The Linked"In"Fluencer

A Story by Manish Bhatt

Flipping open the laptop, it powered itself on. Flexing the fingers, the mind (with a twitching exercise of eyebrows), the lamp directly behind powered a halo. Equivalence achieved, it was time.

www.linkedin.com

The halo burned brighter. They could feel the knowledge coursing through their veins. Heart instead of pumping blood as usual was now pumping wisdom into the body.

The process always started at the THE GREAT INDIAN तोंद. They could feel it surging upwards from there towards the fingers. But instead it always seemed to make it towards the mouth.

A Glorious Burp. A Rotten Smelled Reflux.

Pahadi Chicken Tikka. Mutton Biriyani. The Bira Beer.

All of it after being worked upon the stomach’s acid seemed to have formed a foul-smelling concoction. That’s okay. It was worth it.

Representative - https://9gag.com/gag/aOx8x8R

Anyways, let the process begin again.

The Halo Thickens. Almost Blindingly White.

Processor grrrr…s into action and the unfathomably deep world of internet opened up before them. Let’s see what are the major headlines. There’s always some motivation POV (point of view) available to squeeze in. Or maybe let’s scrouge through in some - bare minimum - depth to highlight the apathy towards those issues which should be mainstream but are not. Specially if it involves women - Go Equality. Such issues are also always hiding in some remote corner. Or may be, may be, let’s take up something which they have experienced and in some brain fade moment analyzed. Will just need to butter it up - let’s look up some fancy words, quotes from the internet.

Fingers are itching to type. Hashtags are already made up in the mind.

And then starts the typing. Halo slowly filters through the head into the hands into the fingers into words on screen. But then they realize, value of this wisdom is not in its content but aesthetics of it. So, let’s sprinkle a good dose of emojis throughout the content. And it’s done.

A Moment To Inspect.

Perfect.

Now, let’s just click “Post” and impart infinite value to the world for today.

By the way, this streak is ongoing for 35 years since birth.