Prologue

And the trial begins.

"Rayna Westbrook, on behalf of the heavens and all who populate it, we declare your place as one of God's Angel's exempt." Those words were the last words I thought I'd hear. My face instantly fell and my thoughts went haywire. What were they going to do with me?

"As for your punishment, you will be temporarily banned from the heavens without any contact, to or from, for a time frame of four human years. Given your age, you will attend a High School of our choosing and a form of shelter. You will be expected to work and pay for your own necessities and eventually you will need a form of transportation. You have exactly two days to get your things together and to say goodbye to loved ones. Your wings will be temporarily removed, unless you decide to stay and fulfill a human life. The decisions we have made are permanent, do you have any questions?"

I looked over my shoulder. My best friend Kara was biting her lip, a tear escaping her eye. She knew exactly what was going to happen, and I didn't believe her. My mind trailed back to our earlier conversation.

"It's inevitable, Rayna. You defied God's Angel's. It's only logical that you'll be sent to earth. You're too young for any other type of punishment." Her tone was low, and I detected a bit of sympathy as well.

"What I did wasn't that bad, Kara. I talked to a Fallen Angel for what, five minutes? I mean, that's not too bad. Right?" Even as I said it, I knew it was a lie. Talking to Fallen Angels was forbidden, and even I knew that.

"Just, don't expect them to take it easy on you. This hasn't happened in decades. I'm not sure how they'll react. I want you to admit what you did, don't try to lie. If they try to send you away, bargain with them. You'll fulfill your years on earth, but ask to bring someone with you. Ask to bring me." She spoke fast, almost as if she was scared I'd cut her off. Which I should have. Nobody deserved to get their wings taken, especially Kara. A harsh sigh slipped from my lips, and I glared at her.

"This is my problem, my punishment. You aren't going to risk losing your wings as well because of my mistake. It's not happening." I spoke slowly, as to to make sure she understood every word clearly.

"What if I wouldn't lose my wings?" Her words stopped me in my tracks. The only Angels that step foot on earth with their wings still intact, serve as Guardian Angels.

"You want to be my Guardian Angel? Will they even allow that? And if they do, four years is a long time Kara. Is it really worth it to you?"

"Don't be silly, Rayna. You're practically my sister. I would do anything for you. I have nothing to lose. You're going to go in there, plead guilty, and ask to have me as your guardian Angel."

"Miss Westbrook?" I shook my head slightly, and gave my best friend a small smile of encouragement. "Any questions before we depart?" I turned my gaze to the head Angel and spoke softly and clearly.

"I have one statement, sir. I would like to have Kara Marshall by my side, serving as my Guardian Angel." His face took on a bit of surprise, and he looked to both sides of him at his fellow Angel's.

"Well, uh, that's not entirely up to us. We'd have to have the approval from Miss Marshall, as well as the rest of God's Angel's. Miss Marshall, will you step forward?" He asked, almost as if hoping she'd say no. Kara stood and walked gracefully towards the Head Angel. She stood only feet before him, waiting for him to speak.

"Miss Marshall, it seems that Miss Westbrook here needs a Guardian Angel and she volunteered you. I would like to hear your input as well as what you plan on doing with your time on earth before any of us can make a decision." He waved his hand forward, gesturing towards an empty chair. Kara took a few steps back and sat, clearing her throat.

"Head Angel, Mr. Pierce. I have decided that my friend's life, as well as reputation with the heavens and God's Angel's, is very important to me. All I ask is that you let me accompany her to earth, my wings still intact, to watch over her as her Guardian Angel. As for what I plan on doing over the four year interval, is quite simple. I will attend the same high school as she, and reside in the same form of shelter you supply for her. I as well, will work and pay for my necessities and eventually get a form of transportation. I won't speak a word of our kind, as well as Fallen Angel's. I will appear as a normal person, as a normal teenage girl." The Head Angel looked from me to Kara, and then back at me. He whispered something to the Angel next to him, and then stood.

"We will have our decision by tomorrow afternoon. A letter will be sent to your place with our answer, and in two days, you will leave with or without Miss Marshall." He put one hand in the air. "As one of God's Angels, I declare this case closed."

All of the Angels left the room in a single file line. As soon as they were gone, I stood as well, glancing at Kara. Although I was excited that I got to share my time on earth with my best friend, I couldn't help but feel a little bad for putting her in this position in the first place.

