Staying Silent

A Poem by BrandyAlaya

This is just a poem I wrote because I couldn't tell the person how I felt.

Why must you act the way you do?
It’s like I only matter sometimes
Can’t you see that I’m here too?
I remember our earliest times

I remember when we were good
I remember when we broke up
I remember being there for you
I remember hurting because you couldn’t stand up for me

I always thought about how we were a few years ago
I was absolutely infatuated with you
You were everything to me, My Yellow
But were the things you said to me true?

I remember all the hurtful things you did
You said you were blinded by love
But don’t you love me?
Am I not enough for you to protect me?

Have I not earned the right to be seen?
Tell me what I have to do
Please, I’ll do anything
I just want to know you

You broke up with me because of her
Why couldn’t you see through her lies?
Maybe you secretly wanted it that way
To not be my yellow anymore

I’ve been relating to Faye Webster a lot lately
She just gets it
You must think I’m crazy
I don’t want you to think that I’m throwing a fit

You’re just so unapproachable
I’ve tried to talk to you
I’ve tried to tell you how I feel
You just don’t seem to understand

When it comes to me, I get treated like her
I hate that you do that
I am not her
Do you think we’re both brats?

I am my own person
I am the girl that’s tried to stay
I am the girl that’s tried to work things out
I am the only one that tried

All you did was say “I’m sorry”
What does that phrase mean to you?
It’s so overused yet never really meant
I can’t keep accepting this

You say it’s out of habit, but is it really?
Maybe it’s a routine
Maybe you just say that so we can move on
Or maybe you say that because you don’t really care

I guess I’ll just have to keep my mouth closed
That’s the only way I won’t stress you out, right?
That’s the only way I’ll still get a text from you, right?
Why can’t we be the mature people we are?

So what can I really do?
I’ve been asking myself this question daily
So for now, I’ll just stay silent
Why must you act the way you do?