First Day Blues

The first chapter of a young man who changes schools near the end his high school career.

How stupid everybody must be!  To think I am forced to associate with such miscreants. It truly makes me sick!  Right down to the deepest part of my gut. I've been going to this school for a few weeks now and the only thing I've managed to learn is how all my peers are just so absolutely,  utterly, without a shadow of doubt,  the most moronic beings to exist in the entire universe.  And that's a fact. Ughh! Boils my blood just thinking about it.

 I attended a very culturally diverse school district for the first 10 years of my education.  I never thought anything of being in class with people of different races,  social class, or even mental capacity. As far as any of us were concerned we were all in the same ship headed towards the same destination.  Life was pretty grand at the time if you ask me.  But then,  then it happened

My stupid mother and her stupid logic decided to uproot my sister and I because of our stupid landlord, kicking us out of the stupid bent roof dump of a house that we LIVED in for pretty much my entire life. Makes me want to scream just thinking about it!  

Now I've been enrolled into this uppity, white privileged, rich boy school.  I absolutely detest everything about it.  What a way to end my scholastic career.  Maybe next time my mother decides to flip my life upside down she can add a swift kick to my testicles and pour a shaker of salt directly into my eyes.  Couldn't make things much worse.

  I spent the summer in this strange neighborhood before the new school year started.  I was forced to live in a small, crummy apartment with my mother and little sister. Unfortunately I still currently reside in this not so humble dwelling and it does not appear that I'll be moving anytime soon.  There is a park down the road from us that has a decent basketball court and playground equipment so things aren't all bad I suppose. Being that my main passion in life is basketball I at least have something worthwhile to do when the weather is nice.

 I get along pretty well with some of the kids in the neighborhood and for some reason I've become pretty popular.  As to the reason why,  I have no clue.  Not like I'm very outgoing. I barely make an effort to converse with people. Especially in a situation I never wanted to be in such as moving to this strange place. I guess I must be a very approachable person.  I'm quiet,  so perhaps I come off as nonthreatening. Whatever the reason, people have always gravitated to me. Much to my dismay if I may add.

   The very first day at this new school went surprisingly smooth. As smooth as things can be while being forcefully covered in a chocolaty dessert. But more on that later.

 I waited at the bus stop near the park in the morning,  which was odd to me because my old high school did not have buses. I must say it was quite convenient not to have to walk many miles daily, even in inclement weather. I thought to myself that perhaps things won't be so bad after all. That optimism was not long lived.

As being early morning in September, there was a chill in the air. The moisture on the ground had yet to evaporate and I could feel a mild dampness setting into my clothing.  Being so used to walking miles to school everyday I was perplexed as how cold I was.  Perhaps not being in constant motion is what sent cold shivers throughout my body. I am not one for standing still for long stretches of time. Just as I was very much over the prospect of standing one minute longer alone underneath the darkened morning sky,  the bus had at last arrived.

The bus ride was far worse than I could of ever of imagined. For some reason half the windows were opened which made it just as cool inside if not more so than the outside. Stop after stop we picked up more occupants and the noise increased incrementally. After 30 minutes of this cold,  noisy ride I came to the realization that I'd much rather have walked than spend one more minute listening to the mindless blather that engulfed that metal death can on wheels.

  Oh and the odor!  It smelled like a steamy dumpster on a august afternoon that had suddenly been refrigerated in order to prolong the scent. What a nightmare! I very quickly understood why the the windows had been opened even on such a chilly morning.  They really expect teenagers to put up with such conditions?  I was appalled. I looked around to see if there were others who shared my dissatisfaction but it would seem I was alone. Everyone else was either content with the frozen stench,  or they have just become accustomed to it over the years. I thought about voicing my opinions to the bus driver but him being a man of at least 65, I had serious doubts to his ability to even smell the stench let alone care to do anything about it. No, it became painfully obvious to me that this would be a losing battle that I'd have no choice but to endure.

After what seemed like an eternity I finally arrived at the school. I went to see the counselor as I was previously instructed to do so during my summer enrollment process.  I was new and apparently needed advisement on my classes on account of the curriculum being different from my old school.  Why the hell would two schools separated by less than 20 miles have a different curriculum?  Oh how asinine. How can a student expect to compete with others in the job market later in life if his received education credits were below that of other school districts?  As a matter of fact,  how would said student be able to attend college if the curriculum of his high school was not on par with that of the surrounding schools teachings?  It's essentially being set up for failure. This school's curriculum was far ahead of where my education should be and that left me behind the other students. Not only that but I was still expected to take all the standard classes like everyone else even though they were far more advanced than me.   I figured maybe the counselor would be of help in this matter.  That was until I met her of course.

The counselor was a very robust middle aged woman with badly permed blonde hair.  She spoke so fast I could hardly follow and I believe I detected a slight lisp. Then again it could just be that her words struggle to escape through her fat cheeks and blubbery lips. Oh I shall not forget to mention the blubber. Her face resembles that of a pig that had been hit dead on in the snout with a cast iron frying pan. Perhaps that is a bit too harsh towards the pig species though. After all pigs are much more aesthetically pleasing than this melting hippo.  .

 I walked into her office and immediately hoped she did not notice the look of disgust that washed over my face upon seeing her. If she did notice she didn't let on to the fact. She just extended her lard riddled arm and shook my hand.  It felt like I was holding a lump of moist play dough. On closer inspection I came to realize it was some kind of thick grease that coated her palm and fingers.  I thought it was some kind of Vaseline until I noticed the burial ground of dead chicken carcasses on her desk. Who the hell eats a whole chicken in the morning?  Actually, who eats a whole damn chicken in one sitting in the first place?   

