Achor! Achor! No More...

Achor is Hebrew for 'trouble.' i thought it was an interesting word brought up to me by my brother. The poem is up for interpretation, but was originated from the trouble i have of trusting myself and my inconsistency. i think.

 i swept that grass from my window,
(Afraid of her!)

It sealed a heart that was hardened,
(Afraid of me!)

i know my faith is so shallow,
(Afraid of her!)

You said myself You have pardoned!
(Afraid of me!)

i'd sure like to hear You talk,
because the grass and the trees don't make me walk
and the Sun and the Moon were never Forgiveness 
and even the Wind is never Endless!

And i'm so afraid!
i'm so afraid!
i'm so afraid!
Of being unobserved!
Alone!
And i'm afraid of not being gone!
And i'm afraid of her!
And i'm afraid of me!

i'm a frayed fiber.
No good to hold myself.
Oh, make me unwind.
You are Holy twine.

Author's Note

part of this i felt like i forced it, but perhaps not.

Reviews

[Shelby Baker]

Love it!
my favorite lines are 'i'd sure like to hear You talk,
because the grass and the trees don't make me walk'
Very nice write. once again good job

[Collect-Eye]

I had the same inner dissention with the couple that C. Boylan had..but it's not a bad thing..perhaps there's a common elemnt in all three of our innner thoughts that sees and expresses a sort of irregular vibration. I'm ok w/ it anyway old way you slice it..

I can relate to your theme in this poem on a very personal level..I'm interested in watching you progress..you will see this inner conflict as prosperity in time..whether it's in the next few minutes or several years..it is entirely up to your thoughts and your decisions.

If you are wondering if it's forced, then therein lies your answer. My suggestion is on the fence..perhaps your first thought upon reading it is right or wrong..perhaps the pendulum will see you forward. I hope so.

[Raef C. Boylan]

I liked the word-play of "afraid" and "a frayed".
This is quite stimulating to read; I'm normally put off by lots of exclamation marks in poetry, but yours worked well.

The only bit that felt a little like forced rhyme to me was -
"i'd sure like to hear You talk,
because the grass and the trees don't make me walk" - and that isn't necessarily so, because sometimes we're plagued by such inner couplets. I just struggled to find the connection between the two lines...
maybe it's something personal, and that's why I didn't get it?

Thanks to Emily Burns for sending me here.

[Emily B]

I love your honesty in this. The way you open up your fears and put them out there for all to see. Sometimes the things we fear aren't half as big and ugly once we wrestle them out from under the bed. This is a great write.

[AndBeForgotten]

It certainly doesn't sound forced.
"I'd sure like to hear You talk,
because the grass and the trees don't make me walk"
That's beautifully worded. The imagery is different and kind of abstract. I like it.

[HeyUmmWhat]

Did a great job putting yourself in your writing.