Vampire Games

Immortal vamps have lovers spat.

Lazlo sat watching the super bowl highlights on one of the flat screen TVs’ over the bar. As he lifted the Stella to his lips he happened to see in the mirror, something that caused every hair on his body to stand on end and chilled him to the very core of his being. He started to shiver so badly that he had to clamp his jaw shut to keep his teeth from chattering. He put his beer back on the bar top and turned slowly to look at the tall sallow faced man sitting beside him. “ The last time I saw you, you were dead!”

 

“The last time I saw you, you had a gun in your hand and murder in your eyes.” The thin man replied.

 

“I shot you, two times in the heart. You were dead, I checked.” Lazlo wanted to jump up and make a run for it but he knew his legs would sabotage him. “You were dead,” he repeated.

 

“That’s right. Bang Bang, you shot me down. Bang bang, I hit the ground and I lay there starring up at your fat, ugly face.”

 

“So…if I shot you, how come you are sitting next to me now?”

 

The bartender appeared in front of them; “What can I get you Mister?”

 

“I’ll have a Bloody Mary, hold the salt and get my neighbor here another beer, on second thought he looks like he could use something stronger, better make it a double brandy. The good stuff, Hennessy V.S, nothings too good for the “Killer.”

 

“If I killed you, why are you still alive?”

 

“Because, I’m immortal, you can’t kill me, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt when I die. It burns like a b***h when I regenerate my body. I want to rip your arm off and beat your brains out right now for putting me through that.”

 

“You’re immortal, as in a Zombie. You’re a Zombie?”

 

“Do I look like a Zombie to you, nimrod? Look at me, I’m a perfect specimen. I’m beautiful. I’m immortal as in…I vaant to suck your blood.”

 

“You’re a Vampire? She didn’t tell me that. If I had known that I would have used silver bullets or an ash stake or something. I mean…you know if I had been better informed and I was really serious about you staying dead I would have came better prepared.”

 

“Oh, so now your trying to tell me that you weren’t all that serious. Two bullets to the heart was just a warning. Besides you watch too many Horror flicks, silver bullets, ash stakes don’t work and garlic just adds a bit of flavor to the meal so I recommend that you eat as much as possible. Your not a Vegan are you? I hate vegans, t’s like drinking low fat milk or worse soyamilk.”

 

The bartender arrived with the drinks. Vincent the vampire handed him a fifty and asked him to send another round over to the booth at the back. We’ll be over there. “Keep the change.” He said.

 

“There is no change; in fact you’re paying his bar tab as well you still owe another fourteen dollars.” Said the fake smile behind the bar.”

 

“Holy crap! The place isn’t that posh. There’s not even a piano man. Vincent handed over another twenty, it’s only money, not like it’s blood or anything, he said” He rose from his stool and made for the back booth. “Come on “Killer” we’re not done talking yet.” When they were seated in the booth, he looked across the table at Lazlo. “That’s what you are, right, a hit-man, a hired gun, an assassin? You don’t have to answer that, just tell me who hired you.”

 

“I can’t tell you that. If I say anything, I’m dead.” Lazlo replied.

 

“Fatman you’re already dead. The only thing that remains to be settled is how much pain you are going to go through before you die. Quick and easy or long and slow, those are your only two choices at the moment.”

 

“Are you going to turn me into a Vampire?”

 

“God no, you’re too ugly. Only beautiful people become Vampires. Have you seen any homely Vampires in those movies you watch? No wait…There’s probably plenty of ugly vampires in those movies, but in real life do you honestly think that I would choose a homely person to spend an eternity with? Now tell me, who hired you?”

 

“I owed a ton of money to a bookie on the east side and…”

 

“How much is a ton. How much was my head worth?”

 

“A little over 10K, give or take a few thousand.” Lazlo replied.

 

“!0K, that’s it? That’s all my life was worth to somebody. Who is this guy anyway? I don’t know any bookies on the East side.”

 

“It wasn’t him, someone paid out my debt and I became beholden to her.”

 

“Her! Some woman hired you to kill me? Now you really have my interest. Who is she Lazlo, remember I can hurt you a whole lot more then she can.”

 

“I don’t know her name. I was made to get in the back of this old black Ro;ller. She was dressed all in black with this big wide brimmed hat with a lace veil draped over. I didn’t see her face but she had this huge Asian bodyguard whom she said would fold me into an origami bunny if I didn’t do what she said. She obviously didn’t know you were immortal.”

 

Vincent turned whiter then white. He was already on the pale side being a Vamp but now he looked like a Donatella statue, that B***h he thought. She knew full well that I was an immortal because she is my eternal bride. She must have found out that I had a little plaything on the side and decided to teach me a lesson.

 

“Lazlo my good man this is your lucky day because a third option just presented itself to me. All you have to do is put a full clip of hollow point 9mm bullets in that lady and you’re a free man. Your debt to me is paid and by shooting me your debt to her was paid, so like I said, you’ll be a free man.” That is until she catches up with you he thought. “Don’t worry I know where she lives. I’ll set it up for you.”

 

“What about the bodyguard?” Lazlo said.

 

“Don’t worry about the bodyguard, I know someone who lives in her mansion on the hill. The body guard will be otherwise pre-occupied, just remember I want you to empty the clip and put a couple through her veil. I’ll even give you ten thousand getaway money.” Vincent said, but thinking, he might as well make it difficult for her to find you. He also tried to imagine Lazlo as an origami bunny.

Reviews

[EurasianFlavour]

I enjoyed reading it. There's something amusing about immortal lovers punishing each other that is lost with mere mortals, and if not for the summary, finding out who was trying to kill him would have been a surprise. Not quite a fan of the ending though. It's very abrupt. Feels like an incomplete thought.

[captain]

vampire story, fascinating and i really it. It flow's smoothly as i enjoyed the story. Great work!

[Larry Dyson]

like this phrase Jack..."You're not a Vegan are you? I hate vegans, t’s like drinking low fat milk or worse soyamilk.”

[Jack Dawkins]

Thank you for taking the time to review my work but your a poet what about them?

[Marie]

This is a pretty good story, but fails from the begining. Lazlo couldn't possibly have seen Vincent in the mirror; mirrors do not reflect vampires.

[Jack Dawkins]

good point but he would haveseen his clothes..

[Marie]

I'm not sure about that...maybe...

[Jack Dawkins]

Yeah I know where you're coming from but it seems that the old concepts about vampires, Zombies, Fairies and creatures of the fantasy world are being rewritten by the new writers of the genre. Go with the flow I say.