(I Feel It) In me.

that sad feeling again...

whenever i'm sad

i feel it in me

i feel the ache that  he left

every time i'm sad

it deepens with time 

and also experience

yet whenever i smile

the butterflies are still there

living inside me

as they morph into a tiger strapped in a cage

but the tiger does not want to 

escape

it's waiting for whatever he put in there

to come back

only he can unlock the cage

to let it, me, free

with only his touch

his eyes, i will feel free

but whenever i'm sad

i still feel it in me

Reviews

[GunMetal]

I definitely liked the metaphors. and this line, "but the tiger does not want to escape"
Good work.

[JenLyn]

Very sad, I can relate to it all too well. Great write, keep it up! :)

[ashley]

This is heartbreaking. So sad, but such a good write. Good job! :D

[deeps]

This is such a deep write here.
I like the emotion involved in this.
Well written and expressed.

[Pax Analog]

I don't think I've seen "sad," "butterflies" "tiger strapped in its cage" clustered together expressing loss of personal love before. It is an interesting spectrum, from blue, to nervous, to a magnificent animal passion, potentially dangerous.

The tiger is also emblematic of awe of creation in the Blake poem, "Tyger, tyger, burning brignt, in the forest of the night/What immortal hand or eye dare frame thy fearful symmetry."

The tone of your poem remains demure, making the most dramatic image all the more strange -- and life is indeed strange, we're all Strangers in a Strange Land.

Second stanza correction: "deepens."

Hmmm, "the butterflies are still there/living inside me/like a tiger strapped in its cage". . .One pauses over that, the butterflies being "like" a tiger. Suggestion: "morphing into" a tiger. . .Or words of your choice expressing the change. "Like" as simile is not only more watered down than a metaphor, but butterflies suddenly being like a tiger is a bit strained. The notion of the metamorphosis though, I think is good, as a butterfly is the result of a metamorphosis from caterpillar. . .and through metaphor may now be a strapped/caged tiger. . .

What impresses me the most about this poem is that its deceptive simplicity stimulated much thought.