The danger of a dreamer

A personal favorite of my work ... a poem about a woman who has terrible dreams, and a man

All wrapped in a soft blanket

Eyes closed

In a deep undisturbed slumber

 

The brain inactive of nothing more than the innocent wonderings of a sub-concious mind

The sleeper rolls over as if disturbed by something they can see

And I look on so close to them but so far away from there thoughts

 

My hand gently brushes there cheek

The flinch acknolowlging the contact with the living world

But still they sleep so unaware of the danger

 

The gentle steel blade rests in my right hand

They sigh a deep sleep infested moan

Almost as if sub-conciously the balde has already done the damage

 

Then silence returns, nothing more than her muffled breathing

My eyes are drawn to her delicate face, he blond hair

Her body so stilll almost as if  in a sleep she will never return from

 

Then she moves suddenly and is mumbling

Her dreams trouble her, she screams out in the night

But her eyes remain tightly shut

 

My left hand falls carefully onto her lips, her eyes spring open

Like glourious blue waterfalls in a shimmering case

And she is silenced

 

She stares directly into my eyes

She is afraid

Her dreams slowly fade away from her

 

My left hand still positioned over her mouth

My right hand still clutching the blade

I soothe her gently, cooing her back into sleep

 

But she will not go

She will not stop staring

I am afraid

 

Her hands grab at me pushing me away

But i am already upon her

The blade sinking slowly upon her velvet dress

 

The plain white sheets

Stained red

And she screams

 

It does not faze me

I have watched her many nights

Heard the blood curdling scream of her troubled dreams

 

Her head falls back

I am entranced by her pain

She is crying

 

Then i am back again

Sitting in the old rocking chair in her room

Watching her deep slumber the steel blade glinting gently in my right hand.

Author's Note

Well jus ttell me what you think basically

Reviews

[quill of shadows]

well done i like it alot thers now way im winning the contest with such talented openents ans just so u know theres a typo 5th paragraph 2nd stansa keep up the great work

[Pikachu]

The world can bring so much darkness in lyfe, yet life would be so much harder if we couldnt dream. Its the inspiration of what could be done is that gives us hope. We gotta keep hoping and dreaming to someday reach something new.

[Xyve rrg]

Yes it is dark... I think you had a good work of keeping elements of suspense and mystery...
Anyway, in the 2nd and 3rd stanza, the "there" should be "their"
And really, who are the "their" in here? Since the speaker of the poem killed the woman, has he left the other one on the bed? Could this stand for something deeper? hmmm....

[M. Amphet Salt]

This is a provacotive piece and leaves enough open for the imagination come up with its on dreams. Good write.

[Vesa Lee]

Dark.
Dark and chilling.
Left me with so many unanswered questions...
Who is this man? Does the woman know him personally? What has caused him to have these dark desires?
There are a couple of i's that need to be capitalized, but other than that very good.