Mother

I always hated you.

Always did and always will.

I hated how you treated me like s**t.

Like I was scum.

I was nothing in your eyes.

You always made sure I knew that you hate me and wish I was never born.

A child that wasn't wanted. A child you regret having.

I can never watch my baby videos with joy.

Every time I watch it pains me so bad.

I watch how I cried for you and you would shove me saying," Go away. I don't want you here". 

How could you shove a child crying for love from their mother?

You vile woman. It sickens me to think of how badly you treated me.

You dared to scare my brother as well.

You repeatedly hit me with your heels in front of my brother. 

Till this day he regretted of not standing up to you. 

How could you do that in front of your child that respected you?

Then you go leaving us alone for years and come back like nothing ever happened.

Why did you leave us?

Did you expected us to have wide opens for you?

I remember how I made you a card for mothers day. 

You didn't even bother to read it. 

Later that night I watched you trash it.

Since then I don't bring you gifts on mothers day.

How could you trash something your child made?

Every time I watch a child holding their mother hand, I would remember how you rejected mine.

I remembered how you threatened to leave me at the parking lot so you could shut me up from crying because I was scared to be alone.

Why didn't you want to hold my hand?

Why did you called me a monster?

Why did you gave birth to me if you didn't want me?

Why don't you want me?

Why don't you love me?

I always hoped you would acknowledge my existent.

Always hoped you would love me as your own child.

Why don't you?

What mother does that?

It's pathetic of me to hope for a relationship with you.

I just wanted a mother to love me for me.

But that will never happen.

Just a person that gave birth me to for no reason.

A child without love.