Wake Up, Sleeping Angel

I broke down listening to an interview with Jónsi (not just because the host had terrible Icelandic pronunciation). I had to make sense of my feelings... this was not the best way to do it.

You hit the nail on the head

Straight into my heart:

The difference between you then

And me now--all of four-and-twenty--

Is not just wisdom and courage,

But also fearlessness

To take risks, knowing that

No matter what happens

The answers will neither be

Right nor wrong.

For me, I am afraid to fail.

Each step forward is costly;

I may glow with each success,

But I dread the guilt

That would follow a mistake:

All that wasted time,

The sting of failure.

Maybe it is because of my values,

My habitus,

My body,

My tastes,

My insecurities,

My conformity,

My privilege,

My femininity,

My asexuality,

My settler-colonial inheritance,

The parts of myself I cannot name....

These all make me who I am,

And make me cautious.

Fear inhibits an artist:

A creator of anything.

All my attempts seem no different 

Than what the scores before me

Have already perfected.

What is the point of being

An echo of an echo (of an echo)?

How I wish to be like you were,

For even your (artistic) missteps

Sounded so right, and in the end

They got you to the hill

On which you stand today.

The same will not prove true

For me, I am afraid.

Sometimes it feels like

My time and passion will burn away

As I seek stable ground,

And I will find myself 

another “Sleepwalker”--all too late--

Never to wake again.

Am I doomed to this fate?

What a fool I am…

Writing as if it helps,

Crying as if this matters,

Asking as if you can hear.

Reviews

[Danny Metcalfe]

All artists are shamans at heart. It is the artist who sticks their head above the conventions of their age and awakens the angels of their time.
Really nice poem. There is an angel who is now wiping the sleep from their eyes.

[Belle O'Tricks the Strange]

Thank you very much!

[Levi Levin]

Great job explaining the unknown in a poem!

[Belle O'Tricks the Strange]

Thank you!

[Levi Levin]

Your welcome!