"In the Field Emptiness" Short Story excerpt of my novella by the same name.

What is it like to grow up and witness so much tragedy. Was it right what Lacy's mother did? How will Lacy cope with the sudden life changes and the secrecy she has to carry being 13?

Prologue: Bye Indiana

In the Field of Emptiness

           

As mom is packing up the suit cases I wonder what led my family to this traumatic event. My mom just stone cold shot my dad point blank, but she had to in order to protect the lives of her three daughters. My mom says “Lacinta get all of your important clothes, computer, cell phone. I will pack up your good clothes.”  I listen to my mom and I still look at the bathtub from last night. I obey my mother but I still can’t get the sight of that monster’s blood dripping, killing him one drop at a time, out of my mind. “Lacy? Is everything going to be okay? I….I am scared!” whispered Allison. Pulling her into a tight hug I reassure her saying, “Daddy was going to hurt us real bad and mom had no choice but to stop him…everything is going to be okay. Now go help your sister pack.” As Allison walks away I can’t stop but tear up at the fear painted on her face. How can anyone be prepared to witness a murder at the young age of ten? Being thirteen and the eldest I feel the responsibility to help my mother in keeping everyone calm. My mom is in so much shock at the moment, maybe she is reflecting on dumping the body in the Ohio River in downtown Louisville. I was in fright myself that night with my mom, two sisters and a corpse in the backseat crossing over a bridge from our home in Terre Haute, Indiana to a field of emptiness. Not only did the river wash my father’s life away but also my mother’s, Alexandra’s, Allison’s, and mines.

 

            Everyone had finished packing up what was left of our lives getting ready to move to our Aunt’s in Canada near Toronto. Mom and I had finished putting the bags in the trunk of the Jeep while Alex and Ally were all cozy in the backseat with their Harry Potter books in hand. I sadly ask mom, “So this is it?” with a weak voice full of shame she responds, “Yes….I’m sorry, but there’s no turning back now.” “But what is Toronto and Aunt Val like?” I asked curiously. “I heard it’s beautiful, and going to Canada can give us a needed break.” After some silence my mom finally put the car in drive. In no times we’re on Interstate 70 almost to Michigan, its 5:28 am and the next stop is the Canadian border. The farther we get from Terre Haute the more hallow I feel inside, almost as if we’re heading into the field of emptiness.

 

 

Author's Note

If there are slight mistakes ignore them, then they'll be fixed thank you!

Reviews

[Abderrahmane Dakir]

I like it. You are good on wrinting drama, push on writing like this. Thanks for sharing.

[mattavelli]

Hey, I had trouble focusing on the story. The scenes kept changing too fast. I realize this is a condensed version, but you may have squeezed it too much. Also, you've got to do more editing before you post. Those little mistakes add up to a "blurry photo" of a story, like in the last line; that mistake- hallow for hollow- sucked the emotion right out of it.
And this killed me: " I listen to my mom and I still look at the bathtub from last night. I obey my mother but I still can’t get the sight of that monster’s blood dripping, killing him one drop at a time, out of my mind"
That phrasing needs to be taken out and shot. Haha

Don't hate me, but that all I've got for you here. Have fun -Matt