixth ELEMENT

i see couples swear to live and die for one another,
i see couples swear to care till death put them asSunder,
they squabble at every gest from a stranger,
and put to rest that his quest be from yonder
make good use and econimise,
i am working hardest give me the prize
they snare silently and despise,
i ponder at love and  prefered respect
believe me we all require this aspect,

Adam looks at his Eve and says
maiden you have caused me so much grief
but because of love i will be brief,
given the up hill task when  two become one,
we cherish to be loved and pamperoned,
long is that road
which we knoweth not the destination ,

ooh love, what a heavy load....

female folk say 50-50 is just and fair,
 but forget very quickly when shopping at vanity fair
what is mine is yours my cherie,
please let my coffee be ready three,

i ponder at what the difference was before we took our vows,
the house is suddenly full of rows,
what went wrong? i stare and wonder,
 why did i ever promise not to let go assunder.
i put on her finger a daimond ring,
and i still prefer to wear my asos wings
where did cupid go wrong,
i thought long and hard about this song
well share and share alike they say
easy as falling of a bike
ooh what a  pain ......share with me
i cant complain

Author's Note

what do you think of the dialogue

Reviews

[Angelove]

I found a few little mistakes but that didn't fase me, I thought it was good!

[Ruth]

I enjoyed this a lot...you have some vibrant balance within this poem...
The ups and downs, ebb and flow...all along with great thoughts!
It scans lovely and was a pleasure to read...
I like the title a lot too!
Potent message too, enjoyed :)

[axel]

thanks, i am glad you liked it

[Yheela]

I think it's written very well, the flow is constant and the topic interesting.

[Junert]

I love the rhyming scheme and it's really strange how crazy lovers becomes enemies after marriage.:-/

[F.P. Chat]

I really like this one.
I love dialogues, everywhere, as long as they express the feelings.
This one is great

[axel]

well, i really think writing should be a dialogue , like chatting on the internet with some one you love , you say alot of things , real things, i hope we get to exchange ideas someday

[F.P. Chat]

true, I just find it quite difficult to express the feeling behind the words with only dialogue some times. yes please, i like a listening to a different point of view :)

[axel]

well,dialogue is THAT THING,that enables the reader to actually live the book /story,i actually dont like reachng for a dictionaty anytime i read a book or story,it takes all the fun out ofthe reading ,if you get what i mean