Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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Angel In A Swamp

Angel In A Swamp

A Story by Soulascat
"

Its about a boy who meets a woman who only knows her name and being pregnant but they aren't ready to be born yet.

"
Chapter one
In the swamp where I come here every single morning just because I enjoy the birds singing an unstoppable melody plus the crickets and frogs joining in too. The flies buzzing around repeating like cars, and lastly the river. Listening to the water rolling down between the rocks and trees to making its moments on this earth. It’s pretty amazing if you tell me the air fills with richly strong grass composting, along with the various plants. I decided to relax for a little bit till I felt a vibration in my pocket, my alarm was set off crazy plus loud. I got up, grabbed my pack back then started to run quickly. I knew I was late again to school and its only Tuesday?! Ugh, this is what I get for being Mr. Tardy all week straight. Adelia always reminds me to set my alarm on which I did and now I’m late. I hope my teacher Mr. Xander doesn’t call my parents Jane and Luke about this or else I am totally dead! I kept on running for a while now, non-stop until I saw something from the corner of my eye. The water was splashing wild along with the birds crying earsplitting, I sense that something was strange here at this moment. I looked around the lake to see what was going on. I found something glowing on the ground, a pile of leafs and grasses were covering up something white and blue standing out. I reach towards it and I picked it up. It was a ring, beautiful and unique, I never saw a ring like this before. I stare at it for five seconds then my phone rings, I jumped and reach down to my pocket. Adelia was calling me, I answer it “Hello?” without concerned. “Where the bloody hell are you Eddie!? Vaughn and I are trying to cover you and you're still not here yet?!” she said with rage. “Ok Adelia, just calm down. Gosh, have you reconsider of taking yoga classes? I heard they take the stress out of you.” I said with a smirk on my face. “Well if you going to start by being a smart arse, I suggest you save that for later and hurry up idiot!” she said then hung up. I decide to put the ring in my backpack and ran off to school and still I got a long way to go.
Chapter Two
I came running down the hill and behind it, is Red Lion High school. I reached up towards the stairs as I pushed the doors wide opened. I headed down to the hallways turning left then right, running still to catch up with my first period. The classroom door is still open and inside the classroom door is my teacher standing there watching me like a hawk, as I came down walking slowly because my lungs are hurting me right now. I needed to take a deep breath like my mom had taught me how to breathe for my asthma problems or else I’ll faint during my class period. I walked inside of the classroom as Mr. Xander closed the door behind me, I headed towards my desk where I sit next to is my only two best friends. Adelia who was giving me the silent treatment plus avoiding me then there's Vaughn, he was well just himself like always. Messing around with his pencil and stares at windows all the time watching the clouds pass by while Mr. Xander keeps talking to the classroom staring straight at me, like if I’m going to do something stupid behind his back? I was close to falling asleep till someone spitball at me behind my neck. I turned my head fast enough to see who did that? And I caught Gunner smiling right at me then chuckled with his friends. I was annoyed by his presence and his gang all the time, whenever I get up to sharpen my pencil he takes it away from me and pushes me out of his away then say “Thanks and I also might need your papers for my homework tomorrow. Freak!” He yelled at me and the next day after that he wrote on my desktop nerd, freak, and loser with big capital letters on it. Guess who had to take it off and miss lunch? Me obviously and I wasn’t happy about it one bit. I don't care what Gunner called me, (just because I have one different eye color and natural red head doesn't make me a freak, it's just who I am and also born with it.) I turned my back on Gunner and next thing you know he threw a snake on my desktop, I looked at it with a blank stare. The snake was small and it had black and yellow long strips and it was moving away from me looking for its way out on my desk, but I picked it up then raised my hand to excuse myself “to go use the restroom” to get away from Gunner and the classroom too. I walked down to the hallway passing by the boy’s room and next door to it was the entrance. I opened the door slowly plus stepping outside of the school, I bend down to let the snake be free where the grass is at. The snake was making its way out to leave the school grounds safety, I turned back then walked the halls too caught up with my classroom plus having to deal with Gunner again.

© 2017 Soulascat


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Yup. Gotta go to the Add Writing Tab and it's pretty self explanatory from there.
This has the potential to be a good story, but watch your tenses. You switch from present tense to past, sometimes in the same sentence. The descriptions are good. Some confusion about the water in the beginning - a river, then you look back at a lake?
You'll get the hang of the site, soon enough and it'll be fine: you'll start getting reviews and some of the writers here will help you with grammar/spelling/punctuation issues better than I can. As a first attempt, I just want to encourage you to keep at it. And try every button on the dang page till something works!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


Soulascat

6 Years Ago

thank you :)
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...
Maybe post wrong but write very right. Dialogues sounds very real. Story itself can keep reader attention all story from up and down. So 5 think is really good.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


Soulascat

6 Years Ago

thank you:)
You posted this all wrong.



This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Soulascat

6 Years Ago

whoopsxD hahah thank you I wasnt sure what the hell was doing? but thanks!
Davidgeo

6 Years Ago

Arf meow, meow arf.

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3 Reviews
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Added on July 25, 2017
Last Updated on July 28, 2017
Tags: I, wrote, this

Author

Soulascat
Soulascat

Phoenix, AZ



About
I'm new to this but once I get the hang of it I wont be new anymore more..

Writing
Chapter 8 Chapter 8

A Story by Soulascat


Chapter 7 Chapter 7

A Story by Soulascat