“Kara. I'm sorry. I didn't want you to have to go through this with me. But if it make the situation better, I feel a lot safer going to earth with the best Guardian Angel, ever.” I put on as real of a smile as I could get, and draped my arms around her shoulders, enfolding her in a hug. “I couldn't ask for a better friend, Kara.”

Her arms slid around me, embracing me in a friendly hug. “No problem, love.” She lowered her voice to a whisper, and said, “We're going to kick a*s on earth anyways!”'

The rest of the day seemed to go on in a drag. Any way my thoughts went, they always seemed to end up at the trial. Was it really that hard to send a fellow Angel to earth with a Guardian Angel? I was obviously going to come back, so what does it hurt, sending me with protection? Kara on the other hand, seemed way too happy. Confident even. Then again, she wasn't the one who just got banned to earth, without her wings.

Author's Note

I'm aware that it isn't very long. This is a story I'm trying to work with, but I need feedback and criticism to know where me and this story stand. What do you guys think, so far?

Reviews

[Somber Eyes]

To be honest, it's not the type of story I would typically read (then again, I don't typically read anything), but I would definitely give it a go based on what you have here.

What you have here shows promise, but there are several things which should be corrected (the most notable being that the friend's name changed from "Kara" to "Kate" towards the end). I don't want to discourage you from writing, or appear too negative, so I'll keep my critique to myself unless you request otherwise.

Again, this does show promise, and I think you should continue with it.

[brittneylynn]

Thank you for telling me that! I've been reading a book lately, and the main character's name is Kate. I'm thinking I got them confused. I'll definitely make the change right now. But thank you for the review!

[brittneylynn]

And I would love to hear your critique. It won't discourage me, it'll make me understand the things I may have done wrong. Please share!

[Patrick Henry]

I thought it was awesome!! I want to come back to it though if possible. You threw me off with the "Epilogue" thing, 'cause that comes AFTER a story is written to explain what happened or tell the future of the characters involved. I am almost done my "The Prophecy" movie watching and found this story to be freakin' perfect timing!! lol I think you did a great job in designing the characters, so we get to empathize and find that need to understand them. Pretty brave tackling a subject like this. For me, age 5 to like 14 was just reading horror stories, dictionaries, and books on Mythology.... I'm not sure I would have been able to do what you have managed to do in this story. Very nice, brittneylynn!! xoxo -Mark

[brittneylynn]

Thank you! I didn't want to consider it a chapter because it explains what happened at her trial and the first chapter (which I'm working on) is based after. I guess, this is a sample? To see how far i can get with it. But thank you for reading and reviewing!

[Patrick Henry]

Auuugggh!! You were teasing!! lol Bad, bad brittneylynn. : ) I tried twice, maybe three times to add it to my library for reading later, but couldn't do it. I'm glad you wrote in the comment box, though. I couldn't remember where I saw the story!! : ) I'm glad you like my "comment". It seems on this site, after I write one or two times on someone's poem(s), they don't talk anymore. Great job!! xoxo -Mark

Watch "The Prophecy"!! It's a classic.....

[brittneylynn]

I guess you can consider it a teaser! Lol. Well thank you again. Hopefully you'll be able to find it again when I put the first chapter in. :) And I'll definitely add that movie to my 'need to watch' list!

[Patrick Henry]

Score!! : ) What got you to even "start" this story? Was it a movie for you or some place you went, maybe? I think I "fell" for Kara!! : ) xoxo -Mark

[brittneylynn]

Well, I was reading the series "Hush, Hush" by Becca Fitzpatrick (by the way, if you like what I have here, you'd probably like her series as well). It's also about Fallen Angels. I enjoyed the books too much, and got an image in my head, that turned into a story. I'm taking the Fallen Angel idea, and making a completely different story. What I have going through my head, is completely different from her's, so don't worry. Lol. I just get really inspired by the books I read. It makes me want to write something just as fantastic as the book I just read. And I think everyone will fall for Kara! I definitely did as well!

[Patrick Henry]

: ) You have me checking every day, brittneylynn, to see if you have added to this!! xo I found a few things by Becca online and will start a book shortly if I find the time. I'm on this site so much, that it may come down to just "priorities". lol xoxo -Mark

[brittneylynn]

Haha, I am working on the chapter right now! I'm having trouble getting the write words on the page, so it's taking longer than I expected. But no worries, I'm not letting this story go!

