Underground

Above the city of Denver, mysterious creatures reside. How did they get there? What are they? Only one man knows. He holds the dark, deep secret the world has never known until now

Lukin sauntered through the caverns in deep thought. The creatures in the caves glared at him but did not approach. The doorway lie ahead. He hadn't ventured out into the outer world in a couple hundred years.

 

As the last of the Tarins, he knew that he had a legacy to carry out. He would soon need more cavern dwellers. He stepped to the door cautiously. A sigh slid out his lips as he pushed on the door.

 

It swung open and sunlight flowed into his eyes. Lukin winced for only a second, then opened his eyes wide and entered the outside world that he once called home. The doorway was hidden in a mountain near to the city. Lukin stepped onto a sidewalk and looked about. The city had changed very much since he had last been here. He walked down the sidewalk and glanced at a passer-by. A gorgeous woman, probably in her 20's. She noticed him looking at her and met his eyes. Her eyebrows raised and a crooked smile crept into her lips as she walked by. Lukin turned his head back to continue to see her, then he turned back.

 

To his right was a Starbucks, a company which he'd never heard of. One by one, men and women stepped out of the small establishment. Some looking frantic, others perfectly calm. He turned back to face forward and continued to step down the long sidewalk.

 

When night came, he took a risk and stepped into the alleyway. Although he wasn't as mortal as humans were, he could still be killed with a bad enough injury to his head. A few creeping shadows stalked by, but he paid them no attention.

 

Tarins were formidable warriors and fright was not a popular trait. Lukin was trained mainly by his father, but his father was soon killed along with the rest of the Tarins in the massacre. The day no one would ever forget. As Lukin was the last of the Tarins, he knew he would always remember.

 

It had been a normal day, and Lukin had been training with his father most of the morning. His father had sent Lukin to his room to study when the breakout occured. In case a breach like this would ever occur, Lukin's grandfather had built a small, hidden room in the center of the city. When Lukin heard the screams, his heart skipped. He knew this day wold come soon. It had been prophecied many years ago. Lukin ran as fast as he could to the door and threw it open. In the middle of the room were ten creatures of all different sizes. The Tarin men were trying to kill them and had succeeded with a few, but the massive ones were still left. Lukin grasped a broadsword and ran out to assist the Tarin warriors. Lukin's mother saw him running out to help and she cried out. One of the menacing creatures took a blow to Lukin's side when he turned his head. Luke turned back and stabbed the creature in the eye. The creature screamed and looked back at Lukin with an impending look in it's eye. Lukin started to back away when his father rushed over and attacked the monster. There was no mercy when his father killed the beast.

 

Author's Note

ignore grammar problems please

Reviews

[De Palma]

Well, as both a practical lifetime reader and six year seasoned writer, I'd say that this story is quite intriguing. Some areas need improvement, concerning the Tarins background and Lukin's characterization as well. But overall, this story seems to be as original as it can be, which is good. Readers will be glad to see a fresh fanatasy rather than an annoying repeated one.

When you first had Lukin see a Starbucks and people bustling about, then having the next paragraph change into night time, well, it just got me. I wish you had described his day better, or put more events into that day. But this is if I was the writer, and of course, I am not.

So, I am giving this story of yours a 4 out of 5. :D

Good luck and I hope to see more! :D

[WilliamScott]

This is quite a good read! I enjoy stories such as this that have a nice, original idea. Not only that, but it keeps me wondering what will happen next! Will you be continuing this story? If so, please let me know!