when i wake at 3am

i.

when i wake at 3am
i listen
as the heavy parts of my dreams
slip through the cracks in my memory  
and pool in a place
God visits on occassion

the rest i cup in my palms
 
a fleshy bowl
a murky mixture
and a tongue sanctified from foolish drink


ii.

minutes gather around me like burlap children
they've kept all my regrets spit-shined and gleaming like brass  
they offer them to me with eager grins and feeble hands  
and i marvel at how ancient their reflections are

i refuse them
because i know the true meaning of nostalgia
that innocence was left in the belly of a dirt road
while childhood rolled into tall grass
under a winking moon

regrets are not trophies
a mark of maturity
collecting dust over a cold fireplace
a story to tell your children if they ever decide
God doesn't exist

the reason we look back is because we lost something long ago
and we don't believe the future can hold as much as the past


iii.

i lie down in a pool of revelation
and fall asleep to a vision
where life is not a  jumble of
sad songs
dirt road wanderings
and searching for God's voice in broken record memories  

it is a golden bowl of incense  
cupped in God's hands
that smells of
early morning prayers
letting go
and 3am redemptions


iv.

somewhere dark and secret  
a witch sacrifices a black cat to the moon

but the moon pays no mind

peeking through my curtains with wide eyes
she knows there are holier things to watch  

Reviews

[Sage Gabrielle]

"the reason we look back is because we lost something long ago
and we don't believe the future can hold as much as the past"

Such true words have been stringed together so truly.

[blueviolin]

that is what it all boils down to. thank you

[Rita L. Sev]

I really like the imagery in this - I have had a few of these nights...

Love this concept: regrets are not trophies
Well done!

[blueviolin]

thank you. i'm glad this spoke to you