[Patrick Henry]

If you need help, I can be right over!! lol I wish. ....meaning that would be cool to help someone. : ) I would like someone to read MINE, but mine is way too explicit. Have you checked out that movie I told you about? Check out the trailer on Youtube!! "The Prophecy"........... I'm seriously waiting for your next bit of writing to come. When it come to stories, I don't look at punctuation or the specifics I notice in writing poems. Know that there would be no "tough critique" when reading your story, O.K.? I read this again. : ) Got to brush up on keeping it in my memory. xoxo -Mark

[brittneylynn]

I'm really glad you like it! I really like it too, not to sound conceited or anything. Lol. And no, I haven't watched it yet. But I definitely will. I did read a couple of your things. I will definitely go back and read them again and tell you how awesome they are! Lol. I'll have the next chapter posted ASAP. Promise! :)

[Patrick Henry]

Auuuugh!! You almost got me to read you AGAIN!! lol It's a wonderful habit visiting your page, to read you. : ) The "explicit" thing I was mentioning was a story I started last year. The language is raw and I'd feel comfortable for you to not notice it before reading more of me, first. I can't risk losing you as someone I enjoy, brittneylynn. I wonder what Kara looks like in your head when writing. She feels so innocently dangerous and fantastic in both wit and beauty!! Would you like to see the first little bit of my story I started last year......... put in your box? Not here. We are writing a long story, just in the comment boxes for this story of yours!! lol xoxo -Mark

[brittneylynn]

I wouldn't judge you by anything. If it's good writing, then it's good, regardless of the language. And, I've pictured Kara as like, the bad girl type. I'll be explaining the way she looks in this upcoming chapter. I've actually started rewriting it. It's sounding a lot better, so I think it'll be posted soon! And yes! I would love to read it, so send away :)

[Patrick Henry]

When you finish the next chapter, how will we know about it? Do we just keep visiting your page? I have NOOOO problem with that. lol I'm just new and I don't know the different things for reminders, library, and ratings things....all that stuff. The story "mine" involves cannibalism, murder, day-haunts, drug use, sexual assault, drinking etc...... It's detailed like my poems. You have me excited about this story like I'm camping outside a bookstore!! : ) I hope you are having fun writing this. : ) xoxo -Mark

[brittneylynn]

To be honest, I'm new too so I'm not exactly sure how you'll know. I think you just keep checking up on it. Haha. And you should send me the story! Unless you have it posted? Also, I'm sorry I'm keeping you waiting for so long, I just want it to be really good!

[Patrick Henry]

I like waiting. I actually like THIS too!! I am feeling like I'm first in line, and every now and then, peeking through the window inside, I see the curtain move for a tease!! lol Even with not writing back and forth, I was surely going to keep checking in, but this way works awesome. : ) I posted it last night, but we warned, O.K.? Oh, wait a minute.... that was a different one I was talking about. This one is still a little "off-color" in parts. You've got fans, and ....they....are......stirring! : ) xoxo -Mark

[brittneylynn]

I like waiting too, but eventually I get really impatient. I'm actually really impatient with myself on this one. I can't seem to get the right words on the page. I have the image in my head and I know exactly how I want it to be, but writing it down to make it sound right AND fit, is difficult. Only cause I want people to like it. I will definitely go and read it. I like all sorts of things, so I'm sure I'll like it. And it is really good to know that I have fans! Hehe.

[Patrick Henry]

Try finding a diversion that kinda takes your mind off of it, and keep a piece of paper with you. See what YOU can remember so you may find out what's important to the story more than other stuff. If you wrote a story about an ant that goes to Europe and in the story, the ant eats a tomato, buys a car, and learns to fly, but when you try to remember..... you don't remember that. THAT might not be an important part of the story. : ) Talk out loud about your characters, and even try drawing them... even if you don't know how to draw. Just look for different angles and have fun with it. WE are!! : ) xoxo -Mark

[Patrick Henry]

I'm a moth to the flame... moth to the flame.... moth to the flame!! lol I'm always checking in to see if you are still writing, brittneylynn!! xoxo -Mark

[brittneylynn]

I've been extremely busy! I will be getting a new laptop from my parents so I'll definitely be writing more and I'll get the next chapter posted when it feels complete. I'm sorry for keeping you waiting. :)

[Patrick Henry]

Brittneylynn, I LOVE waiting for you!! It reminds me you are on this site, and why it's fun to be here. You already know you're getting a laptop? : ) Bad girl!! lol Are you looking through presents and shaking them? I understand the "busy" part.... going back to work every day and night this week. Oooo! Christmas... forgot. Have an awesome Christmas, brittneylynn, if I don't get to talk with you before then..... my friend!! xoxo -Mark