Mother's Actions

My childhood, in a slightly jumbled way.

I walked around entranced,

I didn't know what to do.

Sometimes I had danced,

In this still, small house I knew.

Yet then we went away.

My mother and I were gone.

Like two sinking ships astray.

I seemed to be all alone.

I was only four.

I had to listen to you.

Though I never wanted more.

Just a family - mine - you.

You left be all too young.

A child by myself.

To fend for all - i sung -

this would be my new shelf.

I hid away inside

the memories I hated.

Yet, I just set aside

and watch as my life faded.

I don't think you'll ever know

the mistakes you've made with me.

The heartache I have through words shown,

despite all the horrid dreams.

My heart will be sad,

as a childhood I have lost.

A family that is bad

and creative mind cost.

All I wanted; you.

A family of my own.

All I wished; us.

to simply be left alone.

Author's Note

Please ignore punctuation issues - unless they are egregious - then tell me. Also, I hope you enjoy this piece. It seems like my first rhyming one in a while since I have been on a Prose Poetry kick. haha....Enjoy!

Reviews

[Y.F.]

This piece brings back some of my own childhood memories - my father died when I was 6, and although I didn't know him so well (the memories are vivid, but how can you truly know someone at that age) I have quite an odd relationship with him 'till this very day.
I suppose, after reading "Left Alone", that was not at all what you've meant, yet I believe that poetry should always be interpreted in as many ways as possible, and that sometimes how other people view our work can be more than interesting (yet another reason I didn't like learning lit).

As for form and flow - very well done, and refreshing after reading your proses.
I find nothing wrong with going back to basics, although the rhyming could use some work (some examples: 2nd stanza - gone-alone, 3rd stanza you-you, and the break of the rhyming at 6th, which I actually found good).
Keep it up. :)

[deeps]

I really enjoyed this write. Gives me flash back of the past.
This is a very well written and well expressed write.