The first thing she asked me in a very annoying high pitched voice, "How was the bus ride?"

 Very quickly I replied, "It smelled like piss."

 She looked at me with a confused yet startled look on her face.  "I'm sorry to hear that but I'd prefer it if you did not use such terminology."

I felt an immense irritation building up and I was already tired of dealing with this insufferable woman. What did I ever do to deserve being sent to a place like this? At the very least I thought perhaps I could try to be entertaining and put this woman in a better mood for both of our sakes.

 I looked right in her eyes and said "I'm sorry miss, I meant to say the bus had a very strong urine smell permeating throughout not unlike that of an abandoned hobo camp."

 "Okay Mr. smart butt that's enough!" She was not amused at my attempt to lighten the mood.  I was able to tell very quickly I was going to be unable to correct the damning first impression I had made of myself. Of course I didn't care what this lard packing pig faced woman thought of me.  I just didn't want to spend more time than necessary speaking with her.

She went on and on about the school and things I should do to fit in.  Honestly,  I didn't really pay much attention nor did I care about what she had to say. Why should I have to worry about fitting in?  To be frank,  this was the rival of my previous school and as such I'd prefer not to fit in let alone become friends with the people of this school.

She continued to yammer on and I very obviously was no longer making an effort to even simply acknowledge what was being said to me. I was staring at the floor thinking of all the things I'd rather be doing.  At some point I looked up and realized she was no longer talking and instead was glaring at me. I smiled at her hoping such a simple gesture would squash any built up hostilities.  She did not reciprocate with a smile and continued on with whatever the hell it was she was talking about. I found myself looking at the floor again and I'm pretty sure she just about had enough of me.  Needless to say I did not make a friend in this woman.

 She gave me a quick final overview of what I needed to do and sent me on my way.  My first three classes I am unable to recollect what was discussed. I only remember how incredibly bored I was. Attention was demanded at all times in the classes but the students showed no signs of following the rules they were instructed to follow.

Now my fourth period was a study hall. By all accounts this meant 45 minutes of staring off into the distance and wishing I were somewhere else.  My study hall, for reasons unknown to me, took place in the cafeteria.  There was one teacher in charge and no one was allowed to socialize even though it was the first day and nobody had anything to study. So even though I was new and would benefit from meeting new people,  it just wasn't going to happen that morning.

  Half the day would go by without me doing so much as learning a single piece of vital information.  At the time I believed that if the school year were to continue in such a way,  I'd surely wither away into a husk of the educated gentleman I once considered myself to be.  All of the classes up to that point consisted of a course introduction followed by free time. It was hardly worth spending 45 minutes per class on such pointless activity. I could of knocked out a whole day of introductions in an hour or so.

Lunch time came around 11 o'clock right after study hall.  This is a bit early for my liking as I'm usually still quite full from breakfast. Since I was already in the cafeteria from my study hall I just simply stayed seated where I was.  As I looked around, the cafeteria very quickly filled to capacity with loud mouth teenagers. Every seat became occupied with the exception being my table. I wasn't hungry so I had no fear of getting up and having my table stolen from me. I figured I'd just hold the fort down and observe my surroundings.

Now I was in no mood to socialize but some company wouldn't of been so bad.  It appeared to me that all the students in this school belonged to some sort of clique. My old school had no such selective groupings so I wasn't quite sure what I was suppose to do.  I decided the best course of action would be to just sit there and mind my own business until lunch was over.

While I sat I started to daydream. I imagined what my life would be like if I'd never moved here. I thought back on my old friends who i rarely get to speak with anymore. I pictured what it must be like for that annoying counselors poor husband, having to sleep next to such a hideous she beast at night. Oh the absolute terror he must feel sharing a bed with it. I could never imagine the last thing to see before the lights go out at night being the repugnant face of that dirty walrus. I shudder just thinking about it.

  Quite some time went by since i first started to allow such grave imagery to inhabit my mind when all of a sudden I heard in a squeaky,  high pitched voice,  "That's our seat!" The images of talking hams quickly left my mind as I was snatched back into the realm of reality. .

Before I even had a chance to turn around I felt something pushed right onto the side of my head. It felt like wet cardboard and a faint chocolate odor permeated from it.  

 "Surprise!" Bellowed the squeaky voiced heathen behind me.

 I turned to see a group of gangly, pizza faced teenagers laughing maniacally at what had occurred.  I pawed at the mysterious object now crumbling down my cheek, to only realize it was some sort of chocolate dessert.  

"It's a moon pie surprise new guy!" Shrieked the adolescent punks in unison.

Moon pie? Who the hell still eats moon pies? Naturally,  I was absolutely furious. Even so, there was no way I was ever going to let these dirty little miscreants become aware of that fact.

The tallest, gooniest one, who I suspected of being the perpetrator of the moon pie explosion upon my face looked at me and snorted, "Eye in the sky only sees a moon pie." He looked up to a round bubble on the ceiling that I assumed contained a camera of sorts.

"What is the meaning of this?" I quickly retorted.

The gangly punk looked at his buddies for a second and responded with,  "Who the hell talks like that!" An eruption of giggles and snorts followed. "What is your name new guy?"

Surely I had a confused look on my face but none the less I tried to respond only to be immediately interrupted by that gangly snaggletoothed punk with whom I shall now refer to only as snaggletooth.."Never mind I know your name!" He shouted boldly as to bring attention from everyone within ear shot. "Your name is moonpie BUAHAHA!" His rat pack of ill mannered grunts took to laughing until they were doubled over in a fit of hysteria.

 Right then I knew this would be a very long year. Very long indeed.