Staring

Staring

A Poem by David

Staring

 

The glazed over look,

the green slimy skin,

it backed to a nook,

where I stared at it thin.

Blood shot it gave roar,

and I stood there gazing back,

inside I was shaken to the core,

then my soul turned a foul black.

I stared into eyes of fire,

burning hot as hell,

I outright called him a liar,

to make the past for me to dwell.

I beat it down to a pulp,

remaining was only its gaze,

sweating, standing back I gulp,

for now I am in a maze.

I take a sharp left,

then a wide right,

I stood there bereft,

for I ran into night.

He was dressed in a cloak,

I stared into his eyes,

suddenly I awoke,

to find all were lies.

I go to the sink,

where I find a clogged drain,

I took a pill with a drink,

and began it again.

© 2008 David


Author's Note

David
It is like the only poem that rhymes

My Review

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Featured Review

I really liked this.
The rhyming was excellent. It didn't sound forced or anything.
My favorite part was the end where you say:
"I stared into his eyes,
suddenly I awoke,
to find all were lies.
I go to the sink,
where I find a clogged drain,
I took a pill with a drink,
and began it again."
Brilliant piece!

-Elissa :)


Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is different, which is a good thing. Your rhyming flows quite well. You showed some good images.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really liked this.
The rhyming was excellent. It didn't sound forced or anything.
My favorite part was the end where you say:
"I stared into his eyes,
suddenly I awoke,
to find all were lies.
I go to the sink,
where I find a clogged drain,
I took a pill with a drink,
and began it again."
Brilliant piece!

-Elissa :)


Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on October 30, 2008

Author

David
David

holliston, MA



About
I guess you could call me your average teen. I just seperate myself with my writing. I have always loved to write, whether it be nonsense or something serious. I cant remember a time I didn't. M.. more..

Writing
L is for Liar L is for Liar

A Poem by David