Chapter 2

This part of the story just sort of drags along, but I needed it, so there it is. :)

"Can you walk?" the girl asked. I nodded and heaved myself up. But my legs were still wobbly and I collapsed before I took a step. The girl covered a smile and held out a hand to help me. I ignored it and tried again, this time making it 2 steps away from my previous area, before falling face first.
 "I see. Okay then. My dear, little brother will carry you. I would do it myself but arm is wounded."
The boy whirled around to face, apparently, his sister. "No," he said resolutely.
 The girl stared at him, then half-screamed "Down Taro!" The boy immediately fell to the ground, his form in piggy-back style. I blinked in surprise, looking to the girl.
 "Hop on. Don't worry," she assured me. "He's harmless". The girl helped me onto his back and with a grunt, Taro stood up. With the girl in the lead, they walked back to where they came from and headed on straight, curving around trees, hopping bushes. Neither of the two talked, and if the silence was broken, it was by the sister, who only talked when pointing to something.
 "I just saw a white-backed firebreather!" And, "That is a Morgol Tree. Said to produce enough food for a 3-years supply in one month."
  I came to like her chatter when it came, but kept reminding myself of the danger of liking anyone. Soon, I found the courage to ask my questions.
 "Excuse me," came out my hoarse whisper. "Am I in heavan? Or... is this hell?"
The boy snorted. "Only if you're talking about Analia's cooking."
The girl smiled good-naturedly. "Very funny Taro. Oh, yes I forgot to tell you. My name is Analia. And this"- she gestured to the boy "-is Taro. I apologize for all my babbling. We were trying to find some herbs or game to hunt , but really all we found was you. And, good we did too. Night in this forest isn't exactly safe. Especially since the Inciopnus escaped. She pushed away some thick foliage in front of her and stepped onto a roughly marked trail.
 "Almost there" the boy Taro said. "You really are heavy." The girl, Analia,gave him a death stare.
 "What?" he protested. "I was merely stating the facts." This time, I whacked him on the head. Analia smiled in approval.
 "Be nice Taro. She looks like she's been through a rough time."
 "So have we! Fiora is going to dig my grave if we arrive late!"
 "I'll do it for her and throw you in it too if you don't get a move on!"
That seemed to get to him because he shut his mouth and trudged forward.
 "Um excuse me," I tried again. I glanced at the circlet atop Analia's head. "Ma'am where am I?"
We came to an abrupt stop. At first I thought it was me, but then I saw that we had come to a tree which, I was pretty sure, was bigger than the tallest building in the world, larger than all the others. The girl put her hand on the tree and whispered a few words I couldn't understand.
 Suddenly the earth began to rumble and right before my eyes a door carved itself into the tree and flung open.
 Taro and Analia walked into stepped into the tree. The "door" closed behind me as I looked up in awe. Amazing. The whole tree was hollow.
 "How is the tree hollow? " I asked, unable to stop myself. My voice echoed throughout the tree and I laughed. The girl and the boy looked at me quizically. I instantly quieted down. Taro kneeled down and let me off his back. My legs felt stronger, but I still stumbled. The girl caught me and put my arm around my shoulders. I narrowed my eyes; this was getting suspicious. These people could be kidnappers. But were there really kidnappers in heaven or hell? Better safe than sorry, I thought. I made a mental note to run as soon as they were distracted.
 But I guess it was good I had support because the ground began to shake so hard I could feel my brain bouncing around in my cranium. The ground underneath me began to rise, slowly at first then faster. Just as I thought I would throw up, we arrived at the top. It must have been a couple minutes but it felt like a second. I gaped as the canopy of leaves above me rustled. My company looked like calm and composed, as if they'd ridden on hollow trees a million times already. I decided to do the right thing and not notice.
 I got back on Taro's back when he offered as another doorway opened. A branch spread out in front of me, thick leaves hanging down from the canopy. Warm light flooded into the dark trunk of the tree. Analia and my ride stepped out onto the branch. I looked down, realizing at the last moment it was the wrong choice.
  "What are you doing?" I screamed. Taro flinched.
"Would you tone it down?" he said. "We've done it a million times already." They walked with ease across the branch, and Analia pushed aside the last layer of leaves in front.
 I took a sharp gasp. A huge, vast land lay before me, most of it black and charred; as if there had been a fire. Chains of hills stood off to the west and you could see a large body of water beyond it. What must have been a massive structure lay in ruins near the hills except for one tower. Me and my "rescuers" stood on a tree on top of a cliff, and when I looked behind I saw that the forest stretched as far as the eye could see. But it stopped suddenly off to the left.
 I could see the girl taking in my expression from the corner of my eye.
"You haven't seen this before?" she asked.
  "No, why?" I retorted. She gave me a hard look. a dawning look appeared on her face.
 "You," she whispered. She didn't say anymore. Just turned, walked to the end of the branch, and jumped.
 "Are you cra-!" I didn't finish my sentence because just then I heard a whooshing sound and saw the ground, for the second time, rush up to meet me, faster and faster.  "AIIEEEE!!!" In my shock, I let go of Taro.
 Suddenly my neck began to glow. No, not my neck, my crescent shaped crystal around my neck. I heard a screeching sound and then it was as if I was underwater. My ears felt clogged and my vision blurred. It probably only lasted a few moments but when my eyes came into focus, I saw pure crimson scales glittering on the head of the creature I had encountered not so long ago. Its leathery wings had webs of color stretched out on it, and the creature's head (or at least what I assumed its head was) had two long ears on the sides and intense golden eyes.
 I clutched at its long neck for survival. The ground sprawled before me, but apparently it had no intention of letting me down. The creature flew in a circle, then with one flap of its wings, shot off into the sky. The world went by so fast, my head began to spin and I vomited off the side. Everything was a blur. I don't know how I did it, but I grabbed one of the creature's ears and screamed with everything I had. "LET ME DOWN NOOOOWW!"
 Instantly, it turned around and plummeted down to the ground. I closed my eyes, waiting for the ride to be over. In a couple seconds I heard a loud thud, opened one eye. My eyes were still spinning but according to my other senses I had successfully landed on the ground.
 

Author's Note

I know this part is pretty boring, having to read the whole thing, but it had to be written to move the story along, even though it moves pretty slowly. But the next part is going to be better. :) Please be brutal in your suggestions. I really need the help!

Reviews

[Drowning with Stars]

I found it maybe a little slower than the first chapter, but definitely not boring. I'm looking forward to more :)

[Ami N.]

I loved it! :) Great continuation from the first chapter. Okay, so here I go with my edits again ;) (most of them are grammatical, spelling minor mistakes ~ But I shall still edit them for my own satisfaction :P)
- Piggy-back should be piggyback (no hyphen)
- "Hop on. Don't worry," she assured me. "He's harmless". (period should go inside the quotation marks)
- And, "That is a Morgol Tree. Said to produce enough food for a 3-years supply in one month." I think you should rephrase it so that it is grammatically correct: And, "That is a Morgol Tree, said to produce enough food for a 3-years supply in one month."
- "Excuse me," came out my hoarse whisper. "Am I in heavan? Or... is this hell?" (heavan spelled wrong  should be heaven)
- “We were trying to find some herbs or game to hunt ,” (don’t include the space after hunt and before the comma –sorry, minor mistake but it still pesters me)
- The girl, Analia,gave him a death stare. (there shouldn’t be a comma, just a plain old space between the two words)
- Quick question, who is Fiora? I don’t remember you mentioning who that was, but maybe I just looked it over?
- “At first I thought it was me, but then I saw that we had come to a tree which, I was pretty sure, was bigger than the tallest building in the world, larger than all the others.” I think this sentence is a bit too long. It would sound better if you rephrased the sentence as: “At first, I thought it was just me. But then, I saw that we had come to a tree which, I was pretty sure, was bigger that the tallest building in the world.”
- “ "How is the tree hollow? " I asked, unable to stop myself. My voice echoed throughout the tree and I laughed. The girl and the boy looked at me quizically.” (First of all, there shouldn’t be a space after the question mark. And, quizically is spelled wrong; it should be quizzically)
- “My company looked like calm and composed, as if they'd ridden on hollow trees a million times already.” (I don’t think there should be a “like” in the sentence. In my opinion, it sounds better without it)
- “I got back on Taro's back when he offered as another doorway opened.” Sounds awkward to me…maybe you could consider rephrasing it?
- “I looked down, realizing at the last moment it was the wrong choice.” Include the word “that” after “moment”
- “A huge, vast land lay before me, most of it black and charred; as if there had been a fire.” I think a comma would be a better choice (instead of a semicolon).
- “Chains of hills stood off to the west and you could see a large body of water beyond it.” I don’t think you should use the word “you” since you’re writing your piece in first person. My suggestion would be to write the sentence as: Chains of hills stood off to the west and beyond it was a large body of water.
- “Me and my "rescuers" stood on a tree on top of a cliff, and when I looked behind I saw that the forest stretched as far as the eye could see.” It should be “My rescuers and I”
- “No, why?’ I retorted. She gave me a hard look. a dawning look appeared on her face.” No period after look; it should be a comma
- “In a couple seconds I heard a loud thud, opened one eye.” (I think it should be: In a couple seconds I heard a loud thud, and I slowly opened one eye.

I think that’s about it. (feel free to ignore them if you don't want to incorporate them in your story ;)) Honestly, I loved this story so far :D It was just superbly fantastic. Keep up the excellent writing and hurry up and get the third chapter up. I’m dying to read it :) I really hope you get to be an acclaimed writer sometime in your life cuz your stories are fantastic (I’ll be your editor ;D)

Magnificent job!
*100*

[Ami N.]

Your sense of humor is...amusing :D Haven't finished reading it but I’ll give you a decent review after I’m done.

[Lizzy Roach]

First review! Yay! Ok, so good job on the tree but I would semi- like to know what the inside of it (maybe eye level?) looked like. I really like how you described the burned-out land and the creepy reptile thingie. Yay! Good job! please get chapter 3 out soon! :